Living The Dream! (SiMulticross)
by Leekz01
Summary: The Story and adventures of a once average individual that gains a power that surpasses fantasy itself!
1. A Bizarre Beginning - Chapter One

**Chapter one**

You know how most stories involving normal people getting sent to another world usually begin with the protagonist being run over by a truck and dying? That's how the legend of 'Truck-kun' was born, telling of an incredible and amazing vehicle capable of sending you to another world with a cheat power and the assured promise of a 'sweet love-love harem life' if you let it run you over.

I always thought that legend resulted in a few desperate Japanese shut-ins searching for a truck to jump in front of, only to be extremely disappointed when the driver stop in time or they wake up in the hospital later on, every year.

Me? One day I simply went to bed late after spending some time checking the links to my favorite fanfics for updates, only to wake up the next morning inside a different bedroom. A bedroom that was, I must stress because this is important, both unknownandfor some reason completely familiar to me.

"The fuck?" I swore as I quickly threw away the sheets and sit up. I was quite understandably freaked out by the fact I didn't wake up in the same place where I went to sleep, but not as much as when I realized I just spoke with a voice that was not mine. I slapped a hand over my mouth, briskly pushed aside the realization my hand felt smaller than I remembered because there was only so much weirdness I could deal with at once, and looked around the room in search of anything that could explain what was going on.

Window next to bed. Same as before, but different curtains.

Desk with computer, manga and some games. Different position and PC's model, I was pretty sure that type of computer fell out of production seven or eight years ago. And the manga were... in Japanese? And somehow I understood the language as if it was second nature? Weirdness levels were rising, along with a few alarm bells because I know my tropes and the situation was hitting too many of them.

Another desk, this one with books, pens and other school materials on it. I knew I didn't have more than one in my room, yet I could distinctly remember doing most of my homework on it. Which is bullshit because I finished studying a long time ago, but also not?

A soccer ball. Something normal, when was the last time I-last saturday, when I spent most of the afternoon playing with Kenichi and the others.

Who the Hell was Kenichi?

Kenichi Saruyama, my only real male friend. We go to the same class. He is quite perverted and utterly without shame, but he's a good guy at heart.

That confirmed it: I have been Isekai'ed. With the body of someone else and his memories. In a Japanese setting.

Fuck.

No. No. I needed to calm down. Considering the current situation and its implications panicking was perfectly understandable, but right now that would do more harm than good. I could freak out about identity crisis once I was alone and sure no-one would disturb me. What I needed to do now was to remain calm and think rationally.

It was not going to be easy. Nowhere near it. But I was confident I could hold up for a little while, which hopefully would be enough time to avoid unfortunate questions.

First thing first: I needed a good look at my current face. I stood up from the bed, which to my dismay confirmed I lost not only a few years but also a few inches of height, and made my way to the first reflective surface within reach: the screen of the computer. I just needed to find the right angle for the light to reflect on and-

The face of an average-looking Japanese boy with unrealistic spiky brown hair and golden-brown eyes stared back at me with a panicked and dumbfounded expression. I raised a trembling hand and poked my cheek. The boy did the same.

I... I knew that boy. No, I knew who I have been Isekai'ed as: Yuki Rito, the main protagonist of the manga 'To Love-Ru'.

"You know, that my life was an ecchi comedy manga don't surprise me. It explains so much."

The sudden voice out of nowhere startled me, but it didn't take me long to recognize it. "Yuki... Rito?" I softly asked with an identical voice.

"Yes, that's me. Lee, right? Sorry for not speaking before, I had no idea why I was back in my old room with someone else holding the reins, so to speak. I tried moving but it seems I need your permission first."

"Oh... Okay." Being in the body of someone I once thought was just a fictional character, with said fictional character speaking directly in my mind was beyond strange, but at least I wasn't mistaken for a body-stealing parasite or something. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Not a clue. I don't have access to your memories, just your immediate thoughts. My best guess is some kind of time or dimensional travel travel mishap, it would explain why I'm-sorry, whyweare a teenager again."

Dimensional travel? Zelretch? God I hoped not, almost all fanfics have him being a troll of epic proportions. I didn't need an immensely powerful and bored vampire constantly messing with my life just for fun.

Then something Rito said caught my attention. "Why we're a teenager again?" I asked while sitting back on the bed. "You also mentioned this being your old room..."

"Well, this may come as a shock but the last thing I remember before waking up here is dying."My eyes widened."Of old age, don't worry. 87 years and I was still in good health, if I can say so myself. That's why I think I either traveled back in time or ended up in an alternate dimension."

An old Yuki Rito? I almost couldn't picture it, but it explained why he was relatively calm.

"Not to make you panic even more, but do you think this is some sort of really weird afterlife?"

I hoped not. Even if I couldn't remember how I ended up here, I think I would remember something as traumatic as my own death, especially since I was still young and couldn't have died of natural causes.

"Do you mind checking the calendar?"Rito then asked."It's on the left side of my work desk, the one with school books."

That's right, knowing when I was in the timeline was very important. I stood up and approached the desk, picking up the small handheld calendar lying face-down. Turning it around I confirmed it was May of the year 2006, with the last day checked being the 3rd.

"May 3rd 2006... That's right, Lala appeared in my bathtub the 10th! Man, that was an event I could never forget... for a large number of reasons."

I found myself grinning. "First time seeing a live chick naked does that to people."

"Don't I know it..."

The small alarm clock I haven't noticed until now chose that moment to ring. Turning my head around I saw it was eight in the morning.

"You should probably start preparing: today it's a school day after all."

School... day? Oh, that's right: the Rito of now was still a high-school student.And so I was, I realized with a small amount of dread. "But I haven't gone to school for years!" I complained with what most certainly wasn't a whine.

"Neither do I, but I don't think we have much of a choice. You could school skip today I guess, but as someone who in the eyes of society is still a fifteen years old boy you must go to school. Unless of course you want to deal with people and especially the police asking questions, in that case I'm glad I'm just a spectator."

I hated that line of reasoning, especially since he was right. "I don't remember you being so witty, Rito."

"I'm eighty-seven years old, boy."He replied with a chuckle."People change as they age, plus everyone is an idiot to one degree or another when they're fifteen."

"And you were a spectacular one."

"Touchè. Anyway, I think you have my memories of this time period? If you follow them you should be fine: just go wash up and have breakfast with Mikan for now, we can worry about the rest later on."

Oh. I was so caught up in the situation I forgot I was not the only person currently living in this house. How shameful, how could I forget about Best Lil Sis?

"Treat her well or I'm gonna get mad."

"Yes, yes. I'll be the best big brother ever." I replied with a grin while doing some stretching to iron out the kinks in my body.

Afterwards I did as Rito said and tried to willingly summon the memories of him as a student. It went surprisingly well, as if they were events that happened only recently. Once inside the bath I let habitual instincts take over and perform my daily ablutions before drying myself and walk down the stairs to the ground floor, where I was greeted by a delicious smell: Mikan was supposed to be an excellent cook, and now that I had the proof right before me I could say it was completely true.

Said girl was already seated when I entered the kitchen, quietly eating the food laid down on the small table. There was steamed rice, miso soup, grilled fish, pickles and a green salad. A small part of me wished for a more western breakfast, but everything smelled so good I couldn't find the strength to complain.

"Good morning Rito." The very cute twelve years old girl greeted me in a calm manner before going back to eating, hopefully missing how I completely frozen up, stunned at the sight of one of my favorite characters. I mean I saw a few realistic cosplay in the past, but this was the real deal: Yuki Mikan in the flesh.

Though that was not the time to fanboying over her, even if I really wanted to do that. "Good morning Mikan." I replied with a smile before sitting down in front of her. Now, Japanese people are really big on good manners and the like, right? I should probably start practicing getting into the proper mindset early to avoid making an ass out of myself, hopefully Rito's memories and assistance will be enough. "Thanks for the meal." I said while putting my hands together, I seemed to recall clapping is considered rude so I should refrain from doing it. Then I picked up my chopsticks and began moving portions of the food from the shared dishes on my own dish: it wasn't my first time eating Japanese, so I knew at least that much. Though I admit Rito's muscle memory was a great help when using the chopsticks.

"Mmh! This is really good!" I couldn't help exclaiming after taking a few bites. Rito you lucky bastard, you got to eat this every day? Somehow I knew he was grinning at me. "You're incredible Mikan!"

She blinked in slight confusion before smiling smugly, though in my eyes she still looked rather adorable. "Took you long enough to recognize my skills. That's right, praise me more."

"And in exchange I get to eat like this every day? You have a deal!" I cleared my throat before continuing with a purposely pompous tone. "My little sister Mikan is the best sister in the world. Not only she's cute and spunky, she's also an excellent cook too! Despite her young age she's very mature, if you are troubled she will always find time to offer advice-"

"Wait what?! Stop!" She yelped before pouting, a little bit of rosy pink coloring her cheeks. "Don't tease me like that! Geez, what happened to you Rito? You're acting weird today."

"Uhm. Well, you could say I woke up in a particular mood today." I cupped my chin while nodding, eyes closed and a smile stamped on my lips. It was even the truth from a certain point of view.

Meanwhile Rito was laughing.

* * *

After the frankly delicious breakfast (I'll say it again: you're a lucky bastard Rito) I got dressed in the Sainan uniform, picked up my school bag and, after saying goodbye to Mikan, left the house. It turned out the school wasn't located very far from the Yuki family house, but unless I ran it was still going to take a little while to reach it before the bell rang.

So I used the time to talk more with Rito. With some experimentation we discovered that not only I could access the memories of the Rito of this time period, but if I willed it I could let him access my own memories before the change. They were not exciting like his own memories, basically I was just a regular guy who had a average job and hobbies of playing games, reading manga and watching anime, but I felt it was an important step to build a rapport of trust. He treated me well despite having basically hijacked the body of his younger self, so it was only fair I paid him back the say way.

And then we reached my large mental library of hentai and smut.

"Oh come on! I know people make porn out of basically anything, my dad was a manga artist, but this-even my female self?! Eew! No. No. No way. No siree. Do not want, send it back."

'Don't be like that.'I said in my mind to avoid being seen as a loon by the other passerbys. I didn't know if I was successfully concealing my amusement, though. 'You were really cute as a girl. In a [girl next door] way.'

"Please stop, I can physically feel my inner pride as a man shriveling up."

'Fine, fine.' I snickered.' So, you were saying that in the future you married both Lala and Haruna? What happened to the Harem Plan?'

"Eh, it was too much for me. Blame my Japanese upbringing or whatnot if you want. Plus the way Momo tried to push it was honestly a bit creepy, she didn't really manage to endear myself to it. Though, I confess some times I wondered how things would have went if I did go with her plan... Nah, forget this old man's ramblings."

'No, no. It's perfectly normal to wonder about what-ifs.' It wasn't like I didn't often think about what I would do if I was in another character's shoes. And now that it really happened... but maybe this was not a conversation to have while walking to school. 'What about the whole [Emperor of the Galaxy] business? Did you succeed Gid?'

"No, I was just Lala's consort. Though I ended up helping Miss Sephie as an official job: you wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork involved with ruling the whole galaxy. We had to do a lot of decentralizing to reduce everything to manageable levels."

I winced: that sounded honestly bad. I knew Gid ran away from most of his responsibilities, but it seemed there was more to it that just him being spoiled and perverted. Still, I couldn't say that becoming king of the whole galaxy didn't sound appealing to me, workload notwithstanding. But having the title handed to me just because of marriage didn't exactly sit well with me: it sounded too easy. If possible I would like to earn it fair and square... but that would likely involve defeating Gid Deviluke in a fight, and that was not something possible for me even with knowledge of the future.

A shame, really. If only I or Rito had some kind of incredible power-

BA-THUMP

"Uh?"

"Uh?"

I said together with Rito, both of us startled. "Lee, was it my imagination or did I really hear a second, much louder heartbeat within our chest?"

'No, I heard it too!' I put a hand over my chest, but all I could feel was the slightly fast but still normal beating of my sole heart. That, that was strange: I had no idea what just happened, but I knew something like hearing a second heartbeat wasn't normal. Then again, nor was waking up one day in the body of someone I only recently considered mere fiction: so for all I knew this was normal, but I had no way to confirm it.

"Yo Rito!" My thoughts came to a screeching halt when I felt someone slung one arm around my shoulders. Looking to the culprit I came face to face with a grinning Saruyama Kenichi. "How are you today buddy?"

"Ah, Kenichi: if there even was a pillar of normality in my teenage life that was you. As paradoxically as it sounds."

'Did you ever tell him the truth about [Riko]?'

"When we became university students: afterward there was a lot of awkwardness, a fistifight and alcoholic drinks involved. Eventually we both laughed about it and renewed our friendship, even if the rampaging hormones made him even less bearable."

Oh oh, now that was a story I wanted to hear. "Pretty good, thanks." I replied to Kenichi before the pause between question and answer could grow awkward. "Remind me again what we have in program today? My brain has yet to fully boot up."

"I feel ya, man! I stood up until late reading, so I barely had the energy to get out of bed this morning." He chuckled. "Don't worry, today the worst we'll have to deal with is the usual sleepy lesson of Honekawa-sensei." His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, his lips turning up into a mischievous smirk. "You'll have plenty of time to stalk your beloved Haruna-chan."

"Jerk. Even if he's not wrong: damn my idiotic teenager self..."

I agreed with him there: even if I knew Rito's intentions were innocent spying on another person while hidden is definitely stalking. Than again, I supposed such a behavior wasn't uncommon among boys experiencing their first crush.

"Who the hell are you calling a stalker?" I feigned irritation and pushed Kenichi away. Time to use one of the excuses I came up to explain my gradual change in personality. "Today it's not like other days! I have decided!" I pointed a thumb at myself while looking confident. "I'm gonna build up my confidence with the ladies! That way I'll be able to properly confess to Haruna-chan!"

That's right: teenhood is a delicate stage of an individual's life where both the body and mind undergo great changes. So if you say [I'm going to change myself, then people around you will think that the following changes are the result of both natural growth and you making an effort to behave in a way you feel is more appropriate.

I was such a genius!

"As long as we don't constantly get chased around by jealous boys I'm fine with it. Seriously, do you know how long tales of all those perverted incidents haunted me? All my life!"

Truly, being Yuki Rito was suffering.

"I can recognize sarcasm now."

I knew.

Upon hearing my proclamation Kenichi stopped and tilted his head, a puzzled look on his face. "And how are you going to do that?"

"...I'll think up of something." I replied lamely. Can't have the changes happen too fast or they'll be back to being suspicious.

* * *

I'm not gonna lie, while I read about Japanese school-life experiencing it for myself was something else. I was a western guy after all, so even with the help of Rito's memories the differences between it and my old school life were quite surprising.

For example, changing shoes before entering the school building proper: I almost walked past the lockers without changing before Rito called me out to remind me of it. That was a bit embarrassing, especially since I properly put my shoes before leaving home. Then there was washing my hands before entering the classroom and, when the first teacher entered, standing up and bowing in unison with the other students for the daily ritual greeting. It got glossed over in the manga and anime by all the bizarre hijinks, but Sainan High was supposed to be a proper, if unremarkable, Japanese school.

Except for the principal. Seriously, what was up with him?

"You're asking me? Back then there was not a day I didn't wonder how that guy constantly managed to avoid getting fired, arrested or killed from all the crap he pulled. He even survived getting beaten by Yami, and she once confessed to me she never held back!"

'Is that guy even human?!' I exclaimed in shock within my mind. I could afford to ignore the lesson currently going on, it was all stuff I already knew. 'Wait, what if he's an alien in disguise like Ryoko Mikado?'

"I thought the same, but after graduation I didn't have to see him anymore so any thought of investigation kind of fell to the side... Do you want to look into it?"

'Absolutely!' Maybe I could discover he had some dirty secret and blackmail him into being less of a creep-that suddenly sounded like an hopeless endeavour, why is that? But I must persevere! For truth, justice and Mikan!

"While I agree with all three points, especially the latter one, I can't but feel a little concerned..."

Six. And a half. Hours of lessons. With just a small pause for lunch.

Japanese schools are insane!

"Those who attend a club or cram school stay even longer."

"Quiet you." I hissed as I walked away from the hateful palace of torture, thoroughly drained in both mind and body. The thought that I had to repeat it six days out of seven for the next few years was almost enough to drive me to tears: they never mentioned Japanese school-life was so hard for a western guy like me in all the isekai and self-insert stories I read! That was unfair, that's what it was! "And stop laughing!"

Since I, as Yuki Rito, had neither clubs nor cram school to attend to I decided to simply wander around, distracting myself by taking in the sights of the city. Sainan Town looked just like I remembered from the anime and manga, but now that I was physically walking through its streets I realized it was a lot bigger than I once thought, with hundreds of people and dozens of vehicles moving around me. From Rito I also learned Sainan was located on the island of Shikoku, though to properly visualize it I also needed to receive a quick lesson about the geography of Japan.

Once I grew tired I stopped by a park and sat down on the first free bench. There were few other people around at the moment and the bench was somewhat hidden by a file of trees, so for now I could enjoy some quiet and privacy.

"So Lee, have you thought what you're going to do now?" Rito asked after a few minutes of rest ."I mean, yes we both have knowledge of the future but for all we knew this is an alternate universe and events are going to play differently. Not to mention there are some messes in the future I would like to avoid, so I don't want to just follow the stations of canon."

"Don't worry Rito, that was never my intention." I reassured him. He was right of course, there was no reason for me to just follow the script and hope for the best. I needed to plan ahead and prepare contingencies, or I would get completely blindsided by the first unexpected occurrence.

Again, things would be so much easier if I had some kind of superpower.

BA-THUMP

I stiffened. There it was again, the mysterious second heartbeat. "Rito?"

"I heard it."

BA-THUMP BA-THUMP

And now there werethreeof them!

BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP BA-THUMP!!!

Four, five, six...Tenadditional heartbeats!? What the hell was going on here?!

"WHERE THE HELL AM I??!" A voice very different from Rito suddenly shouted within my mind. Then it was followed by other voices, all of them also shouting at the top of their lungs, which gave birth to an absolute bedlamright inside my own skull.

"Oh man, what is it now?"

"Who are you? Answer me or I'll kill you."

"If you really think you can intimidate me with a parlor trick then you're a fool."

"Alright, where I am and who do I need to blame this time?"

The last thing I remembered thinking before fainting is that I was glad no one was there to see me.

* * *

"Lee, wake up. You really need to wake up."

For the second time in less than twelve hours I woke up with no idea about what was going on, though this time I was greeted by a voice I recently became familiar with. "Uh, my head..." I complained while sitting up, only for my eyes to shot wide open when I realized I was speaking with myold voice.

And were those explosionsI was hearing in the background? What the fuck happened while I was knocked out?

"Good, you're awake." I felt a hand land on my shoulder, and it was with understandable confusion that I realized its owner was none other than Yuki Rito himself, back in his old body and wearing the Sainan male uniform. Though his current expression was that of a grandfather who need to deal with a bunch of rowdy kids and seriously require help. "Now we can hopefully find a way to calm down the others."

"Preferably before they manage to kill both us and each other." Another voice said from the side. I turned my head, and the sight that greeted my eyes was so surprising I felt my mouth hanging wide open.

Minato Sahashi, Tsunayoshi Sawada and Rin Tsuchimi. The protagonists of two manga and one visual novel I knew very well were standing before me: the first two looked clearly worried, while the third was exuding the calm and confidence of Future Tsuna despite being fourteen years old.

My day had just reached a completely new level of weirdness.

"Alright, let me begin by saying I know who each one of you is. What Idon'tknow is what happened after I blacked out." I stood back up on my feet and looked around. "And where we are right now."

We were in the middle of a decorated hall straight out of a fantasy castle, but one so wide it could have held a whole army. The ceiling stretched so far above it was hidden by clouds, as far as I knew it didn't even exist and the pillars as big as skyscrapers rising up from the floor and disappearing into the clouds were not holding up anything. I could see walls in the distance, and what looked like giant doors.

"Good question." Tsuna replied, eyes briefly flashing with the orange of Sky Flames. "This place doesn't feel real, but it's not an illusion. I believe this is an inner world created within a mind or a soul. It would explain how we're able to meet and interact with each other since I feel none of us are currently occupying a physical body."

Was that the famous [Vongola Hyper Intuition] at work? Neat.

"Before you woke up mister Yuki explained to us about the events that preceded our meeting." Tsuna gestured to Rito. "The circumstances of mister Sahashi, mister Tsuchimi and myself are identical: we arrived here after dying of old age, and from your earlier words I guess our respective lives were also portrayed as a fictional work of art in the world you came from, mister Lee."

"Just Lee is fine. At this point it's easier if we use each other's name." Something blew up in the distance. "Now, what about the explosions?"

"That would be the six other people that appeared here with us." Minato grimaced. "They jumped straight to violence."

"Since all hints point to this inner world belonging to you we were hoping you can do something to calm them down." Rin continued.

A beam of flames rose into the distance, followed by some kind of wave that cut straight through a pillar.

I winced. "How strong are we talking about?"

"Making a comparison with Dragon Ball..." Rito assumed a thinking pose. "Two of them can fit in the Z series, though I have no idea if they're still holding back or not. The other four are more end of the first series."

I winced again. "Dude, needing to use Dragon Ball as a measuring stick is already terrying on its own. No need to pour salt into the wounds. Do you recognize any of them?"

"Two of them are fictional characters in my world too... But it's probably better if you see it for yourself." Rito pointed a thumb behind himself, where the sounds of conflict where coming from. "It's a scene straight out of Jump Super Stars."

"Of what?" I asked, having never heard of it.

"The Jump Stars games were never serialized outside of Japan." Minato added. "Basically it's a fighting game featuring popular characters that appeared on Shonen Jump."

"Oh, I see." I nodded in understanding. "Well, let's go: hopefully I can really do something."

We approached the battlefield while using the pillars as cover, though once I was close enough to see all six fighters I realized they were too busy with each others to pay attention to their surroundings.

Up in the air Laharl from the first Disgaea game was fighting someone in red armor I recognized as the Scale Mail form ofBoosted Gear, which probably made that person Issei Hyodou.

On the ground, meanwhile, Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto was fighting Killua Zoldyck from Hunter X Hunter, the two boys firing lightning bolts at each other like they were going out of style.

Finally, also on the ground but a little to the side, Riku from Kingdom Hearts and Ranma from Ranma 1/2 were jumping around like crazy grasshoppers while exchanging blows of various nature.

I was seriously starting to question my sanity.

* * *

**A/N:** This story's concept was created by yours truly, but i could never get myself to write it out. so i commissioned from my boy Alexander over on the qq forums were this story originally post on.hope you guys enjoy the adventure!


	2. Inner Conflicts - Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

"I-I recognize all of them." I stammered, almost overwhelmed by the unbelievable sight in front of me. Like Rito said it was like watching characters from a multicrossover story duking it out, except it was real and not an animation. I was actually having some trouble following their movements, and the noise produced by their clashing was almost deafening. Was this what a real battle was like? "Which ones do you recognize Rito?"

"Sasuke and Ranma. I mean, who has never heard of Naruto and Ranma 1/2?" He scratched his head. "Though it has been years since I last read manga in general, so I don't really remember the details..."

"I also recognize Killua from Hunter X Hunter, Yukari was very fond of that manga. Well, of all shonen ones to be honest." Minato mused.

"Sorry, manga in my world were quite different so I can't help you here." Rin shrugged. "The introduction of real gods and devils must have caused, what was the expression, butterfly changes?"

"Alright, so some of the people present here were fictional characters in other worlds too, not just mine." I didn't know why, it seemed almost arbitrary, but it wasn't a mystery I was keen to investigate right now. "In terms of raw power the two in the air are the strongest, but the others all have special abilities that will hurt a lot if they hit, so trying to subdue them by force is definitely out of the question."

"That may not be as much of a problem as you think." Tsuna suddenly said, eyes locked on the fighters. "It happens very quickly, but all six of them heal back from whatever damage they suffer. Not only it happens the same way for everyone, but although they concealed it to different degrees they all were surprised the first time it happened. At such it may be a property of this world rather than an ability they possessed before coming here."

I blinked in surprise. "Like, this is a world where only souls or minds can enter and none of us has a physical body, so we can't really hurt each other?" It wasn't an entirely foreign concept, I remembered seeing it used in various media. But... "What about abilities that affect the mind or soul?"

"I have considered it." Tsuna nodded. "Do you remember if any of those people have such an ability?"

Sasuke. He has the Sharingan after all, and if like the others he died after living to old age then he must have a crapton of skills and experience using those hax eyes... But then, why is he fighting Killua with Raiton instead of using a Genjutsu? Tsukuyomi would put the young killer out of commission very quickly, and family of super-assassins or not I doubted the white-haired boy had a hard-counter to such a powerful illusion. Yes the world of Hunter X Hunter is pretty crazy, but so is the one of Naruto.

Maybe there just was something I wasn't seeing yet? Some kind of detail in the background?

There was also Riku to consider: he had a Keyblade, and from what I remembered of the games it was implied that he followed Sora to wherever they ended up after the third game. Probably some kind of wacky adventure or several of them. The point is, going by the lore a Keyblade is crazy powerful so if Riku had the time to master his own he is bound to have a lot of special abilities that affect the Heart, which in context is likely something close to either the mind or the soul, maybe both.

"One for sure, and another is very likely to have one such ability." I answered slowly. "But then, why haven't they used them yet? If they have noticed their regeneration and still insist on using attacks of a physical nature..."

"Are they fighting just because they can?" Minato finished, a disgruntled look on his face. "How wonderful, we're dealing withbattle maniacs."

"Oh, I wouldn't say it's the case forall ofthem." Tsuna tossed a brief glance at Laharl and Ranma. I was sure he didn't need his Hyper Intuition to pick up on it. "But there's definitely that, and maybe testing their suddenly rejuvenated bodies." He opened and closed his right hand a few times. "While I miss my height, I can say being young again is definitely a good feeling."

"Guys we're getting off tracks here." Rito warned us. "Lee, why don't you start with Ranma? Of those I know he's the one more likely to see reason."

That was true: Ranma was a bit of a jerk, true, but he also had a lot of honor and would never attack someone who isn't even defending himself. Riku was a bit more of a grey area, I knew he matured greatly during the various games, but outside of his friends he always acted a bit cold. Still, compared to the pair of demons and the one of assassins they certainly were the best choice to start with.

That said, I wasn't above preparing some insurance. "I'll start with him and his opponent, Riku. Tsuna, could you come with me in case things go south?"

"Of course. I have a lot of experience as a peacemaker after all, and even if right now said role is more suited to be played by you I hope you'll accept an old man's wisdom." He said with a grin that didn't quite fit his boyish features. Uh, I needed to remind myself that despite their young looks those were my favorite characters after they became old men: it was a bit disquieting, but I felt like I could rely on them even more.

"Good, we have a plan. Go for it, us normies will wait here until the ultra-violence is over and we can talk like normal people." Rito nodded several times, eyes closed and arms crossed while sitting cross-legged. Minato and Rin quickly imitated him.

I narrowed my eyes. "...Weren't you the kind of guys who'd jump into the fray even if there's realistically no way for you to make a difference if it mean helping a friend?"

"Of course I will! When you're in danger!" Rito waved a hand while smiling.

"I will shout encouragements. I have gotten very good at it." Minato proudly stated.

"Don't worry: everything will be alright." Rin said with a polite smile.

Those guys! They were among my favorite characters, the least they could do was giving me a thumb-up and telling me a cool one-liner like 'Don't worry: leave it to me', not toss me to the wolves!

I felt a hand on my shoulder, which belonged to none other than Tsuna. "They have their own pride: don't begrudge them for it." He told me with a kind, understanding tone. It took me a few seconds to understand what he meant, but then I realized that Rito, Minato and Rin had something in common: they spent the majority of their lives along people much stronger than themselves, and were forced to come to terms with the fact they couldn't directly help those people when there was a need to fight.

And it was odd in hindsight but at that moment I could really understand what was like, not just on an intellectual level. As if my capacity to empathize with others just shot through the roof... maybe it was because they were in one form of another all idols of my childhood days and I knew what they went through.

Or maybe Tsuna was just doing something with his Sky Flames. Could be either way. It was useful, yes, but in the future I would have to set down some hard rules concerning the use of mind-affecting powers, especially when the target was myself.

I sighed. "Let's, let's just go." I rolled my shoulders before approaching the martial artist and the dimensional traveler, the tiny mafia boss on my heels. What was the best way to approach it? Obviously body language played a big part, it wouldn't do to give the impression I was looking for a fight. I guessed acting natural was the best choice, it worked the previous times I had to play peacemaker in my old life. The part I had to be careful with was my words: showing I knew about topics Ranma and Riku considered private would upset them, at least until I had the time to properly explain how I knew about them. Before I discovered I could show Rito my memories, but I didn't know if I could do the same with the others.

Well, if I could I knew exactly what to show them in case things started to escalate.

"U-Uhm!" I began, stopping at what I judged to be a safe distance: close enough to be heard, but distant enough that Tsuna would be able to react. How I knew it? Because Tsuna started slowing down when we approached i, and I could take a hint. Seeing I was ignored I slightly raised my voice. "Please, can you stop fighting?! You saw it, we can't hurt each other! This is not a trap! If you want answers I have... some..." Finally Ranma and Riku jumped away from each other before stopping, looking at me with neutral stares. "But not all... Sorry?"

There were a few moments of silence before Ranma snorted. "Well, an incomplete explanation is better than none at all." He folded together his fingers before stretching his arms above his head. "Beside that was the best workout I had in years, so I'm actually in a good mood."

Riku snorted, Keyblade resting on his right shoulder. Now that I was close I could see he looked like he did in Kingdom Hearts III, and his Keyblade was the Braveheart. AKA, the giant pin tumbler lock key. "You enjoyed it."

"Aren't denying it. This the first time I fought someone using a giant key as a weapon, it was a novel experience." He put a hand on his chin and assumed a thinking pose. "Well, unless you include that guy from Sendai but they were smaller, had an actual edge and he used them like shurikens."

And now I was reminded that everything in Ranma's world could be turned into a martial art. Everything.

"Sounds like a loon." Riku raised an eyebrow before turning to me and Tsuna. "So, do you have names or should I call you Glasses and Shorty?"

Glasses? But I didn't wear gla-my hand, which instinctively came up to me face at the comment, stopped when the tips of my fingers touched the unmistakable metal frame of a pair of glasses perched on my nose. It wasn't blurry at the edges of my vision so my sight didn't worsen and those glasses were probably just ornamental, but what really threw me off was realizing the skin color of my own hand was much darker than it should be. "My name is Lee." I replied to Riku in a distracted tone before looking down at myself for the first time since I arrived in this strange world: black shoes, black pants and a white shirt. All normal things I owned, except for the black coat with a fur-lined collar and orange-bronze linings covering my upper body:that, I never owned.

But I once used it for a certain design.

"And I'm Tsunayoshi, but you can call Tsuna for short." The brown-haired boy then added under his breath. "Really missing my height."

"Give us a few moments please." I told Riku and Ranma before leaving towards the mafia boss and whispering. "Tsuna this is important, please quickly tell me my hair and eyes color!"

One of his eyebrows slightly raised in response, but he nonetheless answered. "You have orange eyes and silver hair."

That confirmed it: I had my old voice, but looked like the character I once made for the mmo Mabinogi. WhyI had no idea, but it sounded like the kind of things a bored ROB would do.

Or, since I sure as hell didn't have the powers of my Mabinogi character, I had this appearance simply because deep down I thought looking like my character would be really cool and my inner world granted my wish.

Right. Important conversation later, fashion reasons later. "I already know who you two are, Riku and Ranma Saotome, but how I do would sound unbelievable to you without proof and I'm not really able to provide them at the moment. But rest assured I am too a victim of an unexpected occurrence." I explained. "Just to confirm if is this is indeed a recurring theme: did you also found yourself here after peacefully dying of old age, back in the body of your younger selves?"

"Peacefully my ass, it was winter and my back hurt like a motherfucker." Ranma grumbled, making me raise both eyebrows in response. "What? The method to live as long as the old bat and the old pervert did would have turned me into a midget like them, so I refused to go through with it. I had my dignity, you know?"

More like narcissism, but I was expecting as such from Ranma Saotome: 'Jerk with an Heart of Gold' was a trope made for him, even if every now and then he needed a good walloping to put him back on the right track. I wondered how reaching adulthood and then old age changed him.

"...Yes, I ended here after dying of old age. That's all I will say about the matter." Riku said with a tone that suggested he considered the matter closed. "I suppose this is not the afterlife? Because I don't see Hades anywhere, and I know that hot-head would not miss the chance to brag despite being unable to do anything else."

That's right, Hades from Kingdom Hearts was the Lord of the Dead and ruler of the Greek Underworld. Him being able to meet and talk with the souls of dead people made sense, and so was him being able to travel to different afterlives, although I supposed his strength outside of his own realm was limited.

"No. Well, I hope it's not the afterlife." I shook my head. "It's just an hypothesis for now, but this place seems to be an inner world inside my soul. I'm the only one that didn't arrive here after dying, though I must point out I have absolutelyno ideahow I ended here. I actually woke up a few hours ago in the younger body of one of the other people present... Uuh I know that sounds bad but I didn't do it intentionally. We talked and came to an understanding! He's alright with it, honest!" I looked down in embarrassment, one hand rubbing the top of my head. "Uhm... We think this is the result of a time or dimensional travel mishap...?"

"Mmmh..." Ranma was rubbing his chin. "I met my fair share of body-snatching spirits in the past and you don't give off the same feeling as them, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, Lee-san. Just don't start kidnapping people or suddenly pulling out marriage contracts, alright?"

Both Riku and Tsuna blinked. "Marriage contracts?"

The martial artist shrugged. "Pops was a bastard."

"Aah." Tsuna nodded in understanding. How was the relation between him and his father, Iemitsu? I didn't remember that part very well.

"Once again I'm surrounded by the crazy and the absurd." Riku massaged the space between his eyebrows. Just what happened during the time he disappeared along Sora? "Fine, I'll also give you the benefit of the doubt for now. My Keyblade is picking up some strange stuff, and I need to see more to make sense of it."

"What kind of...strange stuff?" I asked, but all I got in return was silence. Guess he had not completely warmed up to us, which was understandable. Still: I was not Sora or Kairi, but I was confident that, given time, I could gain some trust from Riku.

"So, what now?" Ranma questioned, one hand in his pocket and the other hanging freely. "In case you haven't noticed we weren't the only ones fighting." He jabbed a thumb towards the other two battles. "Those guys are intense: anything we need to know about?"

"Those flying are demons. Well, a demon and a devil." I specified. "The other two are a ninja and an assassin. Oh, but they're all good guys ar heart... If you look deep enough. The only exception is the giant pervert: you can see it immediately if you just ignore his passionate speeches about boobs."

There was absolute silence (beside the distant sounds of fighting) for a few seconds before both Riku and Ranma facepalmed. "This is painfully familiar."

"Same here."

* * *

After that I took the time to introduce Riku and Ranma to the others before approaching what I judged to be the most difficult task ahead.

Persuading Sasuke Uchiha and Killua Zoldyck to be reasonable people and listen to common sense.

Alright, so maybe I was blowing it out of proportion: they weren't the fanon versions of themselves (God I hoped they weren't), and surely not two-dimensional characters, otherwise I would hear a long-winded speech about revenge and hate and... well, and everything else that makes the Naruto fandom such a shithole with just a few hidden gems.

Yes I had bad experiences with shitty Naruto fanfics. Sue me.

Thing is, I knew very well both of them were taught how to kill and fight to the death since a young age. Killua started hating killing, especially after meeting Gon, but he never hesitated doing it if he thought it was necessary. In Sasuke's case, I guessed he reminded Killua too much of a fellow assassin so all it would take were a few badly chosen words to start hostilities. Same with Sasuke, who most likely thought Killua was a fellow ninja.

Which left me with the monumental task of de-escalating things and persuading the two paranoid boys their logical suspicions and suppositions were wrong.

Yay. Ganbatte me, you can do it.

"Having doubts?" Tsuna asked with an understanding tone, to which I could only answer with an awkward nod. Nonetheless the kind smile on his lips and his following words managed to put me more at ease. "Among us you're the one with the best chances to do it, and we'll be right beside you to help in any way we can."

Ah, so it was true: the Sky envelops and accepts everything. I didn't know what I would doto be able to do the same.

BA-THUMP

I stiffened, a gesture that was imitated by the other six guys. "You too?"

"A second heartbeat? Yes." Tsuna tapped his chest with an intrigued expression. "Mister Riku, if I understood it right you're an expert of Hearts. Is there anything you would like to share?"

The silver-haired boy was silent, switching his gaze between his chest and the Keyblade in his hand. Then, finally, he spoke. "Our Hearts. The Hearts of everyone here and even those four other jokers... they'reconnected. There should be no bond or memory tying them together, but they're linked all the same."

"For Heart, you mean the soul?" Minato asked.

"No. Where I came from a living being is composed of three parts: the Body, the Heart and the Soul." He explained. "To put it simply the Soul is the will, the Hearts the emotions and the Body the vessel to hold them. Research into it caused a lot of problems so I don't have definite answers beside what I learned during my travels, but I know our Hearts are connected in a way I only saw in close-bound friends before."

Crossing his arms he tapped a finger on his lips while giving me a penetrating look, though there was no hostility in it. "Whatever's going on here is strange but not malicious. And you seem to be the linchpin of it, Lee."

"Me?" I pointed a finger at myself in disbelief. "I know about what's going on even less than you, how can I be the cause? Alright I admit there are a few holes in my memories, but I have never been able to do something like this before. Hell, I once thought magic and other supernatural stuff was just fiction."

"I'm not saying you're the cause of this all, merely that it's centered around you." He shook his head. "But let's wait before everyone have calmed down and is on board before making theories. Time may flow differently within the soul, but if you fainted in the middle of a park there's no telling what may happen to you if we waste too much time."

Like what? Someone finding me and calling an ambulance, which ends up worrying Mikan and Rito's parents? A stray dog pissing on me?

...

"Let's get going already."

Since my first approach towards Riku and Ranma worked I thought to replicate it for Sasuke and Killua.

Except the moment I mentioned I had answers Sasuke disengaged from Killua and shot towards our group without letting me finish. There was a blur and before I knew it I had a blade made out of electricity worryingly close to my neck, while what I assumed were Shadow Clones were keeping Tsuna and the others busy. "Start talking." The Sasuke holding me at sword-point said with a voice cold enough to freeze water. "Lie to me and I'll show you immortality means nothing if you can still feel pain." As if stressing his point a few sparks jumped out of his sword and fell on my collarbone. I winced by reflex.

Except... there was no pain?

Sasuke twitched, his free hand coming up to rest on his own collarbone as if he was the one being hit. Eyes widening in surprise he jumped away while dismissing his clones, allowing me to look down at my shoulder and see there was no damage: no burnt skin, no damaged clothes, nothing.

What the hell?! Did Sasuke Uchiha just attacked me? That hurt a little, despite his flaws I actually liked Sasuke so being threatened with violence by one of my favorite anime characters was quite shocking. Alright I understood why he was so much on edge, but what kind of prick threaten the messenger waving the metaphorical white flag?

Then I remembered that Sasuke Uchihaisa prick and everything made sense. I was not Naruto, Kakashi or Sakura but suddenly I felt the urgeto smack some sense into his thick head.

"Tch, so the feeling of pain is redirected back at the attacker?" Sasuke swore under his breath, hands forming a seal as his eyes switch to the red of the Sharingan. "Then I-"

"WILL YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND LISTEN!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, surprising even myself at the strength behind my voice. "I came to help you and this is what I get? Where are your manners? Did you lose them while going all 'Lone Wanderer' through Kaguya's dimensions or do you think it's okay to be as rude as you want if you're the strongest person around? Well I have big news for you, Sasuke Uchiha!" A distant part of my mind was equally amused and befuddled by the shocked look on the ninja's face, and if he was still a child and just got caught doing something naughty be his father. "Bad boys getpunished!"

Before I could properly reflect on the consequences of my actions I summoned every memory of every Naruto Yaoi doujinshi I have ever read and, just like I did with Rito,willed the whole lot of them to go into Sasuke's mind!

I'm a horrible person and yet I had no regrets~!

Sasuke's face shifted through a multitude of expressions, many of which I never saw before, faster than the speed of sound as the color of his skin turned first deadly pale, then purple and finally green. The incredible spectacle came to an end when he slapped both hands over his mouth and jumped behind a broken pillar, which was followed by loud sounds of retching.

I really, really had no regrets~!

"Wow." Ranma commented. "What did you do to him?"

"Filled his head with yaoi doujinshi starring him." My grin widened when the others all winced at the same time.

"That was evil. Like, really evil. I approve." Killua commented as he finally approached us, having so far watched the whole thing from a distance. "So, I assume you want to gather everyone present in order to search together for the cause of our current predicament?"

"Pretty much, yeah." I nodded. "And before you ask: no, I don't think this is the afterlife."

"Given I expected to burn in Hell for eternity after kicking the bucket I'm not complaining." Killua shrugged before perking up. "You wouldn't happen to have chocolate or some other sweet, do you?"

"Sorry, no."

"Damn. So this may be Hell after all."

Right, Killua had a massive sweet tooth. And also some kind of gambling problem... I thought so at least: it happened only once to my knowledge, I don't have eidetic memory.

"Have you peasants finished doing peasant things?!" A loud, boatful voice exclaimed from above. Looking up I saw Laharl was hovering above us, both ends of his scarf working as wings. Beside that he looked exactly like he did in Hour of Darkness, and in his right hand he was holding... was that the Yoshitsuna?! Holy shit! That was endgame equipment!

"Actually we were planning to approach you after getting those two onboard." Tsuna explained. A glance to the side revealed Issei hasn't moved, though I could felt his gaze on us. "But it seems our intervention is not necessary anymore."

"I got tired of waiting! If the plot would not come to the great Laharl, then I have no choice but to go there myself and beat it half to death as punishment for showing disrespect! Ahahahahaha!!" The young Overlord laughed after declaring something in the unreasonable logic only an ego as big as the moon could follow.

"Right, the plot." I slapped a hand on my face. I kind of forgot Disgaea characters don't just break the fourth wall, they perform parkour all over it. "Laharl, do you mind fetching the red armored guy you were fighting until now? We'll do the same with the last dude and then gather everyone together so we can share what we know."

"Nobody can order me, the Overlord, around!" He declared imperiously, crossing his arms as the Yoshitsuna vanished into motes of light. "However, just this once I'll be magnanimous and offer you an helping hand. Don't expect this to be a regular thing!" He warned before flying towards Issei."

"That guy thinks too highly of himself for my tastes." Ranma commented.

"What was that expression...? Ah, right." Riku tilted his head towards Ranma. "The pot calling the kettle back."

"Hey! I resent that! I'll have you know each and every one of my boasts is fully justified!"

I had the feeling I would have to get used to those guys butting heads on a daily basis. It couldn't be helped I supposed, their personalities were just too strong to do otherwise.

Together with Tsuna and Killua, who has decided to tag along on his own accord, I approached the place where Sasuke was still puking, though by that point it was mostly dry heaving. "You... You're a sick monster..." He gasped when he saw us.

"You know, that's funny coming from you." I raised an eyebrow. "In case you're wondering I didn't make those comics, I just read them: I don't have that much imagination." Nor could I draw like a professional manga artist, but that was beside the point. "And it's not even all the material I have-"

"No. Just, just no." What was showing up on Sasuke's face was less a grimace and more a rictus of unending, mind-scarring horror. "I'll listen to what you have to say if you promise to never do that again."

"Mmh... Alright then: you have a deal!" I grinned, already planning a few ways to bypass that promise, and extended a hand. "Name's Lee."

He looked me up and down, silently mouthing something about 'eyebrows' before reluctantly taking my hand. "Sasuke Uchiha, but you already know it."

I was shaking hands with Sasuke Uchiha! Weeee!!!

"Before we begin let me ask something!" Issei began once we were all gathered together. He was wearing the Kuoh school uniform, Boosted Gear encasing his left hand. There were also tears around his eyes, though I couldn't fathom why. "What did I do to deserve going to Hell?!" A small pause. "Beside being a Devil, I mean?"

I blinked in confusion. "Why do you think this is Hell?"

"Are you kidding me? Have you looked around?" He waved his arms. "There are nothing but dudes in this place, without even a single chick in sight! What can this be but Hell?"

...Why was I not surprised? I stared at Issei for a few seconds, making sure to express my current thoughts on the matter with an appropriately blank look, before facepalming.

"Let me guess." Ranma pointed a thumb at Issei while looking at me. "Is he a moron?"

"More like an idiot." Killua added.

"Hey! My reasoning is perfectly valid!"

"In which universe? Because it's sure as heck not this one."

"Look, can we just calm down for a moment? Arguing will get us nowhere." I sighed before trying to appear as serious as I could. "So, to recap: all of you ended up here after dying of old age. The only exception is me, which initially woke up in the body of Rito-" I pointed at the brown-haired boy, who nodded. "-Without any explanation or memory to explain it. Not only that, I currently am in the past of his world, though it could also be an alternate dimension. We all came from different worlds. All of you are considered fictional characters in my world, and in some of the other worlds too. This is explained by the multiverse theory, which infers everything that can possibly happen does so somewhere. If you don't fully get it think of it as a series of bizarre and improbable coincidences happening for real."

"That's dumb. This is obviously a multicrossover story." Laharl declared before holding out an open palm. "You're clearly incompetent, so hand over the role of Protagonist to me! I'll make a much better use out of it than you!"

"...And what make you think I'm the protagonist?" Riku did say I was the linchpin of everything, but to say I was the protagonist was a bit of a stretch. And beside, if this really followed the most common tropes where was my MC-tier special ability, uh?

"Simple!" He pointed a finger at me. "Your special ability!"

...

... "Come again?"

"What, don't you even know how to access your Status Screen? Be grateful: I, the great Laharl, will show you how! Ahahahahaha!!" After laughing again Laharl raised a hand, grabbing something and flipping it around.

And just like that I could see a translucent blue screen in front of me.

**[Name: Lee**

**Title: In The Shadows Of Giants I Walk**

**Level: [REDACTED]**

**Skills:**

**[Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria]** Through #%%%%% and the intercession of #$()#*$#%#% you have awakened a power that surpass fantasy itself.

...Uh.


	3. Stat Screen

**Name: Lee**

**Title: In The Shadows Of Giants I Walk**

**Level: [REDACTED]**

**Current World: To Love-Ru**

**Current Avatar: Rito Yuuki**

**Stats:**

**[REDACTED]**

Description: A normal dude like you can find anywhere. A number in a statistic nobody read. That changed when he awakened a power that surpass fantasy itself: [Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria]. What a lucky son of a bitch!

-0-

**Skills:**

**[Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria]**Through #%%%%% and the intercession of #$()#*$#%#% you have awakened a power that surpass fantasy itself.

Description: Why you're in the situation you're in and the reason you're reading this. Basically, the thing that makes this whole shebang possible.

**[Decavirate]**There are ten guys now living in your head. Some are pleasant, others are assholes. They can also see, hear and feel everything you do, so I hope you have an exhibitionism fetish!

Description: Don't worry, there are also advantages. Here's the current list:

You retain control of your Avatar at all times. The Avatar's original owner can take control of it in your place, but he must have your permission first. So try to get along with everyone, m'kay?

You can use the skills of the people in your head as if they were your own, even if it shouldn't possible for you to do so. Doing so also causes you to draw on some of the original owner's character traits, so be careful to not channel too many people at once or you'll feel very embarrassed afterwards.

You and the people in your head can share memories. Yes, that include your respective incredibly large porn collections. You filthy degenerates.

**[Additional Feature: Kage Bushin no Jutsu**: When making Shadow Clones the people in your head can take over them, allowing them to temporarily exist while disconnected from you. They still pop into smoke if struck hard enough, though.

**[Additional Feature: Henge no Jutsu]** When using the Transformation Technique you can turn into any of the people in your head. It's not just an illusion, but a real body transformation. Because fuck biology, amirite?

**[Trono Di Anima Leggendaria]**Within your soul is an inner world where the people in your head reside, and which you can visit when unconscious.

Description: All damage of any type heal almost immediately, making dying or maiming an impossibility. When someone hurt you the pain you should feel from it is instead transferred to your attacker, with the others simultaneously experiencing an uncomfortable feeling. This feature can be turned off if you want to engage in slapstick comedy, I won't judge.

**[Torre Di Paradiso]**Even more potential lies within yourself, but you must prove yourself worthy of it. Find the Tower of Paradise and climb it, but remember: solitude will spell your doom.

Description: Gamers have quests. You have a dungeon in your soul. Go figure.

-0-

**Subskills:**

**[Doorway To Infinity]**Within your inner world are doors that lead to other universes. To open them you must use a Keyblade. This skill cannot be accessed if Riku isn't present within your inner world. I hope you like cliffhangers, because I'm not telling you more until you actually try it.

**[Save And Reload] **The above statement is a lie. Tied to **[Doorway To Infinity]**, this skill rewinds time when entering a new universe, allowing you to start from a point in the past of your choice. It's like replaying a save file on a visual novel, except every universe you visit is an alternate version of the original one and will vary in some major/minor way.. This skill cannot be accessed if Rin Tsuchimi is not present within your inner world.

**[There Are No Brakes On The Fourth Wall Train] **The presence of Laharl allows you to view your status and abilities as if you were a character in a videogame. What kind of videogame you may ask? Boys, isn't that a very important question?!

**[Heart Is An Awesome Power] **The presence of Riku and his Keyblade helps tie everyone's hearts with their past and future versions. Thanks to it you'll already feel familiar and close to people from the start. Once unlocked Social Links must still be raised the old-fashioned way. No pain no gain!

-0-

**Info / Stats:**

Description: Sorry chap, this isn't that kind of game. If you want to see hard numbers and meaningful percentages go read the work of Sung Sang-Young or visit Spacebattles.

**Info / Level:**

Description: Same as above. Power levels is a silly concept anyway.

**Info / Title:**

**[In The Shadows Of Giants I Walk]** The title granted to those who haven't accomplished anything noteworthy, yet can now access the abilities of people that boast great deeds to their names.

**Info / World:**

Description: The world you're currently in, or better yet an alternate version of it. Sometimes the differences are minor, like the color of a pair of socks. Other times they are major, like the number of moons in the sky or who your mother is. And guess what? It's completely random!

**Info / Avatar:**

Description: The body you're currently inhabiting, which once belonged to one of the people in your head. When visiting your inner world and other dimensions you'll instead look like your Mabinogi character. That says something about your self-perception, uh?

**Info / Decavirate:**

Description: Down below is a list of the people currently living in your head and the skillsets they grant you.

**[Rito Yuuki]** Protagonist of "To Love-Ru". A failed Memetic Sex God with a deep knowledge of intergalactic bureaucracy. Grant increased lewd powers and abilities, the nature of which is mostly based around manipulation of probabilities.

**[Sasuke Uchiha]** Deuteragonist of "Naruto". Once a brooding edgelord who edged so hard he was edging the edge. He didn't change much while growing up. Grant the use of Chakra, Shinobi techniques and the Sharingan.

**[Riku]** Deuteragonist of "Kingdom Hearts". He was once lead astray, but thanks to his best friend he wisened up and became a reliable individual. There's still some stick left within his ass, though. Grant access to the Keyblade, Kingdom Heart magic and the ability to travel through worlds.

**[Laharl]** Protagonist of "Disgaea: Hour Of Darkness" and "Disgaea D2: A Brighter Darkness". An arrogant and self-centered demon of incredible power, and a rare example of male tsundere. Weak to large boobs. Grant access to Overlord Skills and the zany features of Disgaea.

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada]** Protagonist of "Katekyo Hitman Reborn". Once a pathetic waste of skin, a truly sadistic mentor shaped him into a strong-willed and charismatic criminal. Grant access to Dying Will Flames and the Vongola's Hyper Intuition.

**[Issei Hyodou]** Protagonist of "Highschool: DxD". A pervert that sacrificed the brain cells dedicated to intelligence in order to be able to experience even more perviness, thus turning into an idiot savant of perversion. Extremely addicted to large boobs. Grant Devil magic and Boosted Gear.

**[Ranma Saotome]** Protagonist of "Ranma 1/2". A martial artist who is a bit of a jerk and has a large ego. While he frequently put his own foot into his mouth, he's not truly evil and will sacrifice himself to protect others without hesitation. Due to a magic curse he was once half man and half woman, an experience that taught him the ins and outs of the female body. Grant access to very bizarre but effective Martial Arts.

**[Minato Sahashi]** Protagonist of "Sekirei". He has a genius-level intellect, but his inability to handle pressure often causes him to fail. Very knowledgeable about the correct ways to handle a harem. Grant access to Sekirei DNA and "Ashikabi" status.

**[Killua Zoldyck]** One of the Main Characters of "Hunter X Hunter". While he was born in a family of notorious assassins and demonstrated incredible talent in the family's trade, he soon grew tired of killing and chose to forge his own path in life. He still remains incredibly ruthless and deadly, so provoke at your own peril. Can be easily bribed with sweets. Grant access to Nen and the Zoldyck's family techniques.

**[Rin Tsuchimi]** Protagonist of "Shuffle!". A normal boy whose kindness is both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. He eventually got a little better, though it left behind a very embarrassing past. Grant the ability to rewind time by switching to alternate dimensions, though it can be used only under specific conditions.


	4. Revelations - Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

There was a status screen in front of me. A status screen with my name and a picture of my Mabinogi character above it: design-wise the whole thing was a mix between the status screen of Disgaea 4 and Disgaea D2, though it was more minimalist than either of them. Right now, apart from my name and picture, it only showed aTitleinstead of aClass, aLevelbut for some reason it was hidden, and aSkillwith a very cool-sounding name and an equally cool description.

They also were vague enough that I had no idea what this Skill was supposed to do.

"[Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria]. It's Italian, and translates into 'Legendary Soul's Utopia'." Tsuna informed me after moving closer to look at the screen.

"You know Italian? Duh, of course you know it." I slapped a palm over my forehead once I realized how dumb my question was. Katekyo Hitman Reborn, following its 'mafia' theme, was a manga full of Italian terms and references to Italian culture: it was only natural Tsuna, after becoming the Vongola Boss, would eventually learn the language. He probably also knew English and a few other languages, Hyper Intuition would surely be helpful even for that.

So. It appeared there was some weight to Laharl's claim I was the protagonist in...whateverthis was. Still, by the look of things the whole situation was starting to look less like an incident and more like something deliberately set this way.

Then I noticed Laharl was silent, an eyebrow raised and fingers of one hand tapping impatiently as he stared at me. What was he-oh. "Thank you, Laharl, for teaching me how to access my Status Screen." The demon grinned smugly at my words, clearly pleased with his actions.

Peering close at the status screen I saw, on the top right, two arrows: one was greyed out and pointing left, while the other was white and pointing right. I was willing to bet everything they were used to switch between pages and display more of the info contained within the status screen.

"Everyone, it looks like there are more pages." I informed the others. "I'm going to scroll through them see if they contain some useful info."

I waited for everyone to move behind me, so they could see the screen too, and then tried to press the right-pointing arrow with the tip of one finger. I briefly felt something, like the button of a joystick, and then the screen changed.

**Name: Lee**

**Title: In The Shadows Of Giants I Walk**

**Level: [REDACTED]**

**Current World: To Love-Ru**

**Current Avatar: Rito Yuuki**

**Stats:**

**[REDACTED]**

Description: A normal dude like you can find anywhere. A number in a statistic nobody read. That changed when he awakened a power that surpass fantasy itself: **[Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria]**. What a lucky son of a bitch!

...I suddenly felt slightly annoyed, and I knew perfectly why: it's true I was nothing special before coming here, but the way the description worded it was almost deliberately insulting. And why where my stats hidden just like my level?

I tapped the right-pointing arrow again.

**Skills:**

**[Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria]** Through #%%%%% and the intercession of #$()#*$#%#% you have awakened a power that surpass fantasy itself.

Description: Why you're in the situation you're in and the reason you're reading this. Basically, the thing that makes this whole shebang possible.

"Well, that's as useful as saying the sky is blue." Ranma snorted.

"Not necessarily." Minato slowly rubbed his chin. "We now know there are at least two factors behind Lee's awakening of this ability, and from that 'intercession of' one of them is external. So the first may be something he had all along, a special quality or maybe just a particular dream, while the second may have used the first as a foundation."

He was right. Maybe a bored ROB decided to grant one of my hidden desires? Because it has always been a wish of mine to live in the shoes of my favorite fictional characters. And to meet them too, which would explain why they were here with me. I really hoped it was the benevolent kind of ROB.

**[Decavirate]** There are ten guys now living in your head. Some are pleasant, others are assholes. They can also see, hear and feel everything you do, so I hope you have an exibistionism fetish!

Then again, if ROB was the one to write those texts he/she/it was clearly gaining a perverse pleasure from making fun of me so I may be wrong. I tried to ignore the possibility of those being messages from my subconscious, there was no way dwelling on that could foster healthy thoughts.

Description: Don't worry, there are also advantages. Here's the current list:

Finally some good news. I already had some suspicions from my interaction with Rito, but it was time to shed some light on this mystery.

You retain control of your Avatar at all times. The Avatar's original owner can take control of it in your place, but he must have your permission first. So try to get along with everyone, m'kay?

You can use the skills of the people in your head as if they were your own, even if it shouldn't possible for you to do so. Doing so also causes you to draw on some of the original owner's character traits, so be careful to not channel too many people at once or you'll feel very embarrassed afterwards.

I stared hard at the second entry, breath caught up in my throat. I already expected the first one since Rito mentioned he felt like he needed my permission to move our body in my place, but the second one... I could access the powers ofeveryone? I really had a MC-tier special ability! The implications were astounding, and it caused me to break out into a shit-eating grin. "Sorry Laharl, but if what you said is true then I obviously fit perfectly as the protagonist." I told the Overlord as I turned around to face the others, arms akimbo and legs spread apart to show my newfound confidence. "Way more than anyone here, especially you... Well Issei could be a candidate but he has his own issues."

"Oh?" He crossed his arms over his chest, a frown on his face as he stared right back at me. Despite how intimidating his aura was I could tell he was more interesting in hearing an actual explanation than to use violence in case I didn't agree with him, showing more maturity than his canon appearances. "Pray tell why I, the great Laharl, wouldn't cut it as the protagonist of this story!?"

"Because..." I began before pointing a thumb at myself. "If this is a story with me in it then it's obviously a smut, NSFW one. After all no matter what world I end in I'm earning me some waifu's and there's no publisher that can hold me back. So this is 100% a forum or fanfiction smut story starring me!"

I was answered with complete silence, the others staring at me with a myriad of different expressions.

Except for Issei, who stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder. "Boy. You are wise beyond your years." He told me with a kind, understanding smile.

Thank you Issei-sempai! If I ever went to Highschool DxD there was no way I was going to follow the stations of canon, but I swore I would do the title of Harem King proud!

"That's not wisdom, that's puberty." Killua remarked with a dry tone.

Laharl seemed to mull over my words a bit more before suddenly turning angry, his hair antenna shooting straight up. "The great Laharl is within a story with 18 content?! When I get my hands on the writers they'll pay for this!"

"Can we tone down the meta jokes for the moment?" Rin asked with a polite and reasonable-sounding tone. I was pretty sure he was nursing the beginning of an headache. "It would be better to consider the implicationsafterwe finish reading the whole thing."

"Yeah." Sasuke nodded. "It's incredible how much time can be lost when talking about women and romance. Especially when it's meaningless babble that doesn't lead anywhere."

""Don't I know it."" Rito, Ranma and Minato said at the same time.

"Oh come on! I'm young! I'm allowed to have guilty pleasures." You threw your arms in the air, though the annoyance in your voice was mostly fake. "Fine, let's continue reading..."

You and the people in your head can share memories. Yes, that include your respective incredibly large porn collections. You filthy degenerates.

"I DON'T HAVE AN INCREDIBLY LARGE PORN COLLECTION!" Everyone but Issei shouted.

I was lying my ass off, of course.

"Idohave an incredibly large porn collection." Issei stated with pride. "Though it's entirely made up of material I recorded with my wifes, so there's no way in hell I'm going to share it with you bastards!"

"Don't want it." Killua said with an even dryer tone than before. Beside him Tsuna looked slightly embarrassed at his earlier outburst, Sasuke and Riku were facepalming and Laharl was still angrily muttering about devs and violence.

I was probably enjoying those reactions more than I should, but what the hell they were too funny.

**[Additional Feature: Kage Bushin no Jutsu]**: When making Shadow Clones the people in your head can take over them, allowing them to temporarily exist while disconnected from you. They still pop into smoke if struck hard enough, though.

**[Additional Feature: Henge no Jutsu]** When using the Transformation Technique you can turn into any of the people in your head. It's not just an illusion, but a real body transformation. Because fuck biology, amirite?

"That's not how Henge works. Except..." Sasuke muttered before looking away and sighing. "Thedobe."

I raised an eyebrow. "You still call each othertemeanddobe?" Some things just stayed the same no matter what. "And what do you mean with the last part?"

The ninja grunted. "I assume you know how Shadow Clones are made entirely of Chakra? It was eventually discovered that it makes their bodies more...malleablethan flesh and blood. So every time Naruto's Clones used the Henge they did more than just weave an illusion around themselves, they made alterations to their very own structure." He snorted with palpable amusement. "Of course, that was only because he had no idea how the Henge isreallysupposed to work, and nobody bothered to correct him until much later."

I snapped my fingers. "The battle against Zabuza! Naruto turned one of his clones into a Fuma Shuriken!"

"That's right."

"But how come Kakashi didn't notice?"

"'Cause Kakashi, duh."

That... made way too much sense. Shaking my head at the inconsistencies of canon I turned back to the status screen. I had reached the end of the text explaining [Decavirate, it was time to see what else I had.

**[Trono Di Anima Leggendaria]** Within your soul is an inner world where the people in your head reside, and which you can visit when unconscious.

Description: All damage of any type heal almost immediately, making dying or maiming an impossibility. When someone hurt you the pain you should feel from it is instead transferred to your attacker, with the others simultaneously experiencing an uncomfortable feeling. This feature can be turned off if you want to engage in slapstick comedy, I won't judge.

Someone told me they would judge alright. In fact, I didn't even see a reason to engage in slapstick comedy: that stuff was funny when viewed from outside, but even with the assurance there was no serious risk I wasn't so keen on getting kicked through a wall or being hit over the head by a giant mallet.

**[Torre Di Paradiso]** Even more potential lies within yourself, but you must prove yourself worthy of it. Find the Tower of Paradise and climb it, but remember: solitude will spell your doom.

Description: Gamers have quests. You have a dungeon in your soul. Go figure.

And that was the last entry on the Skills page.

"I don't see a tower anywhere nearby." Rito commented while looking around. "Then again, the text says to find it so..."

"Since this is an inner world space and time are relative concepts." Tsuna mused. "The entrance may be one of the doors we see in the distance. I am not exactly sure what the 'potential' the description speaks of is, but that warning is clear: Lee is not supposed to explore the tower alone." He looked at me. "Since this may take a while we'll try to find the entrance while you go through your daily life."

"Got it. Thank you Tsuna." I nodded before pressing the right-pointing arrow again, and I was rewarded with theSubskillspage.

**Subskills:**

**[Doorway To Infinity]** Within your inner world are doors that lead to other universes. To open them you must use a Keyblade. This skill cannot be accessed if Riku isn't present within your inner world. I hope you like cliffhangers, because I'm not telling you more until you actually try it.

**[Save And Reload]** The above statement is a lie. Tied to [Doorway To Infinity, this skill rewinds time when entering a new universe, allowing you to start from a point in the past of your choice. It's like replaying a save file on a visual novel, except every universe you visit is an alternate version of the original one and will vary in some major/minor way. This skill cannot be accessed if Rin Tsuchimi is not present within your inner world.

This confirmed it, the game was a troll. Shaking my head in annoyance I thought about what I just read: the first skill made sense, traveling through different worlds was one of the Keyblade's primary functions, and it explained the giant doors that could be seen on the walls. While the second... I have played Shuffle! multiple times, and I couldn't remember even a single instance of Rin displaying a supernatural power, let alone one that let him rewind time. What was going on here?

Unless... could it be...?

"I would like to say I have no idea why my presence is required to use a skill to rewind time." The black-haired boy raised a hand. "In case you wanted to ask questions."

"I... I think I may know why." It was a very meta explanation, but it fit with the theme going so far. "Do you remember how I said all of you were fictional characters in my world? In your case Rin, you were the protagonist of a visual novel. And since when you play one you can create save files and reload them whenever you want..."

"Oh." He said, an unreadable expression on his face. "I... Honestly, I feel like the victim of a cosmic joke. What kind of visual novel I was the protagonist of?"

"..." I tapped my fingers together, suddenly aware that everyone was staring at us with various degrees of interest. "Weeeell, there were multiple versions but basically... an eroge."

"Oh God." He slapped a hand over his face. "I'm an harem protagonist. Kill me now."

"You're already dead." Ranma answered with his usual tact. Which is to say, none at all.

"Dude, what are you complaining about?" Issei smiled brightly while raising a thumb-up. "Harems are great! Every true man should aim to get himself a harem! Except for pretty boys: those bastards need to die and stop hoarding all the pretty girls for themselves, leaving nothing for us poor, not blessed average guys!"

Issei, please stop talking. I like you, but you can be really obnoxious at times.

"Shup up peon." As fast as lightning Laharl took out the Yoshitsuna and slammed the flat of the blade on Issei's head. "Every time you speak it lowers the quality of this story."

"Issei, I also feel the need to point out your hate for pretty boys is unfounded." I added. "Come on, you must be aware most harem protagonists are losers or average-looking Joe's that for whatever reason hit above their station and get a group of, on average, ten out of ten girls chasing after them." Mostly because it was easier for the majority of the potential readers to identify with the characters, and that saidsomethingabout Japan. "Plus, most pretty boys nowadays in anime sadly are yaoi bait or even traps, which makes them male waifus."

The brown-haired boy quickly moved backwards with an horrified gaze."There is no such thing as amalewaifu!"

"Why not? Personally speaking here, but if a guy was girly enough and interested I wouldn't mind-"

"LA LA LA LA!" Issei covered his ears and turned away. "I AM NOT HEARING THIS HERESY! LA LA LA LA!!!"

"Can we just ignore the horny moron and continue reading?" Riku asked with a tone that implied itwasn'ta question.

**[There Are No Brakes On The Fourth Wall Train]** The presence of Laharl allows you to view your status and abilities as if you were a character in a videogame. What kind of videogame you may ask? Boys, isn't that a very important question?!

**[Heart Is An Awesome Power]** The presence of Riku and his Keyblade helps tie everyone's hearts with their past and future versions. Thanks to it you'll already feel familiar and close to people from the start. Once unlocked Social Links must still be raised the old-fashioned way. No pain no gain!

"So I can unlock Social Links eventually." I mused. Social Links usually mean the Persona games, since that's where they first originated from, but I could worry about it later. Right then I was most interested in the last page of the character sheet, which was titledInfo.

And would you look at that? Info was exactly what I needed.

**Info / Stats:**

Description: Sorry chap, this isn't that kind of game. If you want to see hard numbers and meaningful percentages go read the work of Sung Sang-Young or visit Spacebattles.

"Who is this Sung Sang-Young? Sounds Korean." Ranma asked.

"From South Korea, yes." I nodded. "He's mostly famous for a webtoon called 'The Gamer', where the protagonist acquires the ability to experience the world like a videogame character and evolve the same way. It's very good, so it gave birth to a trend where protagonists of fanfics and quests, many of which can be found on Spacebattles, acquire the same ability."

Laharl was looking very unimpressed. "When was this webtoon first published?"

"Uhm..." I searched through my brain. "I think it was in... 2013?"

The Demon scoffed before grinning viciously, as if he just won a race after beating to a bloody pulp the other participants. "Pathetic! My own game addressed that set-up way back in 2003! This Sing Song Young is nothing but a talentless hack!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me, can you gain stat points or new skills without levelling up first?"

"What kind of madness is this?!" He howled.

"We're going to be here all day..." Tsuna muttered under his breath with a resigned sigh.

After making sure the very powerful (and highly short-tempered) Demon wasn't going to fly into a berserker rage I continued to read the Info page.

**Info / Level:**

Description: Same as above. Power levels is a silly concept anyway.

I respectfully disagreed. But it told me that this system, however it worked, didn't use numbers to measure stuff like my strength and intelligence. Maybe because the others came from vastly different worlds? The original ability of Han Ji-Han may have folded all their skills under a single system, but the one I had was obviously not it.

Rin, Minato and Rito were normal people like me, only capable of feats strictly within human boundaries. The others... well it was a bit difficult to guess the exact extent of their power, especially after they had decades to refine their skills, but all of them were incredibly powerful, though not in the same way.

Food for thought. Especially since now I could channel those very same skills myself, and I knew a day would come when I would need to do it.

**Info / Title:**

**[In The Shadows Of Giants I Walk]** The title granted to those who haven't accomplished anything noteworthy, yet can now access the abilities of people that boast great deeds to their names.

Even my title reflected that, uh? Still, they say you either walk in the shadows of giants or stand on their shoulders. And the only way for me to change that...

...Was to climb as hard as I can.

**Info / World:**

Description: The world you're currently in, or better yet an alternate version of it. Sometimes the differences are minor, like the color of a pair of socks. Other times they are major, like the number of moons in the sky or who your mother is. And guess what? It's completely random!

That wasn't reassuring at all! What was I going to do if the difference from canon was something ridiculous? Could I even trust my knowledge of future events or was it more wise to just discard it altogether?

"So it's confirmed we're in a parallel world." Rito observed. "It means there's no risk of fucking up the past and changing the future. That's a relief."

"Time travel is notoriously complicated and prone to give headaches." Tsuna added. Now that I thought about it him and Riku were the only ones here with any direct experience concerning time travel. "Though, it is my understanding that parallel worlds can be just as tricky."

Byakuran. Of course he was talking about Byakuran. I wanted to ask Tsuna about him but I had the feeling it wasn't a topic to be addressed so casually. Later then, after I discover how to get some privacy in this world.

**Info / Avatar:**

Description: The body you're currently inhabiting, which once belonged to one of the people in your head. When visiting your inner world and other dimensions you'll instead look like your Mabinogi character. That says something about your self-perception, uh?

Oh look, the stealthy insults were back. I missed them.

"You play Mabinogi too Lee?" Rito asked.

"Yeah-wait." I turned to him with an hopeful gaze. "It exists in your world too?"

"It will be in an year. And guess what?" He grinned while making a thumb-up. "I know Koreanandhow to get an account in the original servers."

Wooo! Fuck yeah! Top of the ranking here I come!

Uh oh, the others were looking at us strangely.

**Info / Decavirate:**

Description: Down below is a list of the people currently living in your head and the skillsets they grant you.

**[Rito Yuuki]** Protagonist of "**To Love-Ru**". A failed Memetic Sex God with a deep knowledge of intergalactic bureaucracy. Grant increased lewd powers and abilities, the nature of which is mostly based around manipulation of probabilities.

Rito's pleased expression morphed into one of incredulous shock once we got to his entry. "Failed Sex God?!What the heck is this! Forget about the failed part, I have never been a sex god! And I definitely don't have lewd powers!"

"Well, there is the fact you kept accidentally groping girls, or strip them of their clothes." I remarked, causing Rito to fold as if someone punched him in the guts. "And the fact that when you slept next to a girl you always molested her without even waking up." He staggered backward. "I mean, there is a reason you're known astheLucky Pervert for excellence. Is it so absurd to think your suppressed libido can affect luck when properly stimulated?"

After I finished talking I realized Rito moved to kneel down, back facing us and an aura of depression covering him. Oops, I may have went overboard with the teasing.

"I understand your pain." Issei knelt next to Rito and patted his shoulder in an understanding manner. "To be able to touch a girl's breasts and failing to enjoy it because you're asleep? Truly the height of misfortune."

"Go away..." Rito pleaded miserably.

"Come on now Rito, there's no reason to be depressed. It's all in the past now." I said while trying to suppress my laughter. "Let's continue reading, I'm sure it will manage to lift you up."

**[Sasuke Uchiha]** Deuteragonist of "**Naruto**". Once a brooding edgelord who edged so hard he was edging the edge. He didn't change much while growing up. Grant the use of Chakra, Shinobi techniques and the Sharingan.

I stared wide-eyed at Sasuke's description for a few seconds before failing to hold my laughter any longer. I was quickly imitated by Laharl, Issei, Ranma and Killua, while the others merely grinned widely.

"You know." Sasuke, who had remained mostly silent until now, commented, one of his eyebrows twitching. "I don't know what that means, but I can tell it's an insult. And I do not 'brood'!"

"'Edging' has gained quite a broad definition in popular culture, so instead of an explanation it would be faster if Lee share his memories with you." Tsuna said with a mischievous smile that honestly reminded me of Reborn. "But I can tell you another thing about 'edging'."

"Which is?"

"It's a sexual term."

The next moment a jet of black flames pierced through the translucent screen, doing nothing whatsoever to it before blasting a hole into a distant pillar.

"I'll find whoever wrote this shit." The Ninja snarled, Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan in both eyes. The black flames continued burning the rest of the pillar. "And then I'll make thempay."

"Ah ah-Geez, calm down, will you?" I tried to stop laughing, but it was not an easy feat. I really hoped it was not my subconscious who wrote those texts, I knew for certain how scary a vengeance-drive Sasuke could be. "We're -ah ah- all adults here, right?"

"You're not very convincing."

**[Riku]** Deuteragonist of "**Kingdom Hearts**". He was once lead astray, but thanks to his best friend he wisened up and became a reliable individual. There's still some stick left within his ass, though. Grant access to the Keyblade, Kingdom Heart magic and the ability to travel through worlds.

"I don't have a stick up my ass." Riku crossed his arms and looked down. "Though Idoadmit I made poor choices of words in the past, but that's all."

"You mean, you were kind of a jerk?" I asked.

He looked up at the sky and sighed. "Yes."

**[Laharl]** Protagonist of "**Disgaea: Hour Of Darkness**" and "**Disgaea D2****: A Brighter Darkness**". An arrogant and self-centered demon of incredible power, and a rare example of male tsundere. Weak to large boobs. Grant access to Overlord Skills and the zany features of Disgaea.

"Who dares to call the great Laharl a tsundere?!" The demon roared in outrage.

"How can someone be weak to large breasts?" Issei muttered in confusion. "What a sad existence…"

Truly, the one who love breasts more than anything else and the one who really don't like them at all. Why did I think they could be anything elsebuta comedic duo?

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada]** Protagonist of "**Katekyo Hitman Reborn**". Once a pathetic waste of skin, a truly sadistic mentor shaped him into a strong-willed and charismatic criminal. Grant access to Dying Will Flames and the Vongola's Hyper Intuition.

"That is perhaps the most accurate description of my life I have ever read." Tsuna chuckled quietly. "The Mafiadoesengage in criminal activities, after all. Even if I tried to tone it down after I took over the Vongola, there is no denying I have broken the law multiple times."

"Same here." Ranma shrugged. "But hey, there's crime and crime, isn't it?"

"It's not as simple as that, but I do agree with the sentiment."

**[Issei Hyodou]** Protagonist of "**Highschool: DxD**". A pervert that sacrificed the brain cells dedicated to intelligence in order to be able to experience even more perviness, thus turning into an idiot savant of perversion. Extremely addicted to large boobs. Grant Devil magic and Boosted Gear.

Issei began sputtering, while Laharl laughed. "This thing I basically saying my perversion turned me into an idiot! That's patently false!"

"I don't know." I crossed my arms. "Remember I read about your adventures, Issei, and there were more than a few times when you failed to grasp even simple concepts unless you were given an example related to boombs."

"Name one!"

"That time, during the Three Factions Conference at Kuoh, when Azazel asked you if it was better for the three factions to continue their war or to make peace." I replied immediately. "You immediately chose peace when Azazel pointed out that with a war going on you wouldn't be able to enjoy Rias' breasts."

"Sorry I'm an idiot!" He howled while leaning back, hands covering his eyes.

**[Ranma Saotome]** Protagonist of "**Ranma 1/2**". A martial artist who is a bit of a jerk and has a large ego. While he frequently put his own foot into his mouth, he's not truly evil and will sacrifice himself to protect others without hesitation. Due to a magic curse he was once half man and half woman, an experience that taught him the ins and outs of the female body. Grant access to very bizarre but effective Martial Arts.

"I DO NOT!!!" Ranma shouted as the others stared at him with various degrees of 'what the fuck' on their faces. "I mean, I am not half woman! Not anymore! It was a stupid magic curse that brought me nothing but pain, and it sure as hell didn't teach me anything about girls!"

"How did you manage to finally remove it?" I asked in honest curiosity.

"A cursebreaker from Europe. Yeah, it took us years to realize the best solution was to search for an expert of breaking curses." He put a hand over his face. "Of course, that was just the beginning."

"Everyone started throwing wrenches in each other's plans?" I guessed.

"Almost immediately. It got much, muchworseafter that."

**[Minato Sahashi]** Protagonist of "**Sekirei**". He has a genius-level intellect, but his inability to handle pressure often causes him to fail. Very knowledgeable about the correct ways to handle a harem. Grant access to Sekirei DNA and "Ashikabi" status.

"You're half-wagtail?" Rin asked to Minato.

"No, no. Nothing like that." He waved a hand in denial. "In my world Sekirei is the name given to a race of human-looking aliens. It turned out some of them arrived to Japan in the past and mingled with the population. Any ancestry link I have is very distant."

"Mh. And the harem part?"

"For now, let's just say my biological father was crazy and leave it at that."

**[Killua Zoldyck]** One of the Main Characters of "**Hunter X Hunter**". While he was born in a family of notorious assassins and demonstrated incredible talent in the family's trade, he soon grew tired of killing and chose to forge his own path in life. He still remains incredibly ruthless and deadly, so provoke at your own peril. Can be easily bribed with sweets. Grant access to Nen and the Zoldyck's family techniques.

"I amnoteasily bribed with sweets." Killua scoffed. "Seriously, I just have a sweet tooth. Is that so strange?

**[Rin Tsuchimi]** Protagonist of "**Shuffle**!". A normal boy whose kindness is both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. He eventually got a little better, though it left behind a very embarrassing past. Grant the ability to rewind time by switching to alternate dimensions, though it can be used only under specific conditions.

"We already covered the last part. For the rest, I tried too hard to make everyone around me happy and as a result made a lot of mistakes. That's about it, really." Rin sighed. "Nothing exciting."

I tried to press the right-pointing arrow again but it has turned grey. "It seems that was the end of the character sheet."

"Even if we didn't find an answer we now have plenty of hints to investigate." Tsuna pointed out. "While Lee and Rito go through their daily life we can explore this inner world. Finding this Tower of Paradise and the doors that lead to other dimensions may provide us with the answers we need. There isn't much else we can do at the moment."

"Don't worry, I'll try to come here every time I can to help you guys out." I added. "That's the least I can do. After all, I want answers too."

"One moment Lee." Killua called out. When I looked at him I saw the white-haired boy had a very serious expression on his face, one finger pointed at me while the other hand rested in his pocket. "I've more or less confirmed this is not a plot aimed to inflict harm to those I care about so I'm willing to collaborate. But there's that thing about being able to use our powers."

He crossed his arms and frowned. "I don't think I can do anything to stop you from channeling my skills. But still, I want you to promise me to not use them for evil purposes. I worked hard to overcome the stigma of being a Zoldyck: this may not be my original world, but I still care about that."

"Absolutely." I nodded sharply, determination radiating from my expression. I greatly respected Killua, there was no way I would shame the incredible gift that was given to me by discarding my moral sense like a power-drunk tyrant. "And if you need one more reassurance I'm willing to swear aVow."

"You know about those uh? Forget about it, that kind of thing is dangerous." He waved a hand in dismissal. "To earn trust you must first be willing to offer it yourself, that's one of the lessons I learned thanks to Gon. For now your promise is enough."

"I have a similar request." Ranma walked closer to us and pointed a thumb at himself. "It's a martial artist's duty to protect normal people. I'm not going to ask you to risk your life, but if you decide to use my amazing skills I insist you don't put innocents in danger."

"I will not, I swear it." Ranma may have been immature and a jerk but he never hesitated to protect those in danger, even if they were his enemies. The least I could do was to match his own resolve.

"If you can really use my Keyblade then I don't need reassurances." Riku snorted, a half-grin on his lips. He raised Braveheart and pointed it at me. "This guy is the best judge of character there is."

"If you know about my life then you must also know about the dark secrets of the Sharingan and the Uchiha Clan." Sasuke said without even looking at me. "Abuse them at your own risk and peril."

"Now don't be so melodramatic. I know the risks, don't worry." I replied with a confident grin. Then I looked at the others. "What about you?"

"I am positively not happy that someone else get to enjoy my hard-earned levels." Laharl grumbled. "However this **[Decavirate]** Skill is obviously one of this story's plot devices, so there isn't much I can do at the moment. But remember this!" He pointed one finger at me. "This is just a loan! If you want to use the great Laharl's strength then you better do it in a battle against a worthy opponent! I will not tolerate my skills being used for something beneath an Overlord's dignity!"

Oh, I knew exactlywhowas a worthy opponent for an Overlord. I wanted to become Emperor of the Galaxy, and now I had the chance to realize my wish in the way I wanted.

"I have nothing against you using my powers. Go ahead." Issei shrugged. Oi oi, wasn't that a little too much careless? "Oh, but if you can manage it I would like a cute busty maid to take care of me while I stay here." Aaand, that was the Issei I knew, guess even old age wasn't enough to calm down the Oppai Dragon.

"My Hyper Intuition already told me I can trust you." Tsuna simply said with a knowing smile.

"And we don't really have powers, even if that status screen says the contrary." Minato shook his head, Rin and Rito doing the same.

"You got it. Issei, I... will try looking out for that maid, just don't get your hopes up." I sighed before rubbing my chin. "Now that everything's sorted out, can any of you tell me how I am supposed to-" I trailed off as I feel something wet and squishy run over my face. I put a hand over it, but the phantom feeling continued. "Wait, what's going on?"

I blinked.

And then I was back in the park, my body having fallen from the bench to lay on the ground. The source of the previous feeling turned out to be a dog with a stupid expression, which was currently busy licking my face and slathering it in spit.

"GAH!"


	5. To Love-ru (1) - chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

So! After that embarrassing episode where I woke up with a stray dog licking my face, the rest of my first week in the world ofTo Love-Ruturned out really great. I was too busy losing the enthusiastic canine and finding a water faucet to wash my face to notice it at the time, but while I walked back home I realized I was very hungry and sore all over my body, even in places I didn't even know had muscles. It wasn't so bad I couldn't walk, though my growling stomach earned me more than a few amused glances, but it made me wonder what happened. At the start I thought it was a result of accessing my inner world and meeting the others, after all when I first heard their voices it was so bad I fainted so it made sense for the whole experience to have more side-effects.

That was until I went to the bathroom to take a shower and saw my upper body in the mirror after I removed my shirt.

I had muscles! And abs! Have I mentioned the abs? Because I had abs: not the famous six pack, but they were quite noticeable.

Now, to be fair to Rito he was fit for a teenage boy: he had a healthy diet courtesy of Mikan and did enough physical activity both at school during P.E. and while playing soccer with his friends. But even with all of that his body could only be described as average.

It was not the case anymore. Before entering the bath I stripped myself naked and spent a few minutes checking my body from all possible angles: I was not an expert, but I could tell my new gains didn't look disproportionate on my fifteen years old self. They were not bulging like some bodybuilders can get, nor they were perfectly defined like a Greek statue. Simply put I now looked like a teenage boy who frequently played soccer and was in the school club instead of one who just played it every now and then for fun. If not for my height and the fact I was still lean I could have been perfect jock material.

Needless to say Rito and I were both happy at the unexpected development and baffled at how it happened. Acting on a hunch I checked my Status Screen, which revealed two new entries in theSubskillslist.

**[Peak Human Status]** Unlocking new people in your head and access to their powers caused your body to change in order to better accommodate them. The bodies of your Avatars are now at the peak of what is considered physically possible for their apparent age. You can still get fat if you don't take care of your health, so cut down on those sweets chum!

**[One MP Bar Is Not Enough For Them All]** Many of the people in your head had access to a source of mystical power during their lives, and now so do you. Only some types of energy can be folded under the same category, so those who cannot be folded remain separate and can be used independently of the others. Bad things happen if you completely deplete one source of energy, so don't act like a kid on a sugar rush and please be mindful of how you use them. Here's the complete list of different energies you can access:

**Chakra**: a mix of spiritual and physical energies, using it tires both mind and body. Current attributes are the same as Sasuke Uchiha.

**Magic (Heart)**: a form of energy that originates from either the Soul or the Heart, using it tires the mind. This kind of magic exists independently of both Light and Darkness, allowing even Heartless and Nobodies to use it. Current attributes are the same as Riku.

**Magic (Demoniac)**: a form of energy that originates from the Soul, using it tires the mind. This kind of magic is used by both Demons and Devils, beings who can to give shape to their imagination, mostly in a destructive manner. Current attributes are the same as Laharl and Issei Hyodou.

**Dying Will Flames**: a high-density form of energy that is refined from the user's life-force and given specific attributes by the metaphysics of the Katekyo Hitman Reborn universe, using it tires both mind and body. Current attributes are the same as Tsunayoshi Sawada.

**Chi**: a form of power composed entirely of physical energy and harnessed through mental focus, using it tires the body. Current attributes are the same as Ranma Saotome.

**Nen**: a form of energy similar in nature to Chi, but changed by the metaphysics of the Hunter X Hunter universe to the point the two are considered separate existences. Using it tires the body. Current attributes are the same as Killua Zoldyck.

It was true, after a substantial meal and a good night's rest I felt stronger and healthier than ever, as if I was constantly on some sort of super adrenaline rush but without the side-effects. Not only that, if I closed my eyes and concentrated inwards I could feel something similar to six wellsprings of power flowing into my body and infusing it with boundless energy.

Chakra, Chi and Nen moved through coils or pathways similar to blood vessels present all over my body, while Dying Will Flames felt like a bonfire burning in the back of my mind and the two types of magic, both Heart and Demoniac, felt like lakes located near my physical heart. I was sure my condition shouldn't have been possible even with dimensional travel involved, but then again the whole situation was almost impossible to begin with.

Initially I wanted to rush in and experiment, but at the end I decided to listen to the text's warning and take things slow. After all I had plenty of time and could count on both the memories and the direct aid of the members of what I mentally termed the **[Gang]**, so there was no harm in playing it safe.

Of course, the fact the human being called Rito Yuuki had changed both mentallyandphysically was bound to attract attention sooner or later.

* * *

"Holy shit! Rito, what happened to you?!"

I finished pulling my shirt over my head before finally lowering my arms and turning to look at Kenichi, who was gaping and pointing at me in a similar half-undressed state. Along with the rest of the boys in my class, who together with me had gathered in the locker room to change into our sport uniforms in preparation for the next P.E. class.

Yep, I was right in thinking my new gains were not going to fly under the radar. Not that I wanted to hide them or anything, but it required me to provide an explanation once questions inevitably popped up. Luckily for me, Rito and I had plenty of time the day before to come up with a solution.

"You mean today in particular, or in my life in general?" I asked back while trying to not sound sarcastic, and so ended up doing that anyway.

"Not that! I mean, you have muscles! Muscles!" He frantically waved his finger. "How? Since when?"

I pulled one arm free and poked my chest with a finger while looking down on it. "Uhm, I guess they have finally started showing up. And for your other questions, that's actually simple." I put my hands akimbo and nodded in a sagely manner. "A few months ago it finally hit me that, as a high school student, my life was going to be completely different compared to before. More demanding to both my mind and body. My father doesn't know the first thing about taking care of himself and my sister is right out, so I sent an email to my mother asking for help and she sent me back a complete exercise regime. Just simple things really, like cardio, but since they're easy I started doing them whenever I had free time. I was actually wondering when they were going to show some results, guess my efforts finally bore fruits."

If the people of Sainan Town were willing to accept the existence of aliens, bold-faced bullshitting should work just as well.

"Bullshit!" Or not. Cut me some slack, I don't like lying even if it's for a good cause. "If it was true how come I never noticed you getting muscles until now?!"

"I don't know." I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "Do you check me out often?"

As predicted that earned me a punch in the face from a scandalized Kenichi, but it successfully diverted the attention from the origin of my new gains. After all, teenage boys do not like to admit they look closely at the bodies of their fellow males.

That said, the same principle doesn't apply to teenagegirls. It seemed my improved physique was noticed by more people than just my fellow male classmates, because after that episode I registered a noticeable increase in the amount of attention directed at me from the Sainan High girls, both in my class and the other ones in the same grade. It was likely thanks to my adult perspective that I even picked up on that, but I appreciated it all the same.

At school I often switched with Rito, both to get used to it and to let the guy enjoy our improved body. The first time he commented this is what being a shounen anime character must be like, and I fully agreed with that. Being just a passenger in my own body was a bit weird at first, but then I remembered Rito experienced the same when our role were switched so I quickly got over it.

It also helped that he was willing to share school hours and homework with me, something which I shamelessly took advantage of.

I also let Rito in control when it was time to interact with Haruna, she was his original love interest and future wife so I thought it was only fair. None of us had the intention of letting the embarrassing episodes of the canon timeline repeat themselves, so we both agreed to avoid teenage awkwardness and let our relationships develop at a natural pace, with just a little nudge here and there.

On my part I instead worked on deepening my bond with Mikan. I had a pretty good grasp of her personality thanks to my knowledge of the manga and Rito's memories, and knew that despite seeming like Mikan didn't respect Rito as much as she once did because she surpassed him in maturity and reliability, the truth was that she felt a little lonely since she didn't spend much time with Rito once he started attending high school. To remedy that I started helping Mikan around the house and inviting her to play together games we both enjoy. Pretty simple things really, and it earned me more than a few raised eyebrows from Mikan and her wondering if I was trying to curry favor with her for some nefarious end, but I could tell she was secretly pleased by the change.

Of course, that wasn't the only thing I focused on. Sometime there were unexpected but pleasant events.

* * *

'What about Yui?' I suddenly thought after the lunch break's bell rang, as if that question was straight out summoned by said sound.

'You mean Kotegawa? What about her?' Rito asked back. Most members of the Gang made themselves known every now and then, but he was the one whose presence I constantly felt close to me. Probably because I was in the body of one of his alternate selves.

'I just remembered she is supposed to go to Seinan High too.' I replied as I picked up my bento (made by Mikan, so all the more precious) and left the classroom to find a nice place to eat. 'But you met her for the first time when you became a Second Year, right?'

'True. We're in Class 1-A right now, while Kotegawa is in Class 1-B. We won't be in the same class until the new semester start. Why do you ask?'

'Well, I wouldn't mind meeting her before that.' I grinned within my mind to avoid being seen as creepy. 'Maybe even tease her a bit. Don't you think she's very fun to tease?'

'...Between you and me? In hindsight yes, she is.' He admitted, but his reluctance sounded forced. 'Even if personally I never felt the urge to tease others, that was more Mikan's thing. And at the time I was too worried about her being mad at me for things completely beyond my control. Do you have an idea how many times I got punished by her?'

'Let's see.' I stopped and began to count off my fingers. 'There was that time when, while selecting the class representative, you got your face pulled into her breasts by one of Lala's inventions. Then that time when that glass-wearing boy pushed you from behind and you ended up groping her. Then-'

'You have a great memory Lee, but only for the weirdest stuff.' He huffed. 'So, how do you plan to meet and tease her? Because I can tell you she's part of the discipline committee even now and won't take well to you trying anything funny.'

'Good question.' Realizing I was in front of the stairs I moved closer to the wall in order to let others students pass past me. 'I was thinking to try to consciously use your lewd powers, see if I can trigger a convenient situation by wishing for it hard enough.'

'Whatever the game system may pretend, because I donothave lewd powers.' Rito insisted rather firmly. 'I don't think things can happen just because someone wish really hard for them.'

'Ah, but you see? The game's description says the nature of your powers is based around manipulating probabilities. In other words, luck.' I explained, feeling completely confident in my answer. 'Which means I'm lucky. And good things happen to lucky people even if they do little or nothing. For example...'

I held out my arms in front of me, palms facing upwards as if ready to get passed something heavy.

'What happen if I wish for Yui to fall into my arms?'

'There's no way it will work.'

"Kyah!" Someone let out a cute, girlish cry above me. I barely had time to look up and notice a mass falling towards me before a body landed into my arms, paper sheets falling down all around me. It was all too very sudden, but thanks to my improved physique I managed to avoid falling down on my butt or dropping the person I was now holding in my arms.

"Hey! Are you alright?" I asked with concern as I turned my eyes downwards, only to end up locking gazes with a very shaken and flustered Yui Kotegawa. For a brief moment I was stuck speechless by how beautiful she was: long black hair that framed her face perfectly, fair skin without a single blemish and tinted a lovely pink just on her cheeks and dark brown eyes that looked made to get lost in. I was no virgin, yet there was just something in the girls of this world that managed to catch me flat-footed.

Maybe that's why I said what followed next. "Uh, what do you know. I guess sometimes angelsdofall from heaven."

Did I mention I wanted to kick myself in the balls several times once I realized what my traitorous mouth just said?

'First: holy cow it worked! Second: that was so cheesy I can't believe it came out of my own mouth!' Rito shouted, somehow managing to sound both shell-shocked and absolutely mortified. A sentiment which I sadly shared.

"Wha-" Yui's eyes grew comically large, the blush on her face deepening before her tsundere instincts kicked in. "What are you saying?! How shameless! Unhand me this instant!"

Luckily years of watching anime taught me how to deal with a tsundere. "Sure!" I helped her back to her feet, taking a moment to make sure she could stand on her own before looking at her with concern. "Are you alright? That looked like it could have been a nasty fall. I'm sorry, that was all so very sudden, I swear I wasn't trying to do anything improper." I told her with a polite tone, making sure to bow my head while keeping a hand on its back.

"U-Uh? No, I'm fine." She answered in a more mellow tone, my response having taken the wind out of her sails. "I just tripped, that's all..."

"Really? I'm glad: the most important thing is that you're unharmed." I smiled, honestly relieved that Yui wasn't hurt. If my luck was so effective then maybe actively pushing it to act wasn't a good idea.

Yui looked like she wasn't sure how to react, probably because of all her previous bad experiences with boys. It seriously made me wonder what kind of people she previously went to school with if she thinks all males are insensitive jerks.

'I'm pretty sure part of the fault lies with her brother.' Rito informed me. 'He's a good person at heart, but he can really crank up the whole ladies' man persona. I could tell you some stories...'

ThatI had to hear. But later: much, much later.

"Ah! The paperwork sensei asked me to bring him!" Finally noticing all the sheets spread haphazardly across the ground Yui knelt down and began to frantically pick them up.

"Let me help, it's the least I can do." Without waiting for an answer I also knelt down and joined her.

"There's no need, I can do it myself." She protested.

"I know, but it'll be faster with two people." I countered her argument with sound logic, one of the weaknesses of tsunderes.

Yui didn't protest any further, and before long we had finished collecting all the scattered papers. I passed over my own share and waited patiently for her answer, knowing it was important for Yui to have the initiative. At least for now.

"...Thank you..." She eventually said, not quite meeting my eyes. "For helping me pick up the papers. And for... catching me..."

"Glad to help." I smiled while nodding. "My name is Yuuki Rito, Class 1-A. Nice to meet you."

"Kotegawa Yui, Class 1-B. Now if you'll excuse me I have to deliver those papers." She briskly said before turning around.

"Of course. Have a good day Kotegawa-san, and please be more careful in the future." I said as she walked away. I waited for her to move out of my sight before looking around: seeing no one I cupped my chin and grinned cheekily. "That went well!"

'You think so? Don't complain to me when she starts hitting you while shouting 'salacious' or 'how shameless'.' Rito argued, and I could just picture him shaking his head in silent disapproval.

I raised an eyebrow. Then, like the perfect picture of nonchalance, I resumed walking towards my original destination. 'Did you know that Kotegawa Yui, despite how much she yells about shameless boys, was one of the girls that subconsciously wanted a child with you?'

'Rea-SHE WANTED WHAT?!'

My lips curved into an amused smile as I sent him the relevant memories of Yui fantasizing about starting a family with Rito.

There were several seconds of silence, enough that when Rito spoke again I already started eating. 'I just realized I didn't know Kotegawa as well as I thought.'

'Most of the girls, at some point in the series, has had some seriously lewd thoughts about you, Rito. You would have been an excellent harem king protagonist.' I told him with sincere admiration and barely concealed mirth.

He didn't have a retort to that.

Yeah, that episode definitely proved I had Rito's infamous luck, and since I was more open about my desires it seemed it was not limited to causing improbable groping through unexplained clumsiness. Which was one thing I was grateful for.

Especially since now I was anything but clumsy.

"Uuuuooooohhh!!!" I shouted with what I am not embarrassed to admit was childish glee as I pushed with my legs and soared through the air, covering the distance between the two buildings like a home run ball before reaching the next rooftop with such grace my landing barely produced any sound. Not content with that I crouched down and performed a handstand using a single finger, then began to do push-ups using only said digit. "I'm breaking the laws of physics with hardly any effort and it's AWESOME!!!"

'Not really, this is just the result of intense training and dedication. Which you skipped thanks to some magic mumbo-jumbo, but by now I'm used to magic cheating all the time." Ranma grumbled.

'Intense training? Are you aware that most of the stuff your dumbass of a father put you through count as child abuse, right?' Riku's sarcastic voice added. 'It's honestly baffling how you even survived to adulthood without being a crippled mess.'

'I'm just that good.' The martial artist replied with complete confidence. 'And hey, at least Pops never shot me because I failed to wake up on time.'

'Ah ah. To be fair to Reborn it was mostly an intimidation tactic: he was very good at determining what I could dodge or survive and what I couldn't.' Tsuna chuckled.

'Oh, so like that time Pops decided to train my awareness by chucking boulders at me at random times while I slept?'

'And to think I used to consider Ranma 1/2 lighthearted comedy...' Rito commented with a befuddled tone.

I have decided to start training my Skill **[Decavirate]**, because even if it says I can use the skills of the Gang as if they are my own I doubted I could do so perfectly on the first try. At the very least I wanted to test it first with something unlikely to cause widespread damage, like Laharl and Issei's powers. Hence my current selection of 'trainers'.

Tsuna. I wasn't actively channeling him, but we noticed just his presence granted me the Hyper Intuition. It was a passive ability so I didn't need to train it, and having a sixth sense that borders on precognition warning me of possible dangers and bad decisions was a tremendous help. Though Tsuna warned me that the full potential of the Hyper Intuition can only be used during Hyper and Ultimate Dying Will Mode. He also told me that, since both modes required a very heightened emotional state, the safest way to train them was within a controlled environment while having external assistance. Not to mention we didn't have Dying Will Bullets or Pills: Tsuna knew how to create them, but currently I had neither the time nor the materials needed.

Ranma. Using his various martial arts required only knowledge of them and access to Chi, and they were versatile enough that I could use them in almost any situation. To my pleasant surprise it turned out I was not limited to the abilities he showed during the manga: during his long life Ranma greatly expanded his repertory of techniques, and even managed to replicate Herb's use of raw Chi. All of which he was more than happy to show me, but I decided to stick with the basics and work my way from there.

And finally Riku. Mainly for the chance to wield a real Keyblade, but also because I thought a Keyblade user's high-speed, acrobatic combat style mesh well with Ranma's own. Moreover, though he's still tight-lipped about them Riku mentioned he came across a lot of lost lore about the Keyblade Masters of old and was taught many advanced techniques by Yen Sid and Mickey. The only thing I confirmed for sure was that he learned how to manifest a Keyblade Armor, which was something I was looking forward to try.

There was also Rito but mostly he played the part of the spectator, with just some comments every now and then.

Oh, and the reason they knew about each other's past was not just because of the 'sharing memories' part of **[Decavirate]**. Like Tsuna said the Gang set about exploring my inner world while I went through my daily life and they found a lot of stuff, like a kitchen that somehow always had fresh food, a high-class lounge, a theater with very comfy seats and even a game center. The theater had a vast selection of films and anime, including the Gang's own series, and the game center had all the games that feature them in some fashion. So naturally they ended up spending their free time goofing around most of those places.

Sometime it was hard to remember those were supposed to be old men in a teenager's body.

That is not to say they also didn't find more interesting stuff: many of the giant doors I saw in the distance the first time I woke up in my inner world were featureless, but a few had both a keyhole and a plate with a name above it. The Gang found ten such doors, and all of them had the name of one of the settings they came from. The door with the **[To Love-Ru]** plate was the only one open, revealing a tunnel that seemed to continue on forever, so we deduced those were the doors leading to their original worlds. They left the decision if and when to open them to me: picking up on the general mood I judged it a matter to consider at a later date, when everyone was more used to our current situation, and they agreed.

"Alright! Let's try the Keyblade next." I jumped back to my feet with a flip and stretched my arms while looking around: it was still night and there was not a single person gawking at me from the streets or from a window, so that was good. "Riku, any advice?"

'Steel your heart. I learned that a Keyblade is a reflection of its wielder's heart first and a weapon second.' He told me. 'Channel my memories to help you, but remember it'syourheart which must be strong.'

"Got it, thank you." I took a deep breath, gathering my focus and making sure none of the emotions in my heart was out of control, then once I felt ready I called upon Riku's memories. For a moment the flow of foreign memories was almost overwhelming -a simple life on Destiny Island/meeting with Terra/Darkness/Light- then something justclickedand everything became clear. I opened my eyes and held out my right hand, fingers curled as if grasping an invisible hilt. _"Braveheart!"_

Light flashed into existence in front of me, taking a sword-like shape before manifesting into the familiar shape of Braveheart. My fingers closed around the hilt, which felt both comfortably warm and a perfect fit for my grip. I swung it to the side to test the weight, the Keychain clicking softly, before lifting it above my head: the light from the moon illuminated the blade from behind, giving it an otherworldly feeling. "Woah..."

I was holding a real Keyblade. Many of my deepest, most secret geek dreams just came true.

'Uhm, how odd.' Riku commented. 'I am holding Braveheart right now, yet I feel its presence both in my hands and in yours. As if it's in two different places at the same time. Very odd indeed.'

"Do you think it's going to be a problem?"

'No, I don't think so. We're moving through uncharted waters here, but I have a good sixth sense for this kind of situations and it's not giving me a bad feeling. Now tell me, what kind of opponents do you expect to face in this world? I mean in the immediate future, not in general.'

I thought about the beginning of the series: the first enemies faced by Rito... well I hesitated to call them such, and they were just doing their job, but that award definitely went to Zastin and his two subordinates. I didn't remember the latter's names, but since I was going to meet them for the 'first' time in the immediate future it was a moot point. "Aliens. They look like humans but have incredible strength, being able to jump very high and throw a car with ease. They're also durable enough to survive being hit by a moving train, and one of them is a very good swordsman. But they're not bad guys, we're going to fight because of a misunderstanding."

'I see. I suppose you want to take them down nonlethally, in that case Ranma's skillset will help you more. If you still want to use Braveheart then I recommend the Sleep spell.'

'If they're aliens their bodies probably work in a different manner, I can't guarantee my knowledge of pressure points will work.' Ranma added. 'But hey, if all else fail we just need to hit them hard enough.'

'I suddenly feel sorry for Zastin. More than usual I mean...' Rito commented.

* * *

Until, finally, the great day came. The day when everything would begin, and like any story worth telling it started with a naked girl.

"Great isn't the adjective I would use." Rito muttered under his breath with a sigh. I gave him control of our body for the last lessons of the day, allowing me to take a quick nap. He perked up when he caught sight of a familiar girl. "Have a good day Sairenji-san."

"You too Yuuki-kun." The black-haired girl replied with a small smile after looking up from the book she was reading. Haruna has been surprised the first time Rito spoke to her, but now she seemed used to the casual greetings.

"And to think you used to run away while blushing up a storm every time you tried talking to her."I snickered.

'Every time I tried to confess to her. That's different.'He countered as we walked back home.'So Lee, it's the tenth of May today.'

"Yup."

'What's the plan again?'Rito asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Be a badass."I replied with a cheeky tone.

He rolled his eyes.'It's not like I'm scared. Just... stage fright I guess?'

"Nah, I understand. Truth be told I'm nervous too."I admitted."Logically I know I'm going to be fine, I trained plenty of times during the last days and I have you guys to support me. But emotionally speaking it's another story."

'Emotions are tricky like that. I found out it's like ripping off a band-aid: the best moment to do it is when you're distracted. Or in other words: keep focusing on the present and leave the future to the future. What happens happen, worrying too much will just make things worse.'

That was extremely good advice, even if a bit clichè. Didn't make it any less true though, and I was grateful for Rito's support.

Once we were in front of the Yuuki residence Rito gave control back to me. I unlocked the door and started removing my shoes. "I'm home Mikan."

"Welcome back Rito." I found her sitting on the couch, reading a magazine while munching on a bag of chips. "Dad said he's gonna be late again."

"Nothing new then." I understood a mangaka's job was hard, but he could stand to be a little more present in the life of his own children. Both he and his wife were good people, I knew it, but comedy series or not a parent's absence was a very serious problem. Pushing that aside I stared at Mikan with half-lidded eyes. "Don't eat junk food before dinner."

"It's fine, it's fine." She waved me off. "It's just a light snack."

"Just one, uh? Fine, I'll let it slide this time." Approaching Mikan from behind I leaned forward... and poked her where I knew she was ticklish, causing my sister to let out a cute squeal. "But don't blame me if you become chubby."

"W-Who's chubby?! Rito you jerk!" She yelled at me as I retreated, one of the couch's pillow hitting the back of my head.

"Older sibling's privilege~!" I sing-song, enjoying it more than I should.

A short while later I was soaking in the bathtub, enjoying the hot water as much as I could since I knew my private time was soon going to get interrupted, and ratherexplosivelyat that.

"You're making bad puns in your head now?"I could just picture Rito shaking his head in an exasperated manner.

"Why yes, yes I am." I replied while picking up the rubber duck with really thick eyebrows, squeezing it a few times before putting it back on the water's surface. "Issei?"

"Minato and Rin are keeping him busy at the theater watching Sekirei. Tsuna, Riku and Ranma are waiting nearby. The others are around, I don't know doing what, but I saw Riku walking with a huge popcorn box in his arms."

Good. Usually I don't mind letting the others observe my life, but since I was soon going to see a naked Lala it counted as a private enough time I was more comfortable with just Rito being with me. Plus I wasn't quite in the mood to listen to Issei's appreciation for the female form: I happened to share many of his opinions, yes, but I at least had the good sense to not scream them aloud to the world.

"Uh oh. I think it's starting."Rito suddenly warned me.

Lowering my gaze I saw a lot of bubbles appearing on the water's surface, which were quickly followed by sparkles and a high-pitched noise. I sat cross-legged and prepared myself to act surprised.

A few seconds later all the water in the bathtub exploded outward, as if something very large and heavy was just dropped into it. "Waah?! The tube exploded?" I shouted in surprise, and not all of it was faked.

"Ahhhh~! I managed to escape!" A voice that sounded suspiciously like Asuna from SAO exclaimed in relief. I looked ahead.

And met the most magnificent pair of boobs I have ever seen in my life: they were large enough to fit in my palm, their shape absolutely perfect, while the slightly wet and smooth skin was sparkling under the bathroom's lights. The nipples were a lovely cherry color, and poking out as if begging to be played with.

"Eyes up casanova."Rito snickered loudly before starting to laugh under his breath.

With a supreme effort of will I moved my eyes upward, steadfastly ignoring a growing erection, and met the slightly curious gaze of Lala Satalin Deviluke. Emerald green eyes, long bubblegum pink hair and a heart-shaped face that looked like it was intentionally made to be as lovely as possible: it was like meeting Yui all over again but stronger, and I suddenly understood why mythology was full of stories of wars being waged over a single woman.

"Hello! Sorry to intrude!" Lala cheerfully greeted me, completely unbothered by our shared nakedness.

Very slowly, my body resisting my mind's commands all the way, I raised a hand and covered my eyes. I could tell I was blushing, and somehow that embarrassed me even more. "Hello. Just to be sure, are you an hallucination?"

In case anyone ask, I was completely and utterly winging it.

"Nope!"

"I see. In that case, can we both get dressed and move to my room before continuing this conversation? The bathroom isn't really a suitable place for it."

"Sure, I don't mind! But I don't any clothes with me." She continued in the same cheerful manner. "Oh, I'm Lala, from planet Deviluke. What's your name?"

"Rito. From... planet Earth, I guess. I'll let you borrow some of my clothes." I grabbed the towel I conveniently left nearby, quickly tying it around my waist as I left the tub. Sadly my erection had yet to go away, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Arousal is a psychological reaction and thus completely normal."Rito informed me before going back to laugh under his breath.

One day I will have my revenge, and it will be legendary.

After miraculously avoiding Mikan, probably because I raised less fuss than canon, I found myself in my room together with Lala: I gave her another set of my pajamas, though she complained a little about the shirt being tight around her chest.

Duh. Of course the shirt was tight around the chest: it also did nothing to hide the shape of her nipples, making the task of keep looking Lala in the eyes all the harder.

"So, you're an alien?" I asked her.

"Well, I guess you could put it that way‒from anearthling's perspective." She smiled. I guess in her eyes I was the alien. "Oh my! Maybe you don't believe me?"

"No no, I believe you." I quickly answered. While I didn't mind getting an eyeful of Lala's butt, my erection had just started going away. "I have a good sense for when someone is lying or not. Also, the tail is kind of a dead giveaway." I pointed to the long, thin, dark red tail waggling behind her.

"Uh? Oh that's right, I already took it out!" She put a fist on her open palm. "Oh, but just because I've got a tail doesn't mean I transform under a full moon!"

...Was that a Dragon Ball reference?

...Wait, how did Lala even know about Dragon Ball if this was the first time she came to Earth?!

"How odd, she didn't say anything like that when I first met her."Rito mused."Parallel dimension?"

'That must be it.'I replied, glad to have tangible evidence I was not in Rito's past but an alternate version of it.

"So Lala, why did you show up in my bathtub?" I continued my line of questioning.

"It's because I used this." She raised her left hand, showing the vaguely bunny-like bracelet around her wrist. "Check it out! I made it myself! It's... Little Boingy-Boing Warp!"

'Please tell me her naming sense will improve.'

"Do you want a pleasant lie or the harsh truth?"

Shit.

"You can't tell itwhereto send you." Lala continued. "But it allows for short-range warping of a living unit."

"Warping... You mean teleportation?"

"You betcha!" She grinned, obviously pleased at her own invention. "I used it in the spaceship bathroom and it just happened to warp me here, in your bathtub."

"I understand." I nodded. "That leave why you used it in the first place. Was it just a test run to see if it worked?"

Lala didn't answer immediately, a complicated expression on her face. "I'm being pursued." She eventually told me. "I thought I'd be safe if I could make it as far as Earth, but the people chasing me showed up anyway. They had me aboard their ship and nearly managed to take me away. If I hadn't used this bracelet, by now I've might..."

"Lady Lala!" The current conversation was put to a halt by the sudden appearance by a familiar robot flying into my room through the window. "Are you unharmed Lady Lala?"

"Peke!" Lala beamed happily as she hugged the little robot. "What a relief! You got away safely too!"

"Yes! It was fortunate that the ship hadn't yet left Earth's atmosphere!" Just then his spiral-like eyes seemed to finally notice me. "Lady Lala, who's this sorry-looking earthling?"

I was immediately annoyed. "So say the bald midget."

"How rude!" Despite the lack of facial features Peke's voice was quite expressive. "I'm as Lady Lala made me!"

"Ah ah ah! But it's true Peke: you're bald!" Lala pet the robot's head as if he was a dog.

"Lady Lala! Please have mercy!" Peke whined.

"Anyway Peke, his name is Rito and he's the occupant of this house." Lala told him before looking at me. "And this little one is Peke. I built him! He's an universal costume robot."

"I assume the name is self-describing?" I received a nod before Lala started taking off her clothes. I immediately slapped a hand over my eyes: I wanted to be cool, and I couldn't do it with a tent in my pants.

"Now then Peke, if you would?"

"Roger ma'am!"

There was a flash of light. When I opened my eyes again Lala was wearing her iconic costume and confirming Peke got her measures right. "Well?! Isn't it wonderful Rito?"

"You mean the fact the little guy can turn into clothes or your outfit? Because I would say both." I replied, which greatly pleased the pink-haired alien. "Anyway Lala, what do you intend to-"

Hyper Intuition chose that moment to shout me a warning: moving on autopilot my body dived in front of Lala and assumed a battle-ready stance.

Immediately afterward two more figures jumped through the window, revealing themselves to be Lala's bodyguards. I suppressed a wince at the foot-marks left by their shoes on my carpet and focused back on the two Yakuza lookalikes glaring at us.

No, I realized as I felt Tsuna, Ranma and Riku join Rito at the forefront of my consciousness: they were totally focused on Lala, completely ignoring me as if I was a non-factor.

That...pissed me off.

"Jeez, you're a real troublemaker." The blond one drawled. "We should've restricted your movements, even if it meant tying you hands and feet 'til we left Earth."

"...Peke." Lala was clearly irritated. "Didn't I tell you to make sure you weren't being followed?"

"Erm... Yes..." The robot who was only good at turning into clothes replied lamely.

"Arrrgh! You mechanical moron! Everything's totally ruined now!!"

"Sorryyy!!!"

"Now, are you ready to go this time?" Blondie asked before dashing forward and grabbing Lala's arm, startling her.

Only to let go an instant later with a shout of pain when I slammed the flat of Braveheart's blade on his wrist. "I can forgive you stomping all over my carpet. After all you're foreigners and don't know here in Japan we take off our shoes before walking inside private houses." I said with a neutral, calm tone as I straightened up, Keyblade held loosely in my right hand. "But trying to kidnap a girl, and treating her rudely at that?"

I looked up and flashed them a confident, daring grin. "That, I cannot forgive. Now get the hell out of my house."

"Don't interfere earthling!" Blondie shouted as he and the other one, which I'll just call Thug, lunged at me.

Too slow.

I shot to the side with a Chi-enhanced jump, looking as if I just vanished from sight. Upon landing on the wall with both feet Flowmotion activated, diverting all of my momentum into a direction of my choosing without even an ounce of delay: thanks to that I was able to immediately jump back at the two aliens, who I could see where still in the middle of reacting to my sudden disappearance. Channeling more of Ranma and Riku's combat experience I lashed out with the flat of the blade and hit the back of their heads at the same time. That kind of blow was enough to knock out humans and most animals according to Ranma's knowledge, and I calculated my strength taking into account a Deviluke's higher resistance to damage.

Both yakuza lookalikes flew above a very surprised Lala and slammed face-first into the wall behind her: their heads ended up completely buried inside, leaving the rest of their bodies to hang out from the wall like a pair of oversized flags.

Uh.

I guess I overestimated them?

"That was so cool Rito!" Lala closed the distance between us and grabbed my arm, holding up Braveheart as she looked all over it and bombarded me with questions. "I didn't know earthlings were so strong! Where does this sword come from? Are you an inventor too Rito? What else can it do? Can it fire laser beams?"

"Well, I'm kind of a special case." I replied while scratching the back of my head. I looked back at the ruined wall and wondered: how much of my allowance would I need to use to repair it?

"What's going on Rito?!" Mikan chose that moment to open the door and step inside with a worried expression. "I heard a-"

Her eyes widened as she took in the whole scene: me holding a strange-looking weapon, a beautiful girl wearing a bizarre costume hanging from my arms, and two men buried head-first in the wall like in a comedy manga.

"...Nevermind. Sorry I bothered you..." She continued with an even tone as she slowly closed the door, all the while staring at me as if I grew a second head.

"Mikaaaan! I can explaiiiiin!!!"

* * *

"Wait. Let me get this straight." The next day I found myself walking to school together with Lala. Clearing the misunderstanding with Mikan and moving the two knocked-out aliens out of my home took a lot of time and efforts, but I somehow managed. "Those two were chasing you because youran away from home?"

"Yep!" She admitted with a smile. "Papa wants me to get married so he kept making me meet one suitor after another. It's so boring!"

"So, those two guys...?"

"They are my bodyguards!"

"Ugh." I hang down my head as if disappointed in myself at the misunderstanding. "Look, maybe it's none of my business but running away from home isn't a solution. Can't you just, you know, talk to your father and tell him you don't want to marry yet?"

"I tried! But Papa is too busy tried to slack off from his responsibilities and don't listen to a word I say!" She crossed her arms and huffed.

Now, why was I being the voice of reason instead of just letting things play in a way similar to canon?

Because I took pride in being a reasonable adult, that's why.

"I know!" Lala snapped her fingers before glomping my arm. Have I said I loved how thin Peke's costume was to the touch? "Let's get married Rito!"

I resisted the urge to shout 'Hell yes!' and merely raised an eyebrow at her. "Didn't you just tell me you ran away from home because you don't want to marry?"

"That's fine! You see..." Letting go of me she took a step back and clapped her hands. "From the moment I first laid my eyes on you I've been in love with you!"

This had the potential to be one of my most happy memories. Except... "I'm flattered, I really am. But tell me something Lala." I rubbed my chin and fixed her with a knowing look. "How much of that is an excuse to not go home?"

"Ergh!" Lala looked like a child caught stealing cookies from the kitchen. "W-What are you saying Rito? I really fell in love with you at first sight!"

"Lady Lala..." Even Peke was able to see the truth.

"Look Lala." I stepped close and put a hand on her shoulder. "I can understand wanting to live your life the way you want, without it being dictated by someone else." Her eyes widened. Yeah I was using my knowledge of canon to choose my words, sue me. "But marriage is not something to be decided so easily. Before that there's dating, getting to know each other and a lot of other things..." I pulled back my hand and scratched my head. "What I want to say is that deciding who you will marry is an important decision, so you shouldn't rush it. I don't mind helping you stay here on Earth if you really don't want to go home for now, so please think carefully before making a decision." I smiled. "Alright?"

'I am an idioooooot!!!'

"It was the right choice."Rito told me.

'Making the right choice suuuuuuck!!!'

"Rito..." Contrary to my expectations Lala was blushing, looking at me in a new way. "I'm so happy. You really do understand how I feel. It's like you said: I want to live my life the wayIwant. And most importantly, I want to choose who I marry too. So, I have decided!" This time she threw her arms around my neck and fully hugged me, affectionately rubbing her cheek on my chest. "I want to marry you Rito!"

"Didn't I just tell you to think carefully before making a decision?!" I shouted in shock, though in truth her words made me ridiculously happy.

"I thought about it carefully! Just now!"

"Thinking carefully means spending more than a few seconds thinking about it!"

"Good... morning, Yuuki-kun?" While I was distracted Haruna approached me and Lala, and now she was looking at us as if unsure how to react.

"Who's she?" Lala asked, still hugging me.

"...Good morning Sairenji-san." I sighed before hanging down my head. "Would you believe me if I say my life took a sharp turn for the bizarre since yesterday?"

"Uh... I can see that." She replied with some hesitation. "But-"

I would never knew what Haruna was about to ask me, because in that moment a spike of pure, absolute darknesss hot out of the ground in front of us. Peering into it gave me a splitting headache for a short instant before I felt Hyper Intuition pulling back into a more general feeling of grave danger.

"Shit!"I heard Riku swore inside my mind.

'Riku?! What's going on?'

"I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but I guess it was a just a matter of time. Get ready to fight!"

More spikes emerged, forming a fence that separated Haruna from Lala and I. "Haruna! Lala! Stay away from those things!" I shouted as I pulled the pink-haired girl away.

"Y-Yuuki-kun?" Haruna asked in visible fear. "What, what is going on?"

The spikes split apart and fell to both sides, creating the impression of a giant maw opening in the ground. And from it...

They emerged, literally clawing their way into reality.

Heartless.

The little imp-like monsters were even more disturbing to look at in real life, being nothing more than three-dimensional shadows that twitched and jerked in a manner that was both insectoid and completely alien at the same time. Most of them were simple Shadows, but I also spotted two Darksides and a group of Magic Phantoms flying above.

'Riku, why are there Heartless here?!'I asked the Keyblade Master as I summoned Braveheart to my hands.

"This world's Keyhole is still locked, don't worry. The problem is that a Keyblade wielder, especially one as powerful as we are, is like a beacon for Heartless."He explained in a hurry."They keep following the Keyblade's light and eventually manage to sneak into the world where it resides. Sora and I had to deal with random Heartless attacks all our lives."

So from now on the same would happen to me?

...Nothing to do but perform my duty as a Keyblade wielder then. If this was the price for my powers, then I was more than ready to pay it.

"Rito, what are those things?" Lala asked with an uneasy voice, the sight of the otherworldly creatures clearly disturbing her. Even her Peke-like cape looked scared.

"Heartless. They're what I fight." Seeing a few Shadows moving towards Haruna I crouched down into a sprinting position. "Whatever happens don't let them touch you or something horrible will happen."

With those final words I channeled Chi through my legs and shot forward like a bullet. Cutting my way through the crowd of Heartless and dodging magic blasts from both the Darksides and Magic Phantoms I reached Haruna, picked her up by the waist and then jumped away until I was behind a nearby house.

"I'll explain later. For now please hide." I told Haruna before moving back to the battle.

Just in time to see a giant mechanical octopus being destroyed by a hail of dark fireballs shot by the Magic Phantoms. "Ritooooo!!!" Lala flew towards me with tears in her eyes. "I tried punching them but the purples ones didn't even flinched! And now they even broke Little Vrr-Vrr Vacuum! What should I do?!"

"The purple ones are immune to physical attacks!" I told her as I channeled magic through the Keyblade. "You defeat them like this! Blizzaga!"

I swung Braveheart in the Heartless' direction, the blade glowing with a blue light before shooting three massive blocks of ice from the tip. The magical attack hit the group of Magic Phantoms dead on, the ice shattering into a shower of sharp fragments that shred apart the flying Heartless.

One of the Darksides shot its dark homing missiles at me, but I memorized the right timing since a long time ago. I blocked each blast, hurling them back and hitting the second Darkside right in the head. Taking advantage of the brief opening it created I dashed forward and slashed the second Darkside's hands several times before using Flowmotion on a nearby wall to jump on the Heartless' top, where I proceeded to decapitate it with one swift strike.

"Thundaga!"

Massive lightning bolts rained down from a clear sky, vaporizing the remaining Shadows and severely injuring the last Darkside. Before the large Heartless could pull off its desperation move I jumped towards it while spinning like a whirligig, which gave my Keyblade enough force to cleave straight through the shadowy monster.

I landed back on the ground and looked at my surroundings: there were no more Heartless in sight, I couldn't even feel their presence, and the Corridor of Darkness had already closed.

That was... Wow.

"Hey guys! We found a new door: it's bigger than the others and has a console... Uh."Killua's voice trailed off."What did we miss?"

"Teenage drama, plenty of misunderstandings and an attempted murder."Ranma answered nonchalantly."Just like back home."


	6. to Love-ru (2) Chapter Five

Chapter Five

"I assume both of you want an explanation about what just happened? Right now?" I asked to Haruna and Lala. After the last Heartless was killed I quickly pulled the three of us away from the site of the battle, since I wasn't in the mood to indulge the questioning of curious adults. Alien shenanigans at school or during the night was one thing, but a magical battle against eldritch beings right in the morning? I wassonot going to risk it. "Even if it means being late for school?"

Who need a perfect record anyway?

Do not try this at home kids: I have cheats, you don't.

"I have no idea what a 'school' is, but I'm really curious about those Heartless things!" Lala enthusiastically declared.

"...Me too." Haruna shyly added before gasping quietly and waving her hands in denial. "I mean, being late to school is bad! But with everything that happened it should be alright if we take some time to calm down, right? Just once is fine. I mean, it's not like we're ditching or something, right?"

I chuckled at the black-haired girl's panic before raising a hand and smiling in a reassuring manner. "Don't worry Sairenji-san, we're not ditching. Alright, where to begin..." I scratched my chin, thinking how to explain the situation without lying. Too much, anyway.

"Someone needs a believable story that's not, strictly speaking, a lie?"Killua asked with a tone that made it obvious he already knew the answer.

'Yes. Please help this helpless one Killua-sama.'I answered with a deadpan tone.

The white-haired assassin laughed loudly before, finally, proceeding to explain. As I listened I began to talk. "So, the first thing you need to know is this: magic is real."

"Question!" Lala raised a hand. "What's 'magic'?"

"Uh oh, the only flaw in my perfect plan! Oh well, you're on your own Lee."

'You're useless!'

Thus was how I spent a few minutes trying to explain the concept of magic and other supernatural stuff to Lala, which also necessitated telling to Haruna about Lala's alien origins. Luckily for me both girls easily accepted my explanations, thought that made me wonder if they were really so trusting or just gullible. Lala was a literal sheltered princess so both options were a possibility, while Haruna... Maybe it's because it was Rito telling her that?

Then again, there was a lot of evidence being paraded around. Like my Keyblade and Peke.

"Everything started a week ago when I met a group of warriors from another world, who told me I have been chosen to be their successor." I scratched my chin. "I know it sounds more than a little skeevy, I also had trouble accepting it at first, but I can assure you they are the real deal. Anyway, they granted me several abilities through a magical process and then explained what my new responsibilities are. One of them is being a Peacekeeper of Light."

It sounded very corny, but to my immense surprise it turned out to be a real title granted to Keyblade wielders in the past. It fell out of use well before the time of Terra, Ventus and Aqua, but Riku remembered reading it in a book. Using it was Killua's idea, who said something about 'easily impressionable young girls', whatever that means in his mind.

"Peacekeeper of Light?" Harune repeated, as if tasting the sound of it. "What does it entail?"

"Metaphorically speaking, every living being in existence is made of three parts: the Body, the Heart and the Soul. To put it in simple terms the Soul is the will, the Hearts the emotions and the Body the vessel that holds the former two." I told them using Riku's words. "Hearts in turn are made of both Light and Darkness: rather than in terms of good and evil it's more correct to consider Light the capacity for selflessness and Darkness the capacity for selfishness. By itself selfishness is not a bad thing, without it you cannot value or take care of yourself, but if it grows too much it becomes dangerous. That's why a normal Heart is mainly composed of Light with a small core of Darkness. Heartless however are different: they are the physical manifestations of Hearts that have been completely swallowed by Darkness and became beings of pure instinct. Usually they reside in a separate dimension called the Realm of Darkness, but sometimes they manage to reach a world populated by people: once it happens they search for and consume Hearts in order to create more of themselves. The duty of a Peacekeeper of Light is to stop them."

With a flash of light Braveheart appeared in my hand. "This is a Keyblade, the only weapon that can purify Heartless. If a Heartless is destroyed without using it they will just reform later in the Realm of Darkness, while this way the Heart is cleansed of Darkness and can rejoin Kingdom Hearts, the source of all Hearts. A Keyblade also acts as a beacon for Heartless, making it easier for me to dispatch them."

I thought I explained things in a clear manner, but after I finished I could almost see smoke coming out of Haruna's ears, while Lala had her eyes closed and the tips of her index fingers pressed against her temples, as if thinking really hard about something. "Uwaah... Yuuki-kun, that's a lot to take in..." The black-haired girl complained with a lost expression.

"Yeah, I get it. Truth be told in the beginning I also was overwhelmed, but well I had a whole week to get to terms with it." I admitted. "This was also my first time fighting Heartless, until now I just trained to use my new powers."

"So that's why Yuuki-kun looked different this past week..." Haruna muttered under her breath. I'm sure I was not supposed to hear that, but sharper senses was another of the perks of my new body. "And the group of warriors from another world? What happened to them?"

My face adopted a neutral expression as I looked away and gazed into the distance. "They're currently enjoying their retirement. Which apparently translates to them spending every day eating junk food, watching the TV and playing games."

""HEY!""All ten residents of my soul shouted at the same time.

"This is amazing!" Lala shouted next, a bright smile on her lips. "Earth is amazing! I heard it was just a provincial world but in truth it's full of incredibly interesting stuff!" Next thing I knew she was hugging me again. "I'm so glad you're the one I decided to marry Rito!"

Haruna blinked in shock. "Marry?"

"Uh... Yeah. I was proposed to." Very reluctantly, though I didn't show it, I slightly pushed Lala's head away. "I'm not sure how to react. Like I said, my life took a sharp turn for the bizarre since yesterday."

"More bizarre than magic, monsters born out of darkness and other worlds?" Haruna asked me with an amused tone before showing a timid but bright smile. "Still, you saved me. Thank you, Yuuki-kun. That was very brave of you."

Aah, being thanked by Haruna made me super happy!

"That's right! Rito, you said that group of people came from a different world? Even Deviluke's technology cannot perform dimensional travel! I'm so jealous!" Lala added. "Can you travel between worlds too?"

"I should, yes. A Keyblade has many abilities, and one of them is to allow its wielder to open passages to other worlds..."

"Alright. Where's this new door you found?" I asked Killua as I followed the white-haired boy within the confines of my inner world. I kept talking to Haruna and Lala until we realized it was getting really late, so after making Lala promise to wait for me back home I switched to Rito and let him run to school together with Haruna while I went inside the inner world to meet with the Gang.

Yes, I turned out I can do that too. It made going through school a lot easier for both me and Rito.

"Just ahead." Killua pointed with one finger. After walking around a pillar I saw Minato and Rin waiting for us waiting in front of one of the giant doors that littered the inner world's walls. I immediately noticed that this one was bigger than the others, a good two or three extra meters in height and width: the keyhole in the center was also more detailed, opening in the middle of three interlocked plates of red, yellow and blue. A small part of my mind recalled the (maybe not) irrelevant trivia those were the three primary colors.

"Hey Lee." Minato greeted me, Rin nodding along. He took a step to the side, revealing a console where usually should be the plate with a world's name. It reminded me of an ATM, consisting of a screen and a small, minimalistic keyboard below it. However, to its right side it had a smaller version of the keyhole in the middle of the door, and dangling from it was a large, old fashioned key tied to a red string haphazardly stuck to the keyhole with transparent tape.

"Alright, what I am looking at?" I asked as I approached them. Unless the console can only be used by me I was sure those three already fiddled with it plenty.

"Apparently it's a door that connect with multiple dimensions." The Ashikabi answered. "The main program is similar to a web search engine: you use keywords to search for specific results. In our case it's dimensions corresponding to specific settings. There's a [Help] button in the upper left corner of the keyboard that open up a page with all the rules."

He picked up the key without breaking the string: now that I was closer I could see there was a white sticker around it, with the word 'freebie' written on it. "For every world you unlock you need to use a key like this together with the Keyblade. This one's free, and you can find more in the Tower of Paradise."

"Of which we have yet to find the entrance. Well, it's not like I'm in a hurry of anything." I replied before looking at the console. Like Minato said it was like a minimalistic search engine, with the keyboard only having simple options like letters and numbers.

I clicked the [Help] button and was rewarded with a list.

Rules of the Multi-World Door:

This door grants access to dimensions where you don't possess a specific Avatar. When visiting them you will appear as your Mabinogi character.

Since the original owner was you none of the people in your head can take control of your Mabinogi Avatar even if you give them permission.

To unlock a world you need a World Key. You get one for free, and you can find more within the Tower of Paradise

The Subskill [Save And Reload] applies here too.

Each World Key can only be used once, so choose wisely.

"So, if I want to visit a dimension beside the ones you guys came from I need to use this door and keys like this one." I said while rolling the key within my fingers. "I can choose any setting I want?"

"Should be: I tried inputting the names of anime from my home world and it gave me results. Same thing with Minato and Killua." Rin told me.

I nodded while humming in confirmation. The urge to try it was strong, but a single World Key meant I could only choose one world until I found this fabled 'Tower of Paradise'. And even then who knew how rare were the keys?

No, like with the other doors the best decision was to wait for now. Beside, I needed time to think carefully about my choice.

"Good job guys." I said as I left the key free to dangle from the console once again. "I'm not using it for now, so let's go back to inform the others of your finding."

"The story of my life?" Ranma repeated. We both were in the inner world's theater watching anime to pass the time, when I thought about asking him that. "You want to know it? What for?"

"It's true I know about everyone thanks to the series in my old world, but they didn't cover all of your lives." I explained as I put back the DVD case with the first thirteen episodes of Soul Eater. A good show, maybe I'll visit it in the future. "For example, I didn't know who Rito eventually married and what his job was until he told me. Plus, I believe it may be possible that the events you went through were different compared to what I know." To tell the truth it was just a hunch I had since Rito said his Lala didn't make a Dragon Ball reference the first time she showed her tail, but it was still worth checking. "So I'm curious to know more. Not only that, I want to learn more about your guys and the type of people you grew up into."

"That so? But I'm not a good storyteller, you fine with that?" Seeing me nod as I sat next to him Ranma released a soft breath. "Fine, fine. Where to even begin... I guess that's a good start as any." Crossing his arms behind his head he leaned back on the seat and rested his feet on the backrest in front of him. "You were right about stuff being different. The Akane I knew was more skilled than the one you know, and actually used techniques of the Tendo Branch of Anything Goes Martial Arts School."

I blinked in shock. "Those actually exist?"

"Yeah. Thing is, Soun-san fell into a real bad funk after Akane's mother died and only started coming out of it when Pops and I arrived to the Tendo household. So beside her father's rare instructions and the few pieces of lore he left behind Akane basically had to train herself. But since she also went to school and there was no one making her train hard..."

"I see." I nodded in understanding. "Akane had talent, but because she wasn't pushed as hard as you her potential wasn't fully awakened."

"You got it. Also, unlike the Saotome Branch the Tendo Branch of Anything Goes is specialized in armed combat: Akane is very good with any sort of weapon, especially improvised ones, but because of her temper she has a tendency to default to her fists. It's something I helped her getting over with through the years, although she retained a very mean punch."

"Through the years, uh?" I grinned. "Does that mean at the end you married Akane?"

"Yep." Ranma nonchalantly replied.

I knew it!

"Along with Shampoo and Ukyo."

What?!

"You married all three of them?" I blurted out. "How? I mean, how did you manage that without a bloodbath?"

"Not easily, believe me. I almost had my head chopped off more than once in the same day." Ranma made a distressed face at the memory. "Anyway, everything began when I went to the Cat Cafè alone to eat some ramen. Shampoo and Mousse were out doing deliveries and it was near closing time so it was just me and Cologne. I was feeling down because for the entire past week I have been haunted by misfortune - I'll spare you the details, suffice to say a lot of hits to my head were involved - so when the old ghoul asked what was wrong I more or less started spilling my guts out without a care. I... don't really remember everything I said." Ranma rubbed the back of his head in a slightly embarrassed manner. "But I know I complained how my messed-up love life was the cause of most of my problems and how, if I could just fix it somehow, I could finally started taking back control of my life. That's when the old ghoul said."

He imitated Cologne's usual expression as best as he could. It wasn't perfect, but it almost made me burst out laughing.

"Future son-in-law, if you're willing to listen to the wisdom of your elders I have a solution that fits your needs. So I replied." Ranma switched to an annoyed expression. "Oh yeah? And what would this solution be? I fully expected her to tell me to marry Shampoo and follow them back to China."

I held my breath. "Instead...?"

"Instead she said a single word." Ranma raised a finger. "Polygamy."

"..." I made a face if I just saw something extremely embarrassing. That took guts to say, I admit it, but then again Cologne was a centuries old master martial artist. "I can imagine how you reacted."

"Of course I looked at her like she was crazy." Ranma snickered. "But before I could put my current thoughts into words, and believe me I had the mother of all scathing remarks ready on the tip of my tongue, the old ghoul continued talking. And that, well, that was when I started listening. Without interrupting her."

Ranma listening quietly while someone else explain?Ranma Saotome?

Madness.

"I know, right?" He chuckled. "But consider she was the best teacher I ever had. I mean it's not that hard when compared to the likes of Pops and the old freak, but she was still scarily competent. She talked about bonds, how people grow closer to each other as they go through experiences together. How martial artists forger ever stronger bonds between each other as they bare their souls in combat and risk their lives together against a single opponent. How young people like me are almost always idiots when it comes to those things because we're ignorant as a rock, and dedicated martial artists who neglected even the most basic of social skills in order to get better at martial arts even more so. How watching us young people being complete idiots had been entertaining until then, but she was aware things couldn't continue like that indefinitely."

I opened my mouth, but then closed it. "So basically, first she gave a life lesson and then she insulted everyone, you included? And you let continue?" I said after a few seconds.

"It's not like it was that strange for the old ghoul. I asked her if she was going somewhere: she looked me straight in the eyes, she had one hell of a glare, and inquired which people currently part of my life I would be happy to never see again."

"The Kuno family."

"I immediately spoke those exact words without even thinking. Not that my wish was ever granted..." he grumbled. "Then of course Happosai, Mousse, Taro, Maomolin-"

I blinked in surprise. "The ghost cat?"

Ranma shuddered. "Yeah. The hellish beast had taken to return to Nerima every now and then, always with a new hare-brained scheme to finally get a wife. Obviously they never worked, but I ended up involved every. Freaking. Time. Anyway, after that I kinda stumbled and couldn't nominate anyone else. I mean yes Pops was annoying, Nabiki was greedy, Soun-san blamed me everytime Akane was upset, Hinako-sensei was annoying, Tsubasa wasdoublyannoying, Pops wasPops, but... The thought of a life without them just didn't feel right."

"They had become your world, and even when they were annoying they made everything seem more real." I shamelessly stole from the main theme of Persona 4.

"Uh. Now that you said it describes well what I was feeling at the time." Ranma mused. "So anyway, after I trailed off and fell silent the old ghoul just chuckled in a knowing manner and told me figuring out how to things may evolve and plan accordingly is one of the traits that separate a boy from a man. Immediately after that she added the Cafè was closing and to get the hell out of there because they don't accept freeloaders. Took me a few hours afterwards to realize she didn't ask for the bill because she already took out the money from my wallet." The young martial artist grumbled. "Anyway, that was how everything started. The rest... eh, I'm tired of talking. I'll continue another day."

"It's alright, thank you for telling me." It was an enlightening tale: who knew it would beCologneof all people to put Ranma on the harem path? Was it just self-interest, maybe hoping to add more of Ranma's descendents to the Amazon tribe's strength, or was she genuinely worried about everyone's future? Truly a fascinating question.

Walking back to the bookshelf that had all the DVD cases I looked over my choices before deciding on the one with the first four seasons of Highschool DxD. Of course it was the uncut version. "Wanna see some of Issei's adventures?"

"The pervert? Might as well, it may be interesting." When I walked back to the case however Ranma blinked his eyes in disbelief. "Hold on: why does that look like the cover for a porno?"

"It's a very perverted anime." I answered with the honest truth. "This is the decensored version that was originally aired only via satellite and cable."

"Why does this not surprise me in the slightest?"

I was in the middle of playing on Rito's Playstation One (so many memories! Retro games are fun too), together with Lala and Mikan, when I had the sudden thought I was forgetting something important. What could it be?

Part of the wall suddenly crumbled, revealing a blond man wearing a bone-like armor that made him look like the minion of a Demon King. A small dog was currently gnawing one of his legs. "Lady Lala!" The destroyer of other people's houses shouted. "I finally found you!"

Oh, Zastin: that's what I was forgetting about.

"Hey Zastin!" Lala cheerfully greeted him. "Wanna join us? Earthling video games are fun!"

"Good luck with Dad Rito." Mikan deadpanned as she continued playing.

"Excuse me for a moment." Putting down the controller I slowly stood up, all the while channeling Ranma.

"Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken."

The next moment I was in front of Zastin, where I proceeded to unleash several hundred rapid-fire punches. All aimed at the moron'sfucking face.

"That was my house's wall you just blew a hole into." I said with a menacing tone as I held the barely coherent moron by his undershirt's collar, his face one giant bruise. "How do you plan to repay me for the damage?"

"...Do you accept Standard Galactic Credits...?" He mumbled in a very subdued tone.

Sadly the answer, since Earth has yet to make contact with the galactic community, was negative. Good thing Lala had a tool to repair the wall, though Rito whimpered at the sight of the multi-armed robot.

I was not sure I wanted to know why.

"I see. So that's how it is." Zastin muttered as he stroked his chin, the wounds I inflicted already healed thanks to his alien biology. After the wall was repaired Lala, Zastin and myself moved outside and went to a deserted zone so we could talk without interference. "So you, Lady Lala, fell in love with this eartling called Yuuki Rito, who is a powerful warrior called 'Peacekeeper of Light' who protect other earthlings from dangerous creatures called 'Heartless'. This matches my men's report."

This guy was so gullible. No really, how was he so gullible? And have I mentioned the same dog wasstillchewing his leg?

"That's just how Zastin is."Rito told me."It takes a special kind of personality to bear with Lala's antics without snapping. And it was achild Lala, so I let you imagine the rest."

That sounded painful.

"However. I, Zastin, came here on orders from my liege, the King of Deviluke, to bring you home." The older alien said with a serious expression. "I could not face him, were I to so readily accept your marriage with a previously unknown earthling. While I bore witness to his martial prowess with my very own body, it is still not enough to persuade me."

"Come on Zastin, don't be so stubborn!" Lala pouted. "Just go home and tell Papa I'm not going back. And more importantly, I'm not going to meet any more suitors!!"

"Look." I raised a hand, already knowing where this was going. "I may be green at the whole 'warrior' gig, but I think I know what's on your mind: you want to fight me, right?"

"Correct. What I wish for is a duel to fully gauge your abilities, Peacekeeper of Light." Zastin took out a bone-like hilt, which then ignited to form a green energy blade.

That is to say, a honest-to-Godlightsaber.

'Riku! Is there a Keyblade with an energy blade?!'

"Not to my knowledge."He replied dispassionately, uncaring of how his words crushed my geek dreams.

"Why not?" Pushing the disappointment away I summoned Braveheart. "As long as it's not to the death."

"Fear not. I, Zastin, swear upon my honor that today my blade shall not take a single life." Flamboyant much? Not that I didn't approve.

"Can't we just go back and play video games together? No? Fiiine." Lala pouted. "Rito, don't underestimate Zastin: he's famed as the strongest warrior in all of Deviluke, second only to Papa."

"Got it." As Lala moved back to give us space Zastin and I assumed a ready stance: in my case it was a mix of Riku's standard stance and Ranma's knowledge of the human body to improve my guard and leave no exploitable weaknesses. Zastin may have been a butt monkey in the past, but I knew that despite his utter lack of luck he was incredibly strong. Something that Hyper-Intuition was confirming just by the way he held himself.

"What's this? Do you intend to fight me with an edgeless weapon?" The blond warrior asked, though his guard didn't lower a single bit.

"It may looks like it lacks an edge, but a Keyblade can cut just fine." I answered back with a grin.

"Let me check it then!" He said before dashing forward at incredible speed, energy sword held with only one hand as he slashed down to cleave me in half. Hyper-intuition warned me to not try to fully block it, so I allowed the energy blade to slide over Braveheart's length and redirect the force of the blow away from me. And it was a good thing I did, because even that much was enough to seriously strain my arms.

"Oh boy, a second Ryoga. Try pissing him off, that always worked with Pig Boy."Ranma commented.

That honestly struck me as a really bad idea, at least with my current opponent. And that was why, if I couldn't block-

-All I had to do wasdodge.

Using Flowmotion I used the residual momentum of my parry to spin around and slash at Zastin's left shoulder. He sidestepped and swiped at my legs.

I jumped over his strike, and once airborne I used Ranma's experience to reinforce my muscles with Chi and launch several blows at Zastin's upper body. He parried the majority of them, buta few managed to nick his armor and even slightly cut his collarbone, drawing some bone. I used the last blocked blow as a lever to launch myself backward and land on my feet. "First blood to me."

"Indeed." Zastin didn't looked angry or worried: if anything he was pleased. "Your weapon is indeed sharp. And your skills are even sharper: you were trained in both swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, correct? You compensated almost immediately, but I noticed your aerial assault was more suited to be performed barehanded than with a weapon."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. My respect for Zastin just went up a few notches.

"Now it's my turn to show the skills of planet Deviluke's royal guard commander!" His left hand went to join the right one on the hilt of his weapon. He swung upward with a diagonal slash.

And the whole world was torn apart.

I easily dodged out of the way, but my eyes widened at the long, deep fissure left in the wake of Zastin's attack. It was then I realized he swung his sword with such force the air itself acquired a sharp edge.

In other words, Zastin just usedRazor Windon me. Wow.

I dodged a few more wind blades before switching to a counterattack. "I'm not out of tricks yet!" Calling upon the Thunder Dah ability I shroured myself in electricity and charged at Zastin. He blocked it, but the force of my charge pushed him backward even as he clenched his teeth to endure the electricity flowing into his body.

"Not yet!" Next I used Dark Aura, one of Riku's most famous abilities. Utilizing very short-lived, short-ranged Corridors of Darkness I rushed Zastin from multiple directions, delivering a stab with each one before appearing above him, after which I dashed downward and and drove Braveheart into the ground, generating a shockwave that blew Zastin away.

"Ahahaha!! How magnificent!" Despite the fact he was bleeding from multiple points Zastin jumped back to his feet and charged at me, his strikes even faster than before: i could still dodge them, but finding an opening to fight back was hard. "To think a skilled warrior like you was hiding on such a primitive world! I, Zastin, am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to test my skills against yours!"

"Lacking in sparring partners?" I wondered. Angering Zastin was a bad idea, but distracting him was feasible.

"Unfortunately, in recent years there have been less and less warriors on Deviluke capable of keeping up with me, and my liege kept turning down my humble requests for a spar. But now I finally have the opportunity to go all out!"

Performing a very high jump backwards he spun several time before landing in a runner's stance. "Now, I shall unseal the prodigious techniques that allowed me to stand by my king's side as he conquered the galaxy! Behold!"

A truck rammed into Zastin from the side, the poor guy having landed right in the middle of the street. The alien swordsman was sent flying, falling back to the ground and tumbling several times before slamming head first into a wall.

"Is it over?" Lala asked innocently, showing not even an ounce of worry for Zastin.

Meanwhile, a completely unharmed dog continued to gnaw at his leg.


	7. To Love-ru (3) Chapter Six

Chapter 6

I had no words.

It wasn't like I didn't know how the canon duel went: Rito was supposed to run away while being chased by Zastin, dodging each and every incredibly sharp blow thanks to what I guessed was his immense luck and the increase in physical performances granted by the combined efforts of fear and adrenaline. I even remembered one of said blows cutting into pieces the clothes (and toupee) of a perfectly ordinary salaryman without harming a single hair of his body, which always made me think Zastin was in truth holding back that time. Still, I was willing to bet the perfectly ordinary salaryman that day returned home confused as fuck.

I wasn't even shocked by Zastin, a super powerful alien, getting run over by a truck: a similar scene happened in the manga, with him dodging a car and landing on the rails mere moments before a train rammed into him. The poor guy was unlucky like that, though he was durable and determined enough he could shrug off almost everything: the universe had made Zastin its chewtoy, but there was nothing it could do to break the swordsman from Deviluke.

No. What made me doubt my eyes was the visible side of the truck, over which someone painted a cartoonish, smiling truck hitting an average-looking boy, said boy being flung towards a planet detailed enough to reveal it was not Earth and the words 'Everyone Love Truck-kun!' above the aforementioned scene.

Did... did Zastin just get isekai'ed?

I mean, I knew it was a real thing that really happen because it happened to me too, but that didn't automatically translate to me knowing what to do in case someone was sent to another world right in front of my eyes!

"Calm down Lee." Rito said with a soothing tone, though I could detect he was trying to suppress a snicker. Meanwhile, Ranma wasn't even bothering to try. "Zastin is still here with us, isn't he? Also I doubt that blow was enough to kill him."

'Right! Thank you Rito.' Usually I was quite composed, but the whole 'Truck-kun' part caught me completely flat-footed and made me lose my cool. Luckily it only happened inside my head.

Well, the least I could do was showing myself worried about Zastin. I knew he was too strong to die from that, but as the 'current' Yuuki Rito I should had no way of knowing that. "Are... Are you alright?" I asked as I walked closer to the still unmoving Zastin. I didn't lower my guard however, that would be both stupid and disrespectful in the middle of a duel.

"URRAAAGH!!!" As expected Zastin suddenly jumped back on his feet with a vigor-filled shout, seemly unbothered by the copious amount of blood spilling down his face. "Impressive! To think that until now you subtly redirected the flow of battle so that I would be on that exact precise spot on that exact precise moment... However! You miscalculated! The attack I suffered just now paled in comparison to your previous ones!"

"Wait. Wait." I hastily said while raising both hands. While the misunderstanding was funny I didn't want to build my reputation on false feats. "I swear that wasn't planned. It just so happened that when you jumped back you landed in the middle of a street and a truck, one of the land-based vehicles we earthlings use to move around, was crossing it at that precise moment. Even if it's the middle of the night we're still inside a city, not everyone is sleeping."

"Ah... Is that so? I see." He blinked before nodding resolutely. He immediately believed me? I didn't know if being grateful for the trust or worried about him. Then Zastin surprised me by deactivating his laser blade. "In that case it's my loss, Yuuki Rito."

"Uh... What?" That was the second time I was left without words in as many minutes. Was it a special property of the To Love-Ru universe? "Do you mind telling me why?"

"It was for less than a second- nay, for less than half a second, but I lost consciousness. In that moment I was completely vulnerable, yet you chose to not finish me off. Were this a real battle such an opening would have spelled my doom, so as a warrior this makes it my loss." He raised a fist and nodded with a serious expression, as if ashamed at himself.

"Wow, this guy is really honorable. Or really stupid... You know what, unless he starts blaming us for something that only happened within his imagination this guy is alright in my book." I could feel Ranma's approval, which was not an easy thing to obtain. "Lee, if this guy becomes your sparring partner I'm sure you'll be able to improve massively."

Now that was an idea worth considering. "Fine, I will not shame you by challenging your own sense of honor." With a sigh I let Braveheart fade away. "But I insist that sooner or later we finish our duel in a proper way. I enjoyed fighting against you, Zastin."

"And I against you, Yuuki Rito." Zastin crossed his arms and smiled. "As you are a powerful warrior, and someone who Lady Lala holds in high regard, I shall report back to my liege that we can entrust her to you. However, I need you to know this: whoever marry Lady Lala will one day reign as king of Deviluke, commanding all the worlds in my liege's dominion. That's why the king solicited volunteers from throughout the Milky Way to vie as potential suitors for Lady Lala: I shall respect her decision, but I do not know whether they will do the same."

"Oh yeah? Then tell them this: whoever tries to force Lala to do something she doesn't want to will receive the biggest asskicking of their whole life." Unable to resist the temptation I raised a thumb-up and grinned fiercely. "Believe it!"

Sasuke made a choking sound.

Zastine grinned back as he turned around, his cape flapping in a badass way... that was completely ruined by the dog still gnawing on his leg. Like, holy shit what was that mutt made of?! "It will be my great pleasure to relay your words, Peacekeeper of Light."

With those parting words he walked away. Dude, the dog! Please notice the dog!

"Way to go Rito!" Lala congratulated me. "You won against Zastin! I don't know anyone else but Papa able to do it."

"Thank you, but we were both holding back. He also admitted defeat halfway the duel, so I can't exactly claim I beat him." I knew I could do it, especially if I channeled a powerhouse like Laharl or Issei, but I didn't feel like it was fair to brag about something I had yet to accomplish. I would do it for something minor like an school exam, but a duel was something else entirely. Plus Zastin deserved at least that much respect from me.

"If you say so. Can we go back now? We have yet to defeat the arena's boss, I can't save until we do!"

"Yes, yes. Just a moment Lala, I need to tell you something important first." I raised a hand to get her attention, and when I was sure I had it I continued. "You see Lala, that you like me makes me happy. I like you too and I wouldn't even mind marrying you, but in truth the situation it's more complicated. That's because there's another girl I have liked for a long time now."

Now, feel free to call me manipulative but I wasn't just telling her this for the sake of being honest. I wasn't going to lie of course, but I was all aboard the Harem Plan so I needed to establish the foundations before Momo came to Earth. For that purpose I decided to make establishing a friendship between my possible harem candidates my main goal for now.

Meaning, I needed to get Lala and Haruna to become friends sooner that canon and to sneakily give Haruna the idea that I was okay with having a harem.

"I met her for the first time when I was in Junior High. I think it was just a crush at the time, we boys are easily impressionable at that age. But as time passed and I witnessed her kind, caring and forgiving nature my feelings for her became stronger. Not that I ever confessed them to her." I chuckled in an embarrassed manner. "The point, Lala, is that as a person I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. There are still many things I want to do and experiences I want to make... So, sorry but I can't give you a straight answer right now." I finished with a troubled expression.

"Alright! Then I'll wait until you can!" Lala declared with a smile and a resolute nod.

Made this the third time I was caught flat-footed. "...Just like that?"

"You've been understanding and supportive of my feelings Rito, it's only right I do the same with you." She hugged me. "Our lives has just begun, so let's have tons and tons of fun together!"

"Lady Lalaaaaa!!!" Peke began to cry. "While I wasn't looking you grew up so much! I'm so happy!"

"Gotta agree with Peke here, I didn't remember Lala being so mature at this point of time." Rito muttered in disbelief. "Still, that's a good thing, right Lee?"

'Yeah.' I replied while patting Lala's head... or rather, I tried to but I forgot her hat was Peke's head so all I got were robot's tears all over my hand.

Thank you, universe, for reminding me I was a comedy protagonist.

Do you know that feeling when you wake up and something's different, but in a good way? Like something amazing happened while you were asleep and now your life is all the better for it?

That was the feeling I had the morning after my duel with Zastin. I could feel my body slowly waking up as the rays of the sun bathed my room with their light, but it was so comfortable and warm under the sheets that any desire to leave was sapped just as quickly.

"Good morning Lee." Rito yawned. Do people who are technically dead even need sleep? I guess the answer is yes. "What's this familiar warmth... Right. Unless things changed that much, Lala is currently sleeping in your bed next to you. Try to not freak out."

That woke me up faster than a bucket of cold water. Very slowly, making sure to keep my legs straight and my hands close to my body, I rolled to my right side and faced the left side of the bed. As Rito predicted Lala was sleeping next to me, the sheets barely covering her modesty while leaving her shoulders and a hint of cleavage completely bared. Her pink hair were glistening under the morning light, resembling some kind of precious gemstone; I knew there were some varieties that occur in one or more shades of pink, but I honestly couldn't be bothered to remember the specifics.

But the real kicker? Her lips: they looked so soft and plump, as if just begging to be kissed. And the defenseless expression Lala was making while sleeping peacefully, as if all was right in the world and there was nothing that could worry or harm her... dangerous. That was too dangerous: everything about this set-up was just screaming at me to commit a crime, and I couldn't even say some part of me was against the idea. I thought I learned how to keep my hormones under control, but now I realized they just haven't been stimulated enough before.

"If it helps Peke is sleeping right between you and her."

Right. The robot that was made to see and touch every inch of Lala's naked boy... damn, now I was jealous. I wanted to become a girl's un- "Don't tempt fate you fool! Murphy is real! Real I tell you!" -On second thought, acting mature about it was clearly the best solution.

With great reluctance I rolled to the other side and looked at the clock on my desk: it was already past the time I usually got up, if I didn't hurry I risked to be late. Unless of course I took a shortcut through the rooftops, which would allow me to spend more time in bed.

Even if doing that right now was very bad for my mental health.

You know what? There were merits to being a diligent student, and they suddenly appealed to me.

Ignoring Rito's snickering I stood up and, very gently, tapped Lala's forehead until her eyes fluttered open. "Good morning Lala... And Peke." I added after a short pause.

"Oh, good morning Rito!" Lala yawned. I turned around to open a random drawer when she began sitting up: no matter how much I wanted a free show, I didn't have the time to deal with the physiological response it would cause.

"Not that I mind, but why are you in my bed? And naked at that?" Oh look, pencils: just what I needed!

"I wanted to sleep with you Rito!" She replied like it was completely normal.

"And I can't just be Lady Lala's costume all the time!" Peke protested.

"Got it, got it." And under the pencils... copies of the exams I failed. Or rather, that Rito failed: gotta do something about them. "Look I don't mind sharing rooms with you, just ask me first next time, alright?"

"Sure thing Rito!"

Just then the door opened, and Mikan peeked inside. "Hey Rito, how long are you gonna sleep? It's getting... late..." She trailed off when she noticed Lala. Naked. On my bed.

"Lala said she wants to share rooms with me, so there's no need to prepare the one we keep free for guests." I informed her like it wasn't that big of a deal.

"..." Mikan stared at me with a deadpan expression. "...Just keep the noise down. And don't you dare make me an aunt while I still go to Elementary School." He eventually told me plainly before closing the door.

'Do you think she's in denial or something?'

"Mikan has a remarkable ability to adapt. So maybe. Or maybe not. I sure as heck was not that daring when I was your age."

I slowly realized that answer didn't help me at all.

"Ooh, that's right! I've gotta go out today!" Lala exclaimed. "Peke!"

"Yes Ma'am!"

When the flash of light died down I turned around just in time to see Lala about to step out of the window. "Seeya Rito! I'm going out for a bit!"

"Will you return for dinner?" I asked.

"Of course! Bye bye!" She waved at me, and then flew away once I returned the gesture.

"She's going to see the Principal and get enrolled at Sainan High." Rito told me.

"Yup." I replied.

"We're still going to finally discover what he is?"

"You bet your ass we will!" I did a fist pump.

And then it hit me.

My younger sister showed herself worried I would get a girl pregnant, to the point she explicitly warned me about it while in front of said girl.

It was so embarrassing I could die!!!

Rito and the rest of the Gang kept snickering like hyenas all day, to the point I was very glad to switch place with the brown-haired boy once cleanup duty with Haruna began. It gave me time to think.

"You mean sulking."

"No." I glared at Minato, but he continued to look amused while sipping a slurpee.

"I had a little sister that loved teasing me too, Lee. I know what it feels like." He continued. "Though, Yukari teased me about many topics but never about pregnancy. At least until it happened."

"She probably was too busy 'experimenting' with her boyfriend." A shadow fell over Minato's eyes as he crushed the slurpee in his hands. "Gah! Calm down, I was just joking! I thought it was Yukari who had a sibling complex?!"

"..Sorry, I just acted on reflex. It hasn't happened in years." Minato sighed before taking a napkin and cleaning the mess. "Don't get me wrong, I get along well with Shiina and he made Yukari very happy. Still, when I first found out they were in that 'kind' of relationship some kind of big brother instinct just awakened within me. You know, the type that makes you want to threaten your little sister's male friends?"

"I see, I see." I nodded in a sagely manner, a big grin on my face. "So... Who was the lucky girl?"

"If you're thinking Musubi, then you're correct. Which of course meant the others started trying their hardest to catch up: leading to, among other things, a whole month of nothing but Chinese softshell turtle, acute gastritis and several stomach pumpings."

If I was drinking something I would probably have spat it out. "Dude! I thought you know how to handle a harem?!"

"It wasn't a skill I acquired immediately."

The rest of the day passed without incidents. Lala had dinner with me and Mikan, but she was clearly excited about something and only replied with "It's a surprise!" every time my sister and I asked. Of course I knew what the 'surprise' was, but I didn't want to ruin it. And since the next day was sure to be full of excitement and shenanigans I elected to go to sleep early. I don't need to mention that Lala once again went to sleep next to me, but since I expected it I managed to remain calm despite my pounding heart.

I knew taking things slow was the best choice, but daaaamn!

"Uhmm... So, this is rather sudden..." Our homeroom teacher, Honekawa-sensei, began before class could start. "But I'd like to introduce our new transfer student."

'Here we go.' I thought as I pretended to pay attention like the other students.

"Come on in."

"Okie-dokie!" Lala cheerfully called out before jumping on Honekawa-sensei's back (poor guy) and showing a victory sign. "Yeaaah! Hey there Rito!! Now I'm going to school too!!"

And thus began the first of many unforgettable days at Sainan High.

"Grab that punk!"

"Don't let him get away!"

Though, I would have been more than happy if said unforgettable days didn't continue with me being chased by roughly half of Sainan's male student population as soon as classes ended.

"What did I even do to you?!" I yelled at my pursuers. I was more than fast enough to lose them even while keeping most of my physical abilities a secret, but since we were still inside the school I had to occasionally slow down in order to avoid running over innocent bystanders.

"Rito! You bastard! I won't forgive you!" Kenichi shouted, tears running down his cheeks. "You've got Haruna-chan, yet you dare to have such a cute girl live in your own house!"

"I never ever held hands with a girl!" Another guy I never saw before cried out.

"I'm telling you! We're distant relatives! What happened to the bro code?!"

"FUCK THE BRO CODE!"

"YOU GUYS SUCK!"

So this was what being so popular other people were envious of me feel like. Sadly it was something I would need to grow used to, after all I was planning to reach even more enviable heights in life.

That didn't stop the current me from being very pissed off. I didn't care about the others, but Kenichi will need to try very hard to earn my forgiveness.

Shit! Why did this has to happen right after I promised Lala I would protect her?

During lunch time I stealthy dragged Lala to the rooftop so we could talk without worrying about eavesdroppers. "So the surprise was you becoming a transfer student Lala. Still, did you really have to tell other people you're living together with me? Not that I mind, mind you, but here in Japan something like that is bound to make people gossip."

"Gossip? About what?" She innocently asked while tilting her head in a cute manner.

"Err... It's kind of complicated." I hesitated. "It's a matter of social conventions, something Japanese society holds in high regard. I'll explain properly once we have enough time, for now please tell others we're distant relatives. Trust me, it'll spare us a lot of headaches in the future."

"Uhm... I don't really understand." She tapped a finger on her lips before smiling. "But I trust you Rito! I'll do as you say."

"Thank you Lala. Say, how did you even manage to get through the transfer process in the first place?" I asked despite already knowing the answer. "With you being an alien and all?"

"Ooh, that was easy! When I asked that man called a 'Principal' he said: 'What a cutie! Consider it done'." She imitated the Principal's manner of speaking with a high-pitched tone. "And here I am!"

"Yup. Same old Principal: what an irreducible pervert."

"At least your own Principal wasn't a Hawaii-obsessed pervert who constantly ambush you with handheld shears and pineapple bombs."

"And here I thought my own school life was crazy..." Tsuna muttered.

"If this is the norm I'm glad I never went to school at all." Riku firmly declared.

"But don't worry Rito!" Lala continued. "I didn't tell anyone I'm from Deviluke. Except Haruna of course."

"We can trust Sairenji-san, it's the other students and the adults that I have doubts about: if they find out aliens are real it'll be complete chaos."

"The problem isn't that simple!" Peke, his head now taking the form of Lala's hairpin, made his own opinion known. "Lady Lala is a princess of Deviluke! If that went public there could be attempts at her life! I witnessed firsthand how strong Lord Rito is, but he's still a single person! He cannot protect you all the time Lady Lala!"

"Hey you! Don't write me off yet!" I protested. "It's true I'm alone, but it's nothing that cannot be overcome with some preparation and discretion. No matter the threat, I promise I'll protect Lala!"

And yet here I was, being chased through the school while Haruna gave Lala a tour of the school facilities.

You know what? Desperate times call for desperate measures: taking a sharp turn around a corner I made sure there were no witnesses before pointing a finger behind me. "Water!"

Instead of using it offensively I left the conjured water spread over the floor behind me. When my pursuers appeared from behind the corner they missed the wet floor, causing the ones in the front to slip and fall down. Hearing their shouts of surprise and pain as they ended up in a dogpile I suppressed a laugh, not wanting to give them hints I was to blame for their misfortune.

Once I was in the clear I opened a window and looked outside. Seeing that it was just the first floor and nobody was paying attention I jumped out and landed behind the shrubbery that seemed to grow around most Japanese schools: very convenient for hiding purposes, and it made the buildings look better. Then with a smooth motion I stepped on the partially covered pathway that connected the school's different buildings and began walking as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Was I good or not?

"Ritooo! Perfect timing!" Being called by Lala was sudden, but since she was exactly who I was searching for I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. She walked closer to me and handed me a baseball bat. "Could you pinch hit for me?"

"I remember this: that was when Motemitsu-sempai first tried to hit on Lala." Rito mumbled. "Man, the poor guy had a horrible luck with girls... not that he didn't deserve some of it."

'Was it the same guy who went as far as putting an hidden camera in the swimming pool to take photos of girls in their swimsuits?'

"Bingo."

Well then. It seemed I needed to deliver some karma. "Sure thing Lala."

After persuading the pink-haired alien to not add special features to the bat I took position in the batting spot. I never seriously played baseball before, but I knew the basics.

"You are pinch-hitting, huh?! Ha ha ha! don't make me laugh!!" Motemitsu laughed, which contradicted what he just said. "You're gonna get a hit off me, a guy who's destined for the big leagues?!"

"To give credit where it's due he did manage to go that far... Even if the mags always talked more about his love life, or lack thereof, than his accomplishments on the field." Rito informed me. Good for Motemitsu I guess, even if it was still far in the future.

"A total amateur like you doesn't stand a chance!!" He took a pitching position before throwing the ball with a loud shout.

It was, indeed, a fast throw. A good one too.

But I had in my head a guy who knew Baseball Martial Arts.

"Baseball Martial Arts' Secret Technique Number Three." I whispered under my breath before swinging the bat. "Pitcher Shot!"

Instead of opposing the ball's force I redirected and deflected it back at Motemitsu, allowing him to taste the effects of his own throw. It shot directly above his head, making his hat fly away, before turning into a home run.

"Since when were you under the impression..." I rested the bat on my shoulder as I stared smugly at a gobsmacked Motemitsu. "That I was an amateur?"

"Eeeh! Rito's so coool!" Lala cheered, and even Haruna looked impressed.

"Are you Yuuki Rito?" A middle-aged policeman asked me, a relieved-looking Zastin standing behind him. "This person was searching for you."

"Uh... Yes, I'm Yuuki Rito. Thank you officer." Once the policeman left I looked at Zastin with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"I got lost." He admitted with some shame. I understand not knowing the city's layout yet, but needing to be escorted by the police like a lost old woman? That was really embarrassing. "Can we move to a more secluded place? What I have to say is for your ears only."

I nodded. "This way."

I lead him behind the school and within the woods that still covered part of Sainan City's less developed areas. A staple of school life manga, though I supposed it helped purifying the air. "So, what is it? It's about Lala?"

"Indeed. I've come with a message addressed directly to you from Lady Lala's father, the King of Deviluke." He revealed.

"Lala's dad, uh? What kind of person he is?"

"He's a truly great man." Zastin declared, speaking of his liege with deep-rooted respect. "He reigns over a galaxy once torn apart by war, now united by his hand."

He was also a perverted midget who only wanted to play around all day and never work. I thanked whatever god was out there that none of his daughters inherited that part of his character.

"Listen carefully." Zastin took out a spiked, evil-looking object and tossed it in the air.

It suddenly stopped mid-air, the crystal-like part on the top detaching to hover above it. "Greetings... Rito Yuuki." The registration of a scary-sounding voice began to play.

'Voice changer?' I asked Rito.

"Voice changer." He confirmed.

"I have been informed as to what transpired from Zastin. I hereby acknowledge you as one of Lala's fiancès. Though it it said that earthlings are weak, according to Zastin you appear to be the exception. Furthermore, you are the first man to whom Lala has shown favor. I look forward to discovering your caliber as a man."

Like hell he was! He just wanted Lala to get married as soon as possible to have a valid excuse to dump all responsibilities on her husband. I hoped his wife spanked the little shit's ass good.

"Remember this: in due course I will decide on a time for the marriage ceremony." I mentally flipped him the bird. "Until that day comes, stand firm alongside Lala. Word of your existence has already spread throughout the galaxy. Thus, you may be certain that the other marriage candidates will appear before you, sooner or later, and attempt to wrest Lala away from you."

I wanted to say Lala wasn't a damn prize in a competition, but it was pointless to talk back to a registration. So I settled to crossing my arms and staring at the crystal with a disapproving expression.

"If you can safely stand your ground beside her until the time of the marriage ceremony, then you shall be my successor. However, should you lose her... should you fall short of my expectations..."

'Shorter than you? Quite the difficult task.' I mentally snickered along with Rito.

However, Gid's next words completely wiped any trace of humor from my and Rito's minds.

"Your life will be crushed, along with the lives of all who dwell around your tiny, insignificant star!! Remember this well!"

The registration ended and the crystal reattached itself to the evil-looking object.

"I should tell you this: His Highness is deadly serious about it." Zastin told me, seemly uncaring of the dog gnawing at one of his ears. "There was once a person who took an impudent attitude before my liege. He offended His Highness and thus was obliterated, along with his entire planet. In summary... Should you fail to live up to His Highness' expectations the Earth will be annihilated, leaving not a trace behind."

"Hey, Zastin." I began with an even tone. My head was lowered, the shadow casted by my hair covering my eyes. "Do you know how many people live on Earth?"

"How many people live on Earth? I'm afraid I haven't studied enough of your culture to know such a number."

"7.7 billions. That's how many people live on Earth." I told him. "Among them there are my parents, my little sister, the rest of my family, my friends, my fellow students and everyone else who, for better or for worse, is or was part of my life. And your king just threatened to kill them all."

I looked up: I didn't know what kind of face I was making, but it made Zastin stiffen and the dog's fur stand up. When I spoke next I was completely in sync with Rito, with the others leading their full support. "I don't care if he's king of the galaxy or the whole universe, if he touches them he's dead!"

"..." For a while Zastin didn't say anything as we stared at each other. He had regained his composure and was the most serious I have ever seen him. Even the dog wasn't moving a single muscle, waiting to see how it would end.

"...His Highness has my complete and utter loyalty." Zastin finally spoke. "However, I will not fault you for wanting to protect those you love. I call only pray that the worst outcome never comes to pass, for both ours and Lady Lala's sake."

I supposed that was the best compromise I could hope for.

"There's another thing you need to know: this morning an unidentified spacecraft breached Earth's atmosphere and landed here in Japan. There are no laws forbidding travel to and tours of Earth for civilians, but the timing's too good: without a doubt it's another of Lady Lala's marriage candidates, who came here to steal her away from you. Be on your guard, Yuuki Rito."

"I remember him: Ghi Bree, that two-faced space chameleon." Rito was seething. "Lee, I ask that you let me handle him: I still have a score to settle for what he did to Haruna."

I didn't even need to think about it before replying. 'He's all yours.'


	8. To Love-ru (4) Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

"On a not-completely unrelated note..." Zastin continued after telling me about the spaceship that likely belonged to Ghi Bree. For some reason he was staring straight into my eyes with an inquisitive look, a hand stroking his chin. The dog went back to gnawing at Zastin's head, though he kept observing us with one eye. "That's an interesting change to your irises. Is it another of the abilities granted to you as the Peacekeeper of Light?"

Change to my irises? What the-wait, could it be...? "Are they red now, with three strange symbols around the pupil?"

"Indeed."

That settled it. I needed a mirror or to snap a picture of my own face with the phone to be completely sure, but it seemed I had unlocked the Sharingan. Now the next question was: how the fuck did it happen without me channeling Sasuke?

"Really?" I heard the Ninja scoffing. "Bastard king just threatened your family, friends and everything you hold dear with death, and you're surprised you unlocked the Sharingan? How much do you really remember about my family's history?"

Oh, that's right: Uchiha tends to be very attached to their family and those they consider as such, so the onslaught of powerful emotions related to them was originally the trigger to unlock the Sharingan. It caused a massive problem since it works especially well with negative emotions and there were plenty of those in the world before the Fourth Shinobi War, causing many Uchiha to enter a downward spiral of negativity. I knew that much at least.

However, there was just one small problem. 'I'm not an Uchiha.' I pointed out to Sasuke.

"No, but you have my Chakra. Channeling allows you to use our skills, but the attributes that make using them possible in the first place are already there." He explained. "While I was at the Academy I read a few records about Uchiha members awakening their Sharingan even before being taught how to access their Chakra. Those episodes were all related to their family suffering some kind of tragedy, so not something I could use even if I wanted to."

That was useful to know, but also kind of dark once you read between the lines. Still, I felt it wasn't proper for me to point that out: even if he appeared to me like a teenager again Sasuke was an adult, so he surely had plenty of time to come to terms with it.

And even then, I now had the Sharingan! Said realization caused my inner geek to laugh like a saturday morning supervillain, and for once I felt like indulging it a little. "To your previous question: yes it is, I just didn't expect it to activate so suddenly." I told Zastin before partially covering my eyes with a hand. "Thank you for the message and the warning, Zastin. Now if you don't mind I would like to be left alone: I need to do some meditation in order to change my eyes back to normal, I can't go through my daily life with them like this."

I probably could just pretend it was because of contact lens since Naruto existed in this world, but that would scream 'otaku!' too much for my tastes. Cosplay was fine and all during conventions where it's expected to find people dressed like that, but it didn't fit during normal school hours. Source: the Internet.

"Of course. Good luck Yuuki Rito, please keep watching over Lady Lala." Sweeping his cape like a fantasy hero Zastin turned in the opposite direction and began to walk away, the stray dog sitting comfortably on his shoulders as it kept chewing on his head. Also, unless I was mistaken he was walking away from the city rather than towards it.

'He's going to get hopelessly lost, uh?' I thought.

"Yup." Rito answered, without delay or mercy.

"So he really is a second Ryoga, but with a better temper. Can't say I dislike it." Ranma commented.

After Zastin left I spent a few minutes alone in the woods, learning how to turn off the Sharingan and keep it from activating against my will. Luckily Sasuke knew exactly how to do both, so it was quite simple.

He also mentioned, from the little he could felt at least, that my own Chakra seemed to have a heavy imbalance of Yin Chakra compared to Yang Chakra, which was likely due to me having more than one person inside my mind. According to him said imbalance would make Genjutsu and similar techniques stronger and easier to use, and physical techniques like Taijutsu harder. A good payoff since I was not limited to just using Chakra, but he warned me to practice all Chakra-based techniques outside of combat in order to get used to the altered difficulty compared to Sasuke's own experience. Which was perfectly good advice as far as I was concerned.

"This soup tastes so good!!" Lala complimented Mikan's food as the three of us ate dinner.

"It's Shijimi Clam miso soup." My little sister explained as she finished to put down the plates with her own food. Since she was the one cooking Mikan usually was the last one to start eating, but since she was quick and efficient the delay was usually very small. Not to mention both me and Rito always began eating very slowly in order to let her catch up.

"Woow!" Lala took another spoonful of soup. "Earth's food is super tasty Mikan!!"

"Tsk, tsk. That's not quite right, Lala-san." Mikan answered with a smug smile, lithe index finger waving left and right. "It's really all about the skills of the chef."

Yes, it turned out Mikan put a lot of pride in her cooking skills, thought it was honestly earned in my opinion. Not that I had much to add to the current conversation, as I was already busy with another one. 'What's your plan, Rito?'

"My fist, the space chameleon's face." He answered, completely serious. "Or rather, that's the end result. I know tomorrow Ghi Bree will try to take Haruna hostage, and I would like to avoid that happening in the first place."

'No objections here.' I could see the benefit of following some of the so-called 'stations of canon', to an extent, but there was absolutely nothing to be gained from letting Haruna be in danger. Not to mention it was dishonest, morally reprobable and many other things I wanted nothing to do with. 'Do you know when it's supposed to happen, and how?'

"Ghi is going to use his shapeshifting abilities to take the place of Sasuga, the tennis teacher, and make up an excuse to be alone with Haruna in the club room. I'm pretty sure he has already took Sasuga's place by now, but just to be sure it's probably best we confront him in the morning, before P.E. classes start." Rito explained. "Ghi talks big but in truth he's a total wimp: I could beat him even with my old normal self, so as we're now it's a foregone conclusion. The only problem is that he has some kind of alien machine with mechanical tentacles, and it may not be the only one. So I want to be ready for a possible unpleasant surprise."

'That's understandable, after all you're going to face the almighty threat known as tentacles.' I snickered within my mind while using the cup to hide my smile. I could picture Rito flipping me the bird, though there was no real heat in the gesture. 'Who do you want to channel?'

It was something I discovered by chance while training: unlike what the description of the [Decavirate] Skill said I wasn't the only one who can channel the members of the Gang and their skills. Rito could do it too, though his limit seemed to be only one person at a time. Tsuna thought it was because Rito is this body's original owner, or rather its original identity, which coupled with the strong link between our Hearts caused a sort of 'overlap' effect. All of it was of course him trying to put the feelings he got from Hyper Intuition into words, which was not always easy even for a skilled user like Tsuna. But it worked, and that was enough for now.

"Ranma. I already asked him and he agreed: nothing like a master martial artist to give someone a good beating, right?"

'Right. A bit overkill, but perfectly justified in this case.' I replied while picking up my glass to drink some water.

"Hey, Rito!" Mikan called out to me.

"Huh?" I managed to reply before the cool liquid reached my open lips, forcing me to abort talking in favor of swallowing. To my eternal shame talking with my mouth full was a skill I had yet to master.

"When are you and Lala getting hitched?" My little sister asked me, as if talking about the weather. Even though the sly smile on her lips betrayed her true intentions.

Demonstrating all of my inherent coolness and style I raised a single eyebrow, quickly finishing my drink and putting the glass back on the table. "We agreed it's too soon to consider stuff like marriage, so the both of us have decided to wait and see how things develop." I told her in a very mature manner. "Why do you ask? I thought you didn't want to be an aunt?"

She shrugged. "I'll be in Junior High the next school term." It was a huge surprise discovering Mikan is one year older than in the anime I once saw: right now she was twelve years old instead of eleven, meaning this was her last year in Elementary School. "Besides, it's usually just the two of us here. Lala-san has really brightened up the house: I'm so happy!" Mikan finished with a bright smile.

That Mikan was happy made me happy too, though I didn't quite understand what she meant with her first sentence. However before I could reflect or inquire more about her motivations Lala called out to me, a towel in her hand. "Ritooo! Dinner's all done now, so let's take a bath together!"

A bath together? Me and Lala?

For a brief instant my brain suffered a short-circuit, only for it to be immediately jump-started again by Issei's frantic voice. "SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES!!! Duuude! When a gorgeous girl says she wants to be naked before you answer yes! Then you go down on your knees and thank your parents for giving birth to you!"

'Stop tempting me, you... you... you literal devil!' I mentally shouted in embarrassment. Not because I was against the idea, far from it, but because I was too eager: it made me feel like I was being controlled by my hormones, and the thought was like a cold shower down my back. The last thing I wanted was to be overly creepy and treat the people around me like sexual objects. It was one thing to watch or read hentai, which were works of fiction made so that people could indulge their own fantasies.

Sadly, I was in the (mostly) unique position of having said works of fiction now suddenly being very much real: I was fighting a battle against the part of myself that doesn't stop to think, and I could obtain victory only by working really hard for it.

God forbids than growing up be an easy process.

"Ritooo?" Lala called as she waved a hand in front of my face. "Did you hear me? Are you sleeping?"

"I'm awake." I answered evenly. "Just fighting an inner battle against my libido."

"Whaaat? What's wrong Rito?" Mikan grinned. "You don't have the guts?"

"It's less about their presence and more about their amount, if you get what I'm saying."

By her puzzled look she didn't, but in a way it was comforting.

"Uhmmm, I don't really get what you're talking about." Lala muttered with a confused tone. "Unless, you don't want to take a bath together with me, Rito?"

There was no way I could answer 'no' to that question. "Sure." I answered as I slowly stood up, regulating my breath and shifting slightly into the Soul of Ice: a bit of a cheat, but this situation called for drastic measures. "Let's go."

"Here's your shampoo Lady Lala."

"Thank you Peke." Lala grabbed the bottle and poured a generous amount of the cherry-colored care product over her hair.

Yeah, I failed to take into account the fact Lala's clothes are both a sentient robot and apparently waterproof, so why should say apparent sentient robot wait outside the bathroom when he and Lala normally spend both day and night joined at the hips?

And that was why any desire from my part to enjoy the sight of the very naked and incredibly gorgeous girl sitting within my bath as she lathered her long hair was dampened by the presence of her robotic butler standing guard next to Lala to better and more quickly comply to her requests. Meanwhile I was sitting in the bathtub, Lala having told me to go ahead since her own cleaning was going to last a lot longer than mine.

Why it's always the little, seemly irrelevant details that fool me in the end? As a certain spiky-haired boy was fond of saying, such misfortune.

"Thank you for accepting Rito: it feels weird taking a bath by myself." Lala happily explained. "I always had lots of attendants with me when I took them in the past, after all."

How very much like the princess she, indeed, was. "Not a problem." I waved her off before pointing at the bald robot. "Still, a question: doesn't Peke count as an attendant?"

"Eeeh? But it's not the same thing." She blinked owlishly. "Peke's a robot, while you're a person Rito."

"Lady Lala!" Said robot fell to one side, eyes looking like they would cry rivers if only were they capable to. "Please have mercy!"

Ouch. I didn't know if it was because of her naivety, but Lala could be surprisingly cruel at times.

"I mean, I'm the one who made him. Doesn't that make him, like, a part of myself?" The pink-haired girl continued while tapping her chin with one finger.

"Lady Lala!" Recovering instantly from his funk Peke jumped on Lala's back and hugged her neck. "I am humbled by your kind words! I swear to be with you forever and ever! No matter what you ask of me, I shall do it!"

"Good, then since you're already there lather the rest of my hair for me."

"Yes ma'am!"

...Uh. Maybe I would only get to watch and not touch this time, but I can't say I was completely disappointed. After all, I got to see a side of Lala that very few people knew about.

"Hello Sasuga-sensei." Rito called out with fake politeness and an even faker smile on his lips. I was watching from the back seat together with the Gang, waiting to see how things would go.

"Mh?" The brown-haired teacher looked behind his shoulders at being addressed, caught in the middle of putting down a sport bag. His eyes widened slightly, betraying surprise and alarm for an instant before he schooled his features once more. "You're... Yuuki Rito-kun, correct? May I ask what you're doing here in the Tennis Club Room, especially now that you should be in class?"

That was true: just before reaching the school I told Lala I had something to take care of before joining her in class. After she left I gave control to Rito, who then used the Umi Sen Ken to move around unnoticed and settle in wait in front of the Tennis Club Room. The moment Sasuga appeared and walked inside Rito followed after him. Right now they were alone inside the club room, which suited our plans just fine.

"Good question Sensei. The truth is, I caught wind of a nasty pest lurking close to the school so I decided to take care of it before it can become an hindrance." Rito answered, still with a polite tone. "But to do that I need your help, Sensei."

"My help?" He blinked in confusion. "I don't understand why you would come to me, Yuuki-kun: I'm the tennis teacher, not the janitor. And what would this 'nasty pest' you're talking about be?"

"Oh, just a two-faced space chameleon called Ghi Bree." Rito finally dropped the polite act, grinning widely when the disguised alien's facade cracked from the shock of hearing his name. "I know it's you and not the real Sasuga-sensei, so cut the crap!"

Ghi remained silent for a few more seconds before chuckling, lips stretching into a cruel sneer. "Keh heh heh! To be discovered so soon... Have I underestimated you Earthlings? How terribly embarrassing! Keh heh heh! Hrahahaha!!!"

With a sudden shout Ghi's body began to change. Unlike the anime the process was disturbing both to look at and hear: the flesh flowed like hot wax, making a sound like many strips of cloth being dragged over a smooth surface, and I could hear his bones being continuously broken and set back into new configurations.

Eventually, thankfully, it ended: Ghi's new face was quite gross, being a cross between a chameleon and the type of aliens Akira Toriyama likes to draw. The skin was a bright green that reminded me of a poisonous frog, while a long and thick purple tongue was now hanging from his open mouth. Moreover his toes were now longer, to the point they ripped a hole in his shoes.

"Damn, taking a human form sure is an involved process." Ghi commented with a shrill voice. "How did you know about my [Mimesis]? I was sure I copied Sasuga's form perfectly."

Rito scoffed. "His form, yes. Your impersonification of him, however, let a lot to be desidered. A lot of people could tell something was wrong with Sasuga, so I naturally grew suspicious."

It was a lie of course, but it was a believable one.

"Is that so? How vexing." The shapeshifting alien commented while stroking his tongue as if it was a beard, uncaring of the saliva now coating his fingers. Just how much gross could he get? "Maybe I should have spent more time observing how Sasuga behaves... No matter. My goal was to drag you into a trap, so why complaining when you already did it by yourself? Keh heh heh!"

Ghi Bree took a step forward, trying to appear threatening. Sadly for him neither Rito nor I were fooled by his act: the only risk came from him using some kind of hidden tool, and that was why I felt Rito watching the alien's hands with attention. "I will say this just once: Yuuki Rito, relinquish Lala to me! I shall be the one to marry Lala and become the successor to the king of Deviluke, not some slimeball like you."

"First: fuck you. Second: no. Third: the only slimeball here it's you." Rito replied while counting off his fingers, an enraged expression on his face. "Now release the real Sasuga and leave Earth before I beat your ass six ways to Sunday."

Ghi's eyes widened in disbelief before the green alien became livid with anger. Literally in this case: the skin of his face first turned purple and then shifted to a pale green. "You little-! How dare you refuse me, the mighty Ghi Bree?! You shall pay for your insolence!"

Then he did something I was not expecting: he leaped forward, one fist clenched and ready to strike Rito. Why? It was obvious any kind of physical confrontation would instantly reveal the truth of his charade, so maybe he was hoping to intimidate Rito by pretending a willingness to use violence?

Too bad for him, both Rito and I were all too aware this was a complete farce.

That was what I thought until Hyper Intuition suddenly started screaming 'DANGER!' mere moments before Ghi's fist reached Rito. Reacting through the instincts he was borrowing from Ranma Rito squatted down, narrowly avoiding the fist as it soared above his head-

-And crashed into the metal door with a loud bang, the impact denting it outward.

Holy shit! "I thought Ghi Bree was a total wimp?!"

'I thought so too!' Rito mentally screamed as he jumped away, now very much wary of the green alien. 'This guy flinched back from me making a scary face and started screaming about dying after stumbling and hitting his head! He shouldn't be this strong!'

"Have you two forgot this is supposed to be an alternate version of the world you're familiar with?" Tsuna slowly shook his head, like a teacher disappointed in a bright student that made a very easy mistake. "Clearly this is another of the differences between the two universes. Furthermore, you should never underestimate your opponent!"

"Of all the differences possible, it has to be this one?!" I yelled in frustration as Rito dodged a vicious kick that cracked the floor.

'That's my line!'

"Less complaining, more punching." Ranma urged Rito. "Can't you see how many openings he has? Take advantage of them!"

'Guh! Alright!' Flooding his body with Chi Rito dodged Ghi's next blow and stepped inside his guard, where he proceeded to deliver several fast punches to the taller alien's chest. Spit flew out of Ghi's mouth as he stammered back, only for a rising palm strike to slam into his chin. Only luck saved Ghi from having his tongue severed, the blow lifting up and slamming his body into the room's opposite wall. "Not so tough now, uh? What's wrong you green creep, this is all you got?" Rito mocked Ghi in a very Ranma-like way, though the confidence he was projecting was half-faked.

"You dirty little savage!" Ghi Bree snarled as he pushed himself back to his feet. His chest was bruised and there was a thin line of blood dripping from his lips, but beside that he looked fine. I wondered how much punishment he could take. "You dare doing this to me, the strongest warrior of Planet Balke?! I'm the one who is destined to rule the galaxy! To stand at the pinnacle of strength! Those who dare stand in my way... shall witness the true face of Hell!!!"

Releasing a powerful bellow Ghi Bree leaned forward and flexed his muscles. With a sound akin to bamboo being crushed his whole body swelled to obscene proportions, completely destroying his clothes save for the part covering his crotch. He gained not only another foot of height, but also several sharp spikes around his body. Finally the nails of both hands and feet were replaced by wicked-looking claws.

"This... is my ultimate form." Ghi growled, his voice now several times deeper than before. "Only the most talented Balkean warriors can achieve this state, which allows them to unlock their true potential. Be honored, Yuuki Rito: you're but a worm, and yet I, the mighty Ghi Bree, shall use my full power to crush you!"

"So say the one who has yet to land a single hit on this worm." Rito answered with a deadpan. "Maybe that's your strategy? Forcing me to hear your annoying voice until I fall asleep? It must be, you clearly are one of those types completely incapable of hitting a target unless they're standing still."

"YUUUKIII RIIITOOO!!!" Ghi bellowed in anger. He grabbed a locker with one hand, the metal folding like paper under his grip, and threw it at Rito with the force and speed of a cannonball.

Rito dodged it, the locker blowing a hole into the wall, and started using both the floor and the ceiling to bounce around like a ball in a pinball machine designated by a lunatic. Ghi tried to hit him, but for all his strength the green alien was depressingly slow when compared to a master of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

"Grand Master, thank you very much." Ranma pointed out with obvious pride.

Ghi's downfall was sealed when he punched downward with both fists, only for Rito to vanish before appearing back above him. "Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken!" He shouted while launching hundreds of blows so swiftly they looked like a single strike to most, all of them aimed at Ghi's head. Already unbalanced the alien fell down on his face, which was then drilled into and through the floor.

"And for the grand finish!" Once the onslaught of strikes finally ended Rito jumped upward, bounced off the ceiling and dived back towards Ghi, yellow Chi gathering into his hands. Was he really going to-?! "Mōko Takabisha!!!"

The ki blast slammed into the green alien with the forced of a freight train, drilling his body even further into the floor. Using the recoil Rito landed out of the impact zone, taking deep breaths to recover all the stamina he used until then.

"You know, I do not believe using the Mōko Takabisha inside a building is a very smart idea. What if there was a collapse?" I pointed out with some trepidation.

'I took a calculated risk, I didn't want to drag out our fight too much. What if someone hear all the noise and come here to investigate?' Rito argued back. 'Also, the tennis club room is just a shelter, less likely to crumble than a bigger building.'

"Alright, you have a point." I reluctantly conceded. "Putting that aside... is the chameleon knocked out or what?"

Very slowly and cautiously Rito approached the large hole in the floor, ready to leap out of range at the first suspicious movement. Thankfully nothing happened, and once he was close enough Rito saw a completely still Ghi Bree, his body covered in wounds and burns. Pulling his head to the side revealed the face of someone who was knocked out cold, and the slight breathing confirmed he was still alive.

"Satisfied now?" Ranma asked Rito.

'...Yeah.' He replied, taking a few steps back before falling on his ass. 'You know, the Ghi Bree I met was one awful bastard, treating Haruna and Lala as if they were just tools. This one, on the other hand... I don't know, maybe it's because he stood his ground and fought until the very end but I don't dislike him just as much. Even if he was very arrogant.'

I kind of agreed with Rito: this version of Ghi Bree gave me a different impression compared to the one in the anime. Not quite respect, but not quite scorn either: it was a complicated feeling like that.

Still, at the moment there was something more urgent to consider. "Not to rush you Rito, but what about doing some damage control?"

"Right, right." He replied. Taking out our phone he dialed Lala's number. "Lala? It's me, Rito. Could you leave class with an excuse and come to the tennis club room? I need your help."

"And don't come back ever again!" Lala chastised the still unconscious Ghi Bree before activating the machine called Little Flushy-Flush Warp... which looked like a toilet shaped like a duck. I was starting to question Lala's sense of aesthetics. "Toodles!"

The machine's top opened, generating a water vortex that picked up Ghi Bree and dragged him inside before closing. Seeing it in action gave me a bit of a headache because the alien's body was several times bigger than the machine, but I chalked it up to sufficiently advanced technology.

"The stuff flushed through Little Flushy-Flush Warp is expelled from Earth, so there'll be no danger of Ghi Bree popping up again." Lala nodded in satisfaction before smiling. "Good job defeating him Rito! Ghi was gross and a bully, but he was also strong! How did you realize he took the place of Sasuga-sensei?"

"I heard some people commenting Sasuga-sensei was acting strange, so I decided to check on him while returning from my errand." I could feel lying to Lala left a bad taste in Rito's mouth, but the truth involved things we weren't ready yet to reveal. "By chance I caught him commenting out loud about his plans, so I confronted him. The rest..." He gestured to the damaged club room. "You can see it. I thought he was just good at disguising himself, but it turned out he also had a freakish strength. Are all Balkeans like that?"

"Indeed." Peke said. "The people from Planet Balke possess exceptional ability as mimics, a skill they call [Mimesis, and sturdy bodies capable of lifting several times their own weight. Moreover Ghi Bree has been recognized as the strongest Balkean currently in existence, although the list of Lady Lala's suitors includes even more powerful individuals. It's not wrong to say that only the absurdly rich and the absurdly strong have the privilege to be counted among them. It's a really fierce and violent competition, oh yes."

There were people even stronger than Ghi? Holy shit I thought I was in a comedy manga, not a shounen one! Was that one of the reasons I had such powerful people in my head? Because their strength was actually needed?

"It's annoying, that's what it is." Lala pulled out her tongue. "All they did was fighting each other and telling me I should marry them, no one ever tried to know more about me. They didn't care about me, they just wanted to become Papa's successor!"

"It wouldn't say it's right, but the prospect of becoming king of the whole galaxy is bound to attract many unsavory subjects." Rito scratched his head. "Listen Lala, what do you say we fix the club room and then go back to class? We relax and then go search for the real Sasuga-sensei once classes end."

"That's a great idea Rito." Lala smiled and nodded. "Let's go."

"Again! Rock, paper, scissor!"

"Again! Rock, paper, scissor!"

"Again! Rock, paper, scissor!"

I stared at the Ninja and Overlord furiously playing the most classic of hand games with an even expression before turning to Rin. "Alright, what exactly is going on here?"

"Remember when we discussed the skill [Save And Reload] and why you need me to use it?" He asked, to which I nodded. "A short while ago Minato wondered why the skill is called like that when it's supposed to just rewind time. That made me wonder if it can affect time in more ways than just turning time back. Basically, after a long discussion we agreed it's worth a try to test how time flows when you jump to a different world. I won't deny this idea carries some manner of risk, but so far [Utopia Di Anima Leggendaria] showed only positive effects."

"And I wanted to try [Doorway To Infinity] sooner or later, so why not now?" I finished with a nod. Still I only had one World Key for now, so I needed to decide carefully-wait. "You guys are fine with me trying one of your own doors?"

"At this point? It's about time, and everyone gave their approval. Which is also why those two-" Rin pointed to Sasuke and Laharl. "Are like this: they both wanted their own world to be chosen, so now they're gambling to decide who goes first. Quite silly, uh?"

"You can say that again."


	9. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Now, I knew I should probably do something about the very silly match in front of me, if only because the two participants were dragging it out more than necessary. But honestly? Watching them was just too funny.

That was why I took a seat on one of the chairs someone brought there and accepted the bowl of freshly made popcorn offered to me by Minato and Tsuna. I wasn't the only one, though from both sight and smell I could tell Killua added a lot of sugary content to his own bowl. "Aren't you afraid of caries?" I asked him.

"I'm already dead, so who cares?" He answered before picking up another lump of popcorn and tossing it into his mouth. "It's just butter, golden syrup and brown sugar anyway."

"That's food for children and you're an old man."

"Again, what's your point?"

I shook my head in amusement and went back to watch Laharl and Sasuke's match. Old age or not, it was clear Killua retained many of the traits he manifested during the anime, when he was only twelve. Not surprising since he was forced to grow up very fast due to his background, though I couldn't shake the feeling he was doing it just to fuck with me.

"Rock beats scissor! I won!" Sasuke declared with the smuggest, shit-eating grin I have ever seen him produce.

Trembling from unspeakable rage Laharl stared at his closed right hand with a look of supreme betrayal, as if his own limb first committed treason against the Overlord and then mooned him once the deed was done. "Impossible!" The demon bellowed, his hair antenna shooting straight up. "I, the great Laharl, lost?! Preposterous! I demand a rematch!"

"Sure, but with a new bet. After all, why risk to lose something that's already mine?" Sasuke countered.

"Gaaah! Know your place peon!"

"Hey Pervert, your turn. Keep Idiot Hair busy until he calms down." Ranma nonchalantly commented before grabbing Issei and tossing him at Laharl with such speed neither of them could react in time. Then he put both hands around his mouth. "Oh great and mighty Laharl! Issei here says he's stronger than you!"

"That's a lie! A lie! Help me I've been framed!" Issei desperately shrieked before a furious Laharl was upon him.

"...Did you really need to do that?" I asked while looking at the martial artist with a deadpan expression.

"Nope." He pulled out his tongue. "But it's faster this way."

A pillar crashed down next to the line of chairs, its surface half-melted.

"I have my doubts."

"Let the idiots squabble if they want, we have something more serious to handle." Sasuke urged us before waking towards his own door.

I looked at the others and shrugged, trying to wordlessly convey how such things were beyond my ability to influence. I could set up basic rules for the good of the group as a whole, but I couldn't make them be someone they were not. "Go ahead, I need to check up something in the real world first. I'll catch up with you once I'm done."

With a mental command I left my inner world and returned to the real one, finding myself once again seated at the desk within my room. After Lala kicked Ghi Bree out of the planet we began searching for the real Sasuga, and eventually found him tied-up and gagged inside a closet of his own home. The poor guy was very happy to see us, and didn't even question us when we told him the fake made a false step and was discovered before running away. He chastised us in a lighthearted manner, saying the next time we should inform the school immediately instead of investigating ourselves, and then sent us home after confirming none of us has clubs to attend. A mundane conclusion to a bizarre case, but I saw no reason to complain about it.

Looking at the clock I saw there were two hours left before dinner, which was plenty of time to perform a quick dimensional jump. Right now I was alone, and since I told both Mikan and Lala I had a lot of homeworks to do - which was true, I just didn't mention I can do them much faster than the average high schooler - it was unlikely I would get disturbed until Mikan called for dinner.

Unless Lala becomes bored and decides to just barge into my room, pleading to do something fun together. I could far too easily picture her saying something like that, but since it was just recently that Lala came to Earth I had faith there were still plenty of things left to hold her attention.

But, just in case...

I quickly wrote 'STUDYING NOW: DO NOT DISTURB' on a piece of paper and hung it outside my door. Then I went to the window and pulled down the curtains, just enough to give the impression I did so because there was a strong light in my eyes but also to block the desk's sight to someone watching from outside. Nothing truly suspicious, but it would guarantee me some measure of privacy.

Returning to the seat I laid down my upper body on the desk's surface and rested my head on my crossed arms before closing my eyes, giving the impression I felt asleep while studying. Preparations complete I went back to my inner world, hoping to find it still in one piece.

"Do you need me to explain how to use the Keyblade to open a door?" Riku asked me once I returned. We were in front of the Naruto Gate, only the plate with a different name separating it from the others.

"Uhm... I think I know, but just in case please explain." I told him, not wanting to screw up.

"Alright. The first thing you need to keep to mind is that a Keyblade's ability to open and close any lock is conceptual in nature." The boy began. "When it comes to concepts interacting with the physical world what's important is the willpower of the user. You need to conjure a mental image of the result you wish to obtain: the stronger the image, the more effective the used concept will be. The Keyblade itself does most of the heavy lifting, so for something as simple as 'opening a closed chest' you only need a simple desire, but when it comes to a World's Gate-"

"You need a crapton of willpower, because you're basically telling a whole world what to do." I sighed in understanding. "Well this is not a matter of life or death, which I suppose both simplify and complicate things, but I'll try my best."

"There is no 'try': you either do it or don't do it at all. No in-between." Sasuke told me with a stern tone. "To even consider the possibility of failure is to put a glaring hole in your mental image, which will weaken the end result even if you succeed."

"I'm sorry, I thought the Keyblade Master here was me." Riku snorted, clearly unimpressed with the ninja.

"Conjuring strong mental images is a necessary skill to use Jutsu, especially Genjutsu." Sasuke answered curtly. "So yes, I have more experience and thus more good advices to give to Lee."

"Let's stop here." I took a step between them and raised my open palms. "Before one of you say something he can't take back. Unless you want me to start taking out the yaoi material again?"

Sasuke's body suffered from a powerful shudder as he quickly took a few steps backward while making a gagging motion. "That... is completely and absolutely unnecessary."

"We are guests of quite the merciless host, uh?" Riku rolled his eyes, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Don't worry Lee, I'll behave... mostly."

"Do you also think the only reason we haven't started killing each other is because we're already dead?" Killua asked out loud.

"Sadly, you find me in complete agreement." Rin slapped a palm on his face. "Look Lee, can we just get to it already?"

"Yeah, you're right." After giving a last glare to both Sasuke and Riku I walked closer to the massive gate, until the keyhole was directly in front of me. Summoning Braveheart in my right hand I pointed the tip straight at the hole, so that only a dozen centimeters separated the two.

That done I closed my eyes and emptied my mind of all unnecessary thoughts: in their places I called forth an accurate image of the door in front of me, focusing on it until I was satisfied with the likeness. Then I picture a tunnel behind it, connecting the first door with the back of an identical one.

'The tunnel is the path I must take. It already exists, but it is barred.' I thought. 'I release the lock and lift the bar, which are one and the same, and open the path I must take.'

Within my mind a key took form, sliding smoothly inside the keyhole and turning clockwise with a soft, yet resounding click.

"Open, Gate!" I declared sharply while opening my eyes, thinking of nothing but my desire to turn fantasy into reality.

Braveheart answered to my wish, projecting a tiny beam of white light from the tip straight into the keyhole. The whole door vibrated like a tuning fork being stuck, a low humming that I could feel deep into my guts, before splitting apart in the middle and slowly opening just like the [To Love-Ru] one.

Once it stopped a green holographic screen appeared in front of me.

Please enter date and time of arrival.

Warning: due to it being a pivotal event in the selected world's history, you cannot choose a date more than six months before the day when Teams are assigned following the Academy Graduation Test, nor you can choose a date after it.

Below were entries for date and time of the day, followed by a 'Clear All' button and a 'Confirm' one. Trying them out I found it funny the system used Naruto's birth as a starting year, likely playing on the 'Ninja Jesus' meme. Six whole months gave me a lot of choices, but I didn't know if anything interesting happened during that time. "Sasuke, did anything unusual happen, to you specifically or in general, during the six months before the Academy Graduation Test?"

"The one I passed? Because there is one once every four months."

"Really?" That was new, but if it was true... "Is that how Naruto managed to fail the graduation exam three times despite being in a class of people with the same age?"

Sasuke scoffed, an amused smirk on his lips. "Yes. There's nothing forbidding students from taking it at the earliest available opportunity, but the teachers encouraged us to take it only at the end of the year because otherwise we would miss classes about topics that wouldn't be as easy to learn once we became Genin. All of it, of course, completely flew over the dobe's head."

"Uh uh." I nodded. "And mister 'Rookie of the Year' followed that advice because...?"

"It's true I didn't need those classes." He shrugged with absolutely no shame. "But if I graduated earlier I would have been put into a team with complete strangers, and while many of my classmates were bad choices I had at least a rough understanding of both their skills and personalities."

That would have made sense coming from anyone but Sasuke. I suspected he was embellishing the truth, but I had no way of proving it so I decided to just forget about it. "Anyway, about my previous question?"

"No, nothing unusual happened before then. In Konoha anyway, I don't know about the rest of the world." He replied.

"Thank you." Looking back at the display I thought which day I should select. Even a month was too much, so a week? It would be enough time for me to get used to live as Sasuke, and to investigate possible differences between that world and Naruto Canon. Not to mention fixing the imbalance between Yin and Yang Chakra: Genjutsu was cool, but I also wanted to properly breathe out giant fireballs.

And now that I thought about it, arriving a few days before the test would allow me to follow Naruto when he stole the Forbidden Scroll and take a look at it myself: I was sure the scroll contained more than just the Shadow Clone Technique, so why not acquire a cool jutsu for myself too?

My decision made I selected one week before the Graduation Test, while for the time I chose early morning to avoid having to run to school immediately after arriving. That done I pressed the 'Confirm' button, then did it once again when a new pop-up asking me for confirmation.

If there was one thing to complain about, it was me blanking out almost immediately afterward.

Naruto

The next thing I knew I was seated on a table, chopsticks in hand and an admittedly tasty-looking tomato salad in front of me. I blinked, feeling the same mild body dissociation I felt when I first woke up as Rito, then glanced down at the salad.

After a few seconds of indecision I picked up some of the salad and placed it in my mouth. "Tasty." I muttered while chewing: not as good as those made by Mikan, but it had a refreshing feeling. "Hey Sasuke, you there?"

"Yes." The ninja answered within my mind. "It should be Saturday, it was the only day of the week when I used tomatoes to prepare a salad."

"Oh, that's right: you love tomatoes."

"Love is a big word, I just like grew used to tomatoes because a lot of Uchiha civilians grew them in their back gardens." His voice turned contemplative. "Many of them were left to rot after the Massacre, but I had enough funds left to pay a few civilian farmers to keep taking care of them. Sentimental of me, I know."

"I don't see anything wrong with that." I knew there was a retcon somewhere, but it didn't change the fact Sasuke watched his beloved older brother go nuts and slaughter their whole family when he was just seven years old. That was enough to give most people severe mental issues, it was a miracle Sasuke grew up mostly sane.

After I finished the salad I washed the plates and put them to dry up, then walked out on the porch. The wall around the house prevented me from seeing the sun directly, but the color of the sky suggested sunset was almost over.

I sat down on the edge of the porch, my naked feet hanging free, and tried to summon the memories of the Sasuke of this time period, just like I did with the ones belonging to Rito. Again the process went surprisingly well, allowing me to learn I was not in the house where Sasuke originally grew up but the one belonging to a distant uncle of him, who lived alone and was killed during the Uchiha Massacre while visiting some parents. Sasuke couldn't bear staying any longer in the same place where his parents were killed, so he chose a house were no murder was committed.

I was not going to lie, channeling Sasuke was very distressing: Naruto may be considered a shounen series, but look at it with the glasses of reality and you'll see a harsh, cruel world that clashes fiercely with my modern morals. No wonder it needed a Messiah to fix it.

And now I was one of the people that will help said Messiah, back before the grand chain of events that would shake the foundations of the entire world even started. No, no it started even before that, all the way back to Kagura, but in a few years it would become an avalanche.

A chain of events that will paint me as a villain.

Like hell I would allow that!

I was not Sasuke, I was not a traumatized boy fed lies and half-truths and, most importantly, I was not alone! It didn't matter if the original series of decisions lead to a good ending, I refused to follow a script decided by someone else just because the results were uncertain.

If Laharl was right and I was the protagonist of my own story, then it was going to be a story written by me and no one else!

"While I'm glad to see you determined to avoid my past mistakes-" Sasuke interrupted my train of thought. "-may I remember you currently are in the middle of a village of shinobi? People trained to be incredibly paranoid about any deviation from the norm that they cannot perfectly rationalize?"

That gave me pause. "...Puberty?"

"Medical Nins have an almost perfect understanding of how that process influences the brain."

"Look underneath the underneath?"

"You're applying that saying to the wrong context."

"...I slipped and hit my head?"

"No. Just, just no." I heard him sighing. "Look Lee, you can't be as outgoing as you're in Rito's world, at least not at the start. It needs to be a gradual change, as if you're struggling with something you're not used to. That or you let me interact with others, though I'm not keen on reviving my younger days."

"I'll need your help for some things Sasuke, that's true, but I can do it." I reassured him. I was not an actor that can just play a role, but I was confident I could do a passable impression of an angsty teenager. "Beside, I have you helping me, right?"

"I must, otherwise who knows what kind of troubles you'll get into." Geez, that was mean and not even subtle. "Anyway, this house has a dojo I used to meditate. Go there, we need to make sure the Chakra imbalance doesn't hinder the use of the techniques I knew at this age."

"Yeah, yeah. First, however, I need to take care of the reason why I did this jump in the first place." I told him. "Checking out how time flows between dimensions."

To Love-Ru

Returning to the To Love-Ru universe required me going back to the inner world and repeat the opening sequence to the relevant door, which I found closed at my arrival without anyone noticing when it did so, but this time no screen to select the date popped up.

When I woke up as Yuuki Rito again I immediately looked at the clock.

Not even a second passed. I left and returned at exactly the same instant, as if the events in the inner world and in the Naruto World never happened.

A new Subskill has been revealed!

[Save Slot] This skill allows you to remove yourself from the flow of time of the universe once you leave it, giving the illusion time stopped during your absence and resumed only when you return. Once you enter a new universe you can only move forward in time, using [Save and Reload] to rewind time will cause you to enter a different alternate universe and forever lose access to the previous timeline. This skill cannot be accessed if Rin Tsuchimi is not present within your inner world.

Naruto

Using Sasuke's skills was easy when channeling him, but regulating the amount of Yin and Yang Chakra to create a more balanced mix required direct coaching from the shinobi. Luckily for me Sasuke's Chakra Control was very high at the time of his death, shortening what I'm sure would otherwise be a very lengthy process.

First we started with the three basic techniques taught to all Academy students: Body Replacement, Clone and Transformation.

The Clone and Transformation Techniques were the easiest to perform, being illusions that require mostly spiritual energy and very little physical energy. The trick consisted in using just the right amount of Chakra, the equivalent of using a single finger to tap a surface as opposed to just punching it. The only real problem was moving when I had a lot of clones out or when I was transformed into something very different compared to my base body, as it drastically increased the amount of details I needed to keep track at the same time.

In the Clone Technique's case, unlike the Shadow Clone I needed to constantly command my clones to move, otherwise they would just stay still like statues. That meant I had to control multiples bodies while using only one mind, a task made ever harder if I needed each clone to perform different movements. But since the main purpose of the Clone Technique was to create a distraction, as the clones had no substance and thus were incapable of causing harm, using only two or three at a time was good enough for my needs.

For the Transformation Technique, on the other hand, the difficulty laid in the fact its purpose was to fool the target into thinking I was not myself but someone else. If I copied someone I needed to include even the smallest details such as minor scrapes or blemishes, while things like different height and clothes of a type I never wore before took some time getting used to. There was a large mirror in the dojo, and on a whim I looked at it while transformed into a potted plant: the transformation twitched badly with the smallest of movement, even if I breathed a little faster than normal, and keeping it stable required a serious mental effort.

Finally, the Body Replacement Technique only needed me to hold back the majority of my spiritual energy since it mostly required physical energy for a brief burst of speed. The theory behind it was simple, I just needed some practice to include it within Sasuke's hard-wired instincts.

Once it was Monday I walked to the Ninja Academy, ready to experience what a school day as a ninja-in-training was like. Discovering that Sunday was a free day even for shinobi was surprising, but understandable once Sasuke explained it only applied to academy students that have yet to graduate into Genin.

"This honestly brings back memories. None particularly good." Sasuke commented as I looked up at the Academy building. Around me more kids were starting to arrive, most of them escorted by their parents.

'Come on, you're talking as if your school days were some kind of torture.' I replied. The only reason I didn't roll my eyes was because Sasuke insisted I always kept a neutral, serious expression. Because apparently it would be suspicious if I break character, and I was around paranoid people. As far as I was concerned the only paranoid person was inside my head. 'I thought the horde of screaming fangirls were just a fanon thing?'

"I don't know what [fanon] means, but yes I had a problem with female students failing to properly control their hormones and pursuing me as a target of romantic interest. It didn't matter how much I ignored their inane attempts to get my attention, it only seemed to spur them more." He answered in a vexed tone. "Also, after the Massacre everyone looked at me with pity and I hated it."

'Everyone except Naruto.'

"...Yeah. He may have been a dobe, and remained one, but he understood some of what I went through." Sasuke admitted. "And while his antics were annoying at least he treated me like a normal person."

"Naruto is your rival, uh? I know the feeling!" Ranma laughed. "When did he start swearing eternal vengeance and trying to kill you? Or it's you who did that?"

"Stay away from me, you insane moron from an even more insane world." Sasuke said with urgency, sounding completely weirded out.

"Hey, I resent that!" The pig-tailed martial artist protested. "I'll have you know that I'm a bastion of sanity!"

"People tried to kill you and yet you're not only laughing it off, you were friends with them!"

"Yeah, and? It's not like they ever had a chance of succeeding, so why worry about it?"

This was surreal. Except it was also my mind, so I didn't know if crying, laughing or calling Sasuke an hypocrite because Naruto and he were the same.

"Yo Sasuke!" A feminine voice called out just as I felt a hand slap my back with enough force to make me stumble forward. "Why are you making that face? Are you constipated?"

I didn't wonder who was the girl that acted in such a familiar, informal manner towards Sasuke, even if I really should have. Instead I schooled my features into the frown that was so characteristic of Sasuke. "Who are you calling constipated?" I shot back with fake annoyance as I turned around to face the speaker.

It was a good thing I spent the whole Sunday between practicing my techniques and imitating Sasuke's expressions and way of speaking in front of a mirror until the boy himself was satisfied, it was probably the only thing that prevented my facial muscles from relaxing and making me gape like a moron.

In front of me was Naruto, and yet it was not Naruto at all. To start with the person currently looking at me with an amused grin was not a boy but a girl, blonde hair tied into two long twintails that reached all the way to her knees. She had three whisker markings on each cheek and blue eyes like the future Seventh Hokage, yet the shape of her eyes and face brought to mind the pictures I saw of a young Kushina. Instead of Naruto's trademark orange jumpsuit she wore a black jacket with long sleeves kept closed by a zipper (a distant part of my mind noticed how said jacket was keeping in check a pair of breasts almost as big as Hinata's, but I did my best to ignore it), a thigh-high orange skirt, dark-brown stockings and a pair of ninja boots (I never understood why the ninja of Naruto all wore footwear that left the toes exposed).

For a second I thought: 'Is Naruto using her infamous Sexy Technique to screw with Sasuke?'

That foothold to sanity was shattered when an irate-looking Sakura marched up to the blonde girl and karate-chopped her head. "Naruko! How dare you imply Sasuke-kun suffer from something as unsightly as constipation?!"

"Who slipped drugs into our food?!" Sasuke yelled in fury and outrage, though I also detected a hint of hysteria.

"Eeeh? Come on Sakura, didn't you see his face?" 'Naruko' whined. "It was all stiff and nervous, just like mine when I have yet to go to the bathroom after more than-"

"Naruko-chaaaan!" The blonde was interrupted by another blonde, none other than Ino, who pulled her back by one arm and slapped a hand over her mouth. "What did I say about speaking in such a coarse and vulgar manner? You don't want to become as uncouth as Forehead Girl over there, right?"

"What was that, Ino-pig?!" Sakura clenched her hand, looking ready to explode like a bomb going off. "I'm uncouth? That's rich coming from a pig like you!"

"Who're you calling pig, you billboard brow?!" Now Ino looked ready to explode too, letting go of Naruko to lock eyes with Sakura. I swear I could see lightning bolts sparking between them.

"Oh God, here they go at it again." Naruko muttered with a long-suffering sigh while moving next to me. "I don't understand: until a few years ago they were the best of friends, and now they're like this. Sasuke, you have the best grades in the class so tell me: is this supposed to be normal?"

"...I don't think they teach about this at the Academy." I replied after finally finding the energy to talk again.

So, I guessed this was one of the AU elements of this version of Naruto: namely, that the eponymous protagonist has not been born as a male but as a female.

"What. Just, just what." Sasuke muttered with a dull tone. Can't blame him, seeing your best friend as a chick was sure to be a shock.

And a very stacked chick at that.

"Sasuke started hitting a nearby pillar with his head." Ranma told me. "I think he may be regretting his life choices."

No shit Sherlock.

"Mmn, I guess you're right." Naruko rested her right elbow on the palm of her left hand, right index finger pressing against her forehead while making a thinking expression. It lasted for barely a few seconds before she grinned widely once again, arms held akimbo. "Bah, whatever! More importantly, five days from now there'll be the Shinobi Academy's graduation exam! It's a foregone conclusion, but obviously I'll pass it with flying colors!"

"Like you did the last two times?" I replied instinctively, though I regretted it when Naruko looked like she found out her favorite shop just closed down permanently.

"T-Those were just flukes!" She crossed her arms and pouted, though her looking away from me betrayed her real feelings. "I'll surely pass it this time! After all, I'm the ninja who will become Hokage!"

Well, would you look at that: she may be a girl, but Naruto was still Naruto. And since Sasuke was currently too busy to bother me... "Look, which part of the exam do you have more troubles with, the written or the practical one?"

"Eh? Why are you suddenly asking about that?"

I tossed her a side glance. "Just answer the question."

"...I can handle the written part somehow, but Iruka-sensei always ask us to do the Clone Technique and that's my worst skill..." She finally admitted with some embarrassment.

"Is that so? Thank you for the info." I grinned softly. Then, before she could get angry I continued. "The reason you have so much trouble with the Clone Technique is probably because you're using too much Chakra. Some people have more Chakra than normal and others less, and those with more Chakra often use too much of it for their techniques."

She blinked owlishly. "But isn't using more Chakra better?"

"Usually yes, but many techniques like the Clone one are delicate and don't work properly without the right amount of Chakra. Think of it like a kettle: add too little water and it will all evaporate while boiling it, but add too much water and it will just spill out. You need to add the right amount so, even if some of it evaporates, there'll be enough of it left once it began boiling."

"Uhmmm..." Naruko was thinking so hard, I could almost picture steam coming out of her ears. "So... It's like when I prepare instant ramen and need to add only so much hot water, otherwise it will spill out and waste perfectly good ramen?"

I knew I was in a manga world, but too much ramen cannot be healthy. Was the lack of side effects another benefit of the almighty Chakra? What a riddle for the ages. "...Sure, let's go with that."

"But in that case, how do I know how much Chakra I need to use?"

"The same way we learn everything else: practice and concentration." I snatched a falling leaf out of the air and put it on Naruko's forehead. "Concentrate all your Chakra on this leaf while it sits on your forehead. Iruka-sensei told you about this training, right?"

"Eh?" She looked up at the leaf. "I, I think so...?"

"Do you really want the headband with the Konoha symbol? Then start with that leaf on your forehead." I turned around and walked towards the entrance. "That is, if you can do it in the first place."

"Is that a challenge?! I'll complete this training and pass the exam with grades so high they'll put a golden statue of me right outside the academy!" She yelled at my back. "Believe it!"

"Oh, I believe about a lot of things." I muttered. "For example, I believe my future will be anything but boring."


	10. chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I entered the Academy and was walking towards my class, Sasuke's memories informing me of the right path, when Rito started talking to me. "Can I ask you a question Lee? After arriving here I read the first volumes of Naruto to refresh my memory: after failing the graduation exam for the third time Naruto was tricked by Mizuki, one of his teachers at the Academy, into stealing a scroll from the Hokage under the pretense it was a secret test. That's how Naruto learned the Shadow Clone Technique."

'That's right.' I answered, already suspecting where Rito was going with this.

"In that case, why did you tell Naruko how to improve her Chakra control? I'm not saying it wasn't the right thing to do, but the Shadow Clone is Naruto's greatest ace in the hole. Do you plan to teach it to her later on?"

'If necessary.' I confirmed before continuing. 'But it's more complicated than that. Doing nothing would have been the best choice in the long run, true, but also a scummy one like you pointed out. Before arriving in this world I considered taking advantage of Naruto stealing the scroll to take a look at it myself: the Sharingan gives me eidetic memory, so reading it once would have sufficed. However, things changed once I saw that it's not Naruto here, but Naruko.'

To tell the truth, explaining to the blonde about the correct usage of Chakra has been a spur of the moment, but afterwards I was able to come up with a few valid reasons.

'To start with, we don't know if a week will be enough for Naruko to overcome her handicap. In the canon timeline Naruto shortened the time requirement for many techniques thanks to the Shadow Clone's ability to send back its memories to the original, but she doesn't have that advantage here. Furthermore, did you see how she interacted with Sakura and Ino? They clearly were, if not friends, at least close acquaintances. Naruto didn't have that kind of relationship with them during his academy days, so it's probably something that happened due to Naruko's changed gender. I always thought girls are more sociable than boys.'

"That, I cannot deny." Rito replied. "Though I can think of more than one exception."

Me too, but there wasn't time to comment on that too. I could already see the classroom's door. 'We can't just assume things are the same as canon despite the differences we already saw, so it would be dangerous to rely completely on foreknowledge. Not before confirming it with circumstantial evidence.'

Preparing for the worst - and also for the best, because why not? - I followed the rest of the students inside the classroom, trying to appear nonchalant and relaxed while in truth concentrating on everything that entered my field of vision.

I saw Iruka Umino on the podium, a blackboard behind him. That was good.

Moving my head to the other side of the room I saw many students already seated. I couldn't attach a name to many of them even with the help of Sasuke's memories, so those must be the average students that either failed the extra exam from their Jonin-sensei or never raised above being just another member of Konoha's army of shinobi. A bit sad in retrospect, but life was rarely fair: it was probably better for them to fade into mediocrity rather than being forced to face dangers they couldn't handle.

Those me and Sasuke knew, on the other hand, were a different story. The first ones were the future members of Team Seven, of which I belonged to: Naruko and Sakura. I left them behind, so they were not yet present in class.

Then there were Team Eight and Ten: the first was composed of Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuga and Kiba Inuzuka, plus the latter's ninja dog Akamaru; while the second was composed of Ino Yamanaka, Choji Akimichi and Shikamaru Nara. What happened to Team Nine, Six and all the others up to Team One? Nobody know, and I was no exception.

I left Ino behind together with Naruko and Sakura, and I could see the familiar figures of Shino, Hinata and Choji seated among the other students. But where were Shikamaru and Kiba?

After looking better I was glad to have already met Naruko, it allowed me to keep a cool mask of indifference at the realization I was apparently in the alternate universe of genderbent Naruto characters.

"I'll tell Sasuke he probably wants to keep headbutting that pillar then." Rito said between suppressed snickers. That was probably for the best: those two were not as close to him as Naruto was, but it was still a weird sight even for me.

The girl currently sleeping on her seat had the typical Nara look of shoulder-length black hair tied in a spiky ponytail, except it didn't make her head look like a pineapple. She also had a few stray bangs framing her face, and small silver stud earrings on her ears. For clothes she wore a short-sleeved grey jacket with green-edged sleeves that left her stomach bare, a green-lined mesh armor T-shirt under it and brown pants.

Meanwhile the girl playing with a very familiar white pup looked like a younger version of Hana Inuzuka, save for the hair which were messier and barely reached past her ears. The nose too was less pronounced, although I wasn't very sure about that part. She was wearing a grey, hooded fur-lined coat, dark grayish pants reaching to her calves and blue ninja sandals.

It suddenly occurred to me that I needed to find out their names before trying to start a conversation with them. That was my first new priority, the second one was to discover who else was genderbent and how that influenced past events. I sure envied those SI protagonists who knew everything that was going to happen and exactly what to say and do to twist things to their advantage. Alas, social manipulation (even for a good end) was not a skill I have mastered.

Alright, where was my usual seat... I looked where Sasuke's memories told me to, and while still free it was also surrounded on all sides by girls who were staring at me with lovestruck expressions one moment, and at each moment with irritated glares the next one. I felt a noticeable amount of disgust and fear surge from my guts at the sight, which I attributed to this body's instincts. Maybe Sasuke wasn't paranoid after all...

Suppressing my true inner feelings I kept climbing the short row of stairs, giving the impression I was headed towards my usual seat. Then, just before reaching it I suddenly took a turn to the right and sat next to Choji Akimichi, who was sitting on the right side of the genderbent Nara. Ignoring the groans of disappointments from my fangirls I looked at Choji, who has turned towards me with a slightly quizzical expression on his face while still eating from the bag of chips in his hands. I noticed said bag has both Konoha and the Akimichi's symbols on it, which made me suspect they were not the usual type I was used to eat: Choji's family was famous for using food as a source of great power, I was sure they developed a lot of special culinary recipes.

"I would like to spend my last days of school in peace." I explained, curtly and to the point.

Choji chewed what was in his mouth a few times before shrugging and going back to looking ahead. Not much of a conversationalist, but I had the impression the chubby boy was a lot more perceptive that it appears at first glance: I could definitely appreciate that.

"Already fed up with your fangirls by Monday, Uchiha?" Someone muttered loud enough for me to hear. It took me a few moments to realize the one to spoke was Nara. "It must be stressful to be so popular."

"I don't know about being popular in general, but I can confirm being popular the way I currently am is definitely stressful. Not to mention annoying." I replied while tossing a quick glance at the not-sleeping girl. "But there's no danger of you suffering the same, I guess?"

"God, I hope not." She moved her head to face my way, one eye opening to reveal a brown pupil clearly bored out of her mind. "So troublesome."

So the different gender wasn't enough to change that part of Shikamaru's personality, even if eventually he grew out of it. That reminded me, once it was time I needed to do something to prevent Asuma's death: there was no way I would let Kurenai become a widow and their daughter an orphan.

Sakura and Ino ran into the classroom, followed at a more sedated pace by Naruko who was staring intently at the leave in her hands. The two rivals for my affection groaned when they saw all seats around me were already occupied, then with a gloomy aura went to find a seat on their own. Naruko remained focused on the leaf, but lifting her head she met a frowning Iruka: with an 'Eep!' of surprise she quickly joined the other two girls in the search for a seat.

"Good morning everyone." Iruka began once everyone was seated. "I'm sure everyone already know, but six days from now we will host our Academy's Graduation Exam. By passing it you will earn the right to wear a Leaf Forehead Protector," He used a hand to slightly move his own headband up and down. "And you'll be recognized as a full-fledged Shinobi of Konoha. Of course, that is merely the first step. Sasuke-kun!" He pointed at me. "How many ninja ranks there are, and what are their names?"

"Three. Starting from the lowest they are: Genin, Chunin and Jonin." I answered in the curt manner Sasuke would have used. "There are also Tokubetsu Jonin, shinobi that excel in a single area, but the first three are the most used."

"Very good Sasuke-kun." Iruka congratulated me. Damn, it occurred to me I just looked like a know-it-all. "That's right: once you graduate you'll become Genin. You'll still be rookie ninja, but ninja nonetheless, and as such you'll be assigned duties by the village. The ranks of Genin, Chunin and Jonin first came into existence during the founding of the first Hidden Villages, when it became necessary to organize..."

'Sasuke. Can we get rid of Danzo?' I asked the black-haired boy once lessons ended and I was back home in the Uchiha district.

"With 'get rid of' you mean killing him, right?" He asked back with a tone that implied he was expecting that question sooner or later.

I grimaced: the idea of killing someone troubled me greatly, both on a personal level and as a human being taught about modern morals and the sanctity of life. I knew there will be times when I would have no choice but to fight with lethal intent against my opponents, because doing otherwise would put both myself and those I cared about in danger, and that there were people who deserved to die for their crimes.

It did not mean, however, that I liked the idea. On the contrary, I resolved myself to never like or grow comfortable with the thought of killing another sentient being, lest I become someone the current me would find absolutely despicable. 'Yes, I mean killing the son of a bitch. For what he did and what he will do if no one stop him. Surely you thought about it.'

"I have been doing it since I found out you can access a version of my world." Sasuke revealed. "I killed him once for what he did to my clan, I can do it again."

'Maybe without stabbing your own allies, this time?'

"...That shouldn't be necessary." He replied, clearly annoyed by my jab but unable to deny it.

Really, stabbing Karin to kill Danzo, who was taking her hostage, was a rotten thing to do. And he even tried to kill Sakura. Yes, at the time Sasuke was not in a right state of mind, but still. I was glad to be the one in control, letting Sasuke free to act without some form of restrain is just asking for a disaster to happen.

"Did I hear you two discussing an assassination?" I heard Killua's voice. He sounded mildly interested. "Out of curiosity, who and why?"

'A well-intentioned but misguided extremist.' I answered before Sasuke could, because he was biased. 'Do you want the long but complete list of all the shit he did, or will a brief recap suffice?'

"The second, I don't want to lose my appetite."

Understandable. 'Sasuke, may I...?' Receiving a grunt in response I began to recall everything I know about Danzo. 'He started a clandestine black-op group that answer only to him, every member brainwashed into absolute obedience and branded with a technique that prevent them from speaking about said group, and used it to perform missions that even other shinobi balk at, like the assassination of people that simply expressed their enmity towards his home without actually having done nothing against it. He authorized unethical experiments on people that wouldn't be missed, like orphans, and grave robbing.'

How else would he and Orochimaru have obtained Hashirama's cells?

"He conspired to have my whole clan killed simply because he mistrusted us and our abilities." Sasuke scoffed. "Then again, the only person he trusted was himself and saw every view beside his own as wrong. In hindsight, he may have become senile with age."

'Shinobi suffers from that too?' I asked in surprise.

"Chakra healing techniques cannot cure everything, especially if the brain is involved. Then again, very few shinobi had the chance to grow that old." Sasuke mused.

"Sounds like a nasty guy. Alright, you'll have my assistance if you need it." Killua told us. "I was getting a little bored with the usual stuff anyway, and I'm curious about how Nen compares to Chakra without the rules of this place healing us."

'Thank you.' Killua's help would be invaluable, him and Gon weren't considered geniuses for nothing. 'Though, I was thinking of forgoing subtlety altogether and just nuke the guy with Laharl or Issei's abilities.'

"Great idea. Especially the part where you manage to persuade the rest of the village to not bat an eye and just accept it." Sasuke's sarcasm was so thick it felt like a stone dropped on my head. "Think about it! You can do it, sure, and maybe also in a way that nobody can track back to us. But Danzo remains an important figure within Konoha, even if the Third Hokage should have executed him ages ago, so an unknown just showing up, killing him and then disappearing without being detected would send the whole village into a fit of paranoia. The Chunin Exam will be cancelled and the Intelligence Division will triple their surveillance on anyone they think could be the culprit. What are you going to do if this result in a war, come out in front of everyone and say 'Sorry, that was me'?!"

I winced at the harsh tone. Yeah, I really didn't think about the possible consequences of just nuking the bastard, or better yet how people would react to it. To start with it would be impossible to hide the whole event from the public, so word of it will eventually reach the other Hidden Villages through their spies. Everyone had someone spying on everyone else, so rather than just kill the spies it was more convenient to control what they learn and how: that was what the spy film genre taught me. 'How would you do it then?'

"To start with, the cornerstone of all ninja missions: information." Sasuke assumed a teacher-like tone. "The first time I took advantage of Danzo attending the Five Kage Summit, but barring extreme circumstances he normally never leaves the village. So for now we need to learn about Root's current circumstances: who is part of it, their general abilities, the positions of their facilities and so on. Danzo's paranoia and the lack of initiative Root training encourages mean he needs to take care of most issues himself. While that makes separating Danzo from his underlings almost impossible, all possible battlefields are locations specifically built to be hard to discover and to keep what happens within them concealed."

"I see, you intend to turn his home advantage against himself." Killua pointed out.

"Exactly. I would like nothing more than to destroy everything the bastard holds dear in front of his eyes before erasing him from existence, but the faster he dies the better. It will be enough if his death results in the Hokage's forces discovering about Root, thus forcing the old man to dismantle it once and for all." Sasuke made a poignant pause. "I can still remember his last words: 'I am the only one who can change this world', 'I am the roots that grow in the dark'. Ridiculous: the truth is that Danzo Shimura has never been more than a rotting vine choking the life out of Konoha. I didn't make the sacrifice of the Uchiha Clan meaningless, because it had no meaning in the first place. So this time I'll return the favor and make Danzo's existence truly and utterly meaningless."

...I wasn't sure what to feel following Sasuke's speech: I also hated Danzo, yes, but not to the extent Sasuke did. After all, unlike the boy nothing that Danzo did touched me personally: I could empathize with him, yes, but that was the extent of it.

And yet, it was precisely because of my ability to empathize that I could feel bad for Danzo while still hating him. For I knew that his desire to protect Konoha, despite being horribly twisted, was genuine.

A tragedy I could do nothing to prevent, because it already happened. All I could do was putting an end to it before it could leave even more misery in its wake.

I eventually learned, through the ancient technique known as 'listening to the teacher checking attendance', that the female Shikamaru was called Shika and the female Kiba... was also called Kiba. Easy names to remember for sure, but I was tempted to blame their parents for the lack of creativity.

Anyway. Despite being the last days of the school year I had enough time to get a general idea of important people's personalities and compare them to my knowledge of Naruto.

Naruko was still looked down by a majority of the adults who knew about her 'passenger', and for being an orphan I guess, but the same wasn't true about their children. I assumed it was because of her being a girl and her 'assets', the latter of which I couldn't fault the boys for noticing. Even if I was relatively sure some of them were still in the 'girls have cooties' phase, but what did I knew about chakra-enhanced human biology? Very little for now, I'll fix that at the first occasion. Regarding the girl herself, I came to the conclusion I had to thank Ino: I suspected she helped Naruko just like she did with Sakura, and since Naruko didn't seem interested in me (a pity, but nothing was set in stone at the moment) they remained friends.

Shika and Choji were still friends, and at first glance I detected no differences in their relationship compared to canon. I could be wrong of course, but that was the limit of what I could ascertain for now.

Kiba also looked identical to her canon self, though I noticed she frequently groomed Akamaru and made sure to clean both him and herself after they got dirty playing or fighting.

Hinata wasn't, much to my inner relief, the incredibly stealthy stalker that fanon likes to portray her as. All I saw was a shy girl with confidence issues, and yes she often glanced at Naruko with a smile, but to me it looked less like a crush and more like admiration, or maybe respect. I guess Hinata still looked up to Naruko because in many ways she was everything the Hyuga heiress wanted to be.

Sakura and Ino... were still Sakura and Ino. I decided to let them deal with their own issues, they didn't need my help for that.

Shino Aburame was also the same as canon. Quiet, but perceptive and able to always ask the most important questions. He was a reliable ally, though the idea of bugs living within the human body freaked me a little bit.

Finally, the two teachers following our class: Iruka and Mizuki. I took care to discreetly kept an eye on the latter, aware that he would eventually trick Naruko into stealing the Forbidden Scroll. Of course things would be different if the blonde girl manage to pass the exam, even if by a hair's breadth, but I wouldn't put it past Mizuki to try anyway with a different lie. I didn't know if the events of the anime applied and he wanted the scroll to give it to Orochimaru as a offering, but I planned to find out anyway.

Eventually the day of the graduation exam came. Both the written and practical tests were easy to ace, after all I had a veteran shinobi in my head giving me tips, but shinobi were expected to cheat anyway.

What I truly looked forward to with anticipation was Naruko's test. Never once in the past days I have seen her without the leaf I gave her, which she kept either on her forehead as she practiced or within her pockets during other activities. I was happy that she took her promise seriously, but I wondered how much a single week of training could help Naruko control her immense chakra reserves.

When it was her turn to perform the Clone Technique Naruko walked into the room where the teachers were waiting stiff as a wooden board, cold sweat spilling down her face even as she kept a perfect poker face.

With a seal-less Transformation I covered my eyes with an illusion of their normal state, then I activated the Sharingan: it was no Byakugan, but just seeing the color of chakra was sufficient for my goals.

Using my dojutsu I watched the bonfire that was Naruko's chakra (and boys, all that power contained into such a tiny frame was one hell of a sight) slowly and methodically knead a small part of itself through the use of hand seals. She wasn't rushing it, good, but that really was too much chakra.

Once the technique was complete a lot of excess chakra was released as heatless smoke, which looked like colored mist through the Sharingan, and two illusionary constructs appeared to both sides of Naruko.

"Well, that's surprising: she managed to make two clones." Sasuke commented. "But there's too much chakra inside, I doubt she can make the clones move even a finger without them popping like soap bubbles. It's probably taking all of her concentration just to keep them stable."

A bit disappointing, but Naruko's jubilant cry of joy that followed soon afterward told me that it was enough to pass.

Now, it was time to see how things were going to develop.

I didn't have the chance to immediately follow Mizuki or Naruko after the last student took the graduation exam and everyone left to return home, but I knew were the Hokage lived so I decided to keep watch over the place. Sasuke's help was invaluable for it, for he knew all sort of tricks to pass unnoticed even by experienced shinobi.

That was how I witnessed Naruko sneaking inside the Hokage's residence while Mizuki observed the whole event while hiding outside. That moron, she passed the test so why was still pulling this stupid stunt?

Oh well, time to find out. Making sure to keep my skills down to the level of a recently graduated, if talented Genin I sneaked behind Mizuki and allowed my foot to make a slight sound.

Credit where it's due, Mizuki reacted instantly by taking out a kunai and turning around at the same time, every part of his body ready to fight.

Too bad for him, he lost the instant our eyes met.

"What are you doing?"

Naruko let out a cute yelp, tumbling forward and smacking face-first into the open scroll's page, then on the ground below. Moaning in pain she scrambled to her feet and turned around to face me before gasping. "Sasuke?! What are you doing here?"

"I was taking a stroll when I saw you leaving the Hokage's residence." I looked at the scroll. "And unless I'm mistaken, which I'm not, there's a warning on that scroll saying only the Hokage can open and use it. So I put two and two together."

"Eeeh?! What does math have to do with this?" She asked with a fake confused tone, but turned sheepish when I stared back completely unamused. "Please don't tell anyone!" She clapped her hands together and bowed. "I just need to learn a single technique from this scroll and, instead of last place, I'll get a perfect score!"

I felt a migraine coming, and not just because I already knew about that from reading Mizuki's memories before making him waste time with a genjutsu, but also because Naruko actually believed said absurd lie. "And who told you this?"

"It was Mizuki-sensei. He said this is a secret test."

I hoped experience will fix this naivety of hers, but I wasn't willing to bet much on it. "Fine, I'll keep quiet about your attempt to gain extra credits." I let her sigh in relief before continuing. "But in exchange I want to read the scroll too."

"Uh? Sure, but why?" She scratched her head in confusion. "Didn't you already get a perfect score?"

"You see, I actually recognized this scroll from some stories I heard in the past." I replied with what was 'technically' the truth. I picked up the scroll, silently marveling at its weight, and showed it to Naruko. "It was written by the First Hokage, who recorded within it many secret and powerful techniques. Since then all successive Hokage added something to this scroll, making its content incredibly valuable."

"You mean-!" She gasped and pointed a finger at the scroll, eyes glittering. "If I learn all the techniques it contains I'll become Hokage?!"

"Nope. It doesn't work that way." Aaand, she immediately looked like a kicked puppy. That wasn't fair at all. Sighing I sat down and spread open the scroll before me. "Let's just read it, I assume you don't have all day?"

"Right!" With renewed energy she sat next to me and began to read the scroll, only to grimace. "The first technique is... Shadow Clone Technique? What the hell? Why does it start with the one type of technique I'm bad at?"

"This is not normal Clone Technique. Look, it was signed by the Second Hokage himself." And not only he had a very good calligraphy, its instructions were written so well I was betting even a complete idiot would be able to understand them. I made a show of reading the full description before stroking my chin. "Incredible. Unlike the basic Clone Technique, Shadow Clones are physically real, possessing the same clothing, damage, and transformations as the user at the time of their creation. It can even copy basic tools like kunai and shurikens. And because they are visually identical and possess the same chakra as the user, Shadow Clones are indistinguishable from their original."

"Really? Shadow Clones are much better than just normal Clones!" Naruko went back to looking very interested. "Why didn't they teach this technique at the Academy then?"

"Because the user's chakra is divided evenly between themselves and their clones." I explained. "Creating one clone will give it half the user's chakra, creating two clones will give each a third of the user's chakra, and so on. You can deplete your reserves very quickly if you're not careful, and being left without chakra means death."

I let Naruko gulp in fright, happy to have made that point clear, before continuing. "That said, it's a very useful technique for people who have a lot of chakra like you, Naruko, and since it splits the chakra evenly by itself this technique requires very little control. Ooh, here it also says that Shadow Clones usually disperse once they are struck hard enough, but once dispersed the clone's experiences and remaining chakra are transferred back to the user. That makes this technique incredibly valuable for intelligence gathering. Man, to come up with something like this the Second Hokage must have been a true genius."

I said the last part just in case the Third Hokage was already watching us, hoping that praising his mentor would make him more lenient towards me.

"Alright, I've decided: I'll learn the Shadow Clone Technique!" Naruko looked incredibly determined. "Then I'll show it to Iruka-sensei and move to the top of the class!"

"You do it." I replied while opening the scroll even more. "I want to read more."

While Naruko was focused on the first part of the scroll I once again covered my eyes with an illusion and activated the Sharingan in order to perfectly commit the scroll's contents to memory.

"Let's see what they keep inside this old thing..." Sasuke muttered as I went through the scroll at a sedate pace to give the illusion I was paying only superficial attention to the contents. "The Eight Trigrams Sealing Style? And it's not the only Uzumaki fuinjutsu, there's also the Dead Demon Consuming Seal and a lot of other Uzumaki techniques I never heard about. I guess they were added by the Fourth Hokage."

'Did you think he also wrote down his Flying Thunder God Technique?' I looked through all the techniques with Minato Namikaze's signature, but found nothing mentioning it. Either the Fourth Hokage took the secret to the grave or he store it inside some secret archive. However, I found something else. 'Uzumaki Clan's Adamantine Sealing Chains?'

"Uhm, Karin told me about it if I remember right. It's a technique that was used by the Uzumaki Clan's main branch, it creates special chakra chains capable of binding and sealing even a Tailed Beast."

Wait a moment. Those must be the golden chains that Kushina used in the anime. They were able to retrain even Kurama, I was definitely going to teach the technique to Naruko later on.

"As you wi-hold on, are those instructions for Senjutsu Chakra? Memorize them immediately!"

So even an old Sasuke was a fan of cool techniques.

I left Naruko's hiding place after memorizing the entire scroll, saying that I preferred to practice at home rather than in the middle of the woods. I was not sure Naruko really heard me, she was focusing very hard on the instructions for the Shadow Clone Technique, but she nodded so I took that as a yes.

The following events were not something I had the right to meddle with, but nonetheless I stood near the woods long enough to see Iruka entering them, followed some time later by Mizuki: beside the first genjutsu I added a second, more subtle one to impair his skills so I was not worried about Naruko and Iruka taking serious damage.

Now sure that the canon events were going to play without unwanted alterations I returned home, where I reviewed once again the techniques I memorized from the scroll before going to sleep. Tomorrow morning I will be required to prepare the necessary documents for my entry into the Ninja Registration book.

And the day after that, Iruka will announce the teams' composition. My ability said it's a pivotal event in the world's history, even more than the Graduation Exam, which begged the question:

Would the teams be the same as canon, or will I end together with completely different people?

I couldn't wait to see how things would turn out.


	11. chapter Ten

Chapter Ten (Part 1)

And so, my career as a Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village began with a short, balding and middle-aged photographer taking my picture on the Academy's rooftop.

Yeah, that's a thing that happened. I understand the need for paperwork, and far from me to judge a person on their appearance (unless they're, like, covered in blood and gore, in that case yes I'm judging you alright), but why did they choose the top of the Ninja Academy of all places?! There were even lamps set on both sides of me, which is all well and good except we were outside in the middle of the day!

Do you know what the anime never mentioned? That Konoha is hot. And humid. Which explains all the trees, but it also means it's almost always sunny. Today was no exception, and yet I was still required to come all the way up here and sit down on a chair as the old man operated a very antiquated studio camera, the kind you can see within movies set in the 19th century.

"Don't ask me, technology was all over the place before the Fourth Shinobi World War."Sasuke informed me, likely sensing my confusion. Personally I believed Masashi Kishimoto was just bad at world-building: I ignored how that translates to reality, but I had the feeling I would soon find out."Try to focus now, I want our picture for the Ninja Registration Book to look good."

'Yes dad.'I snarked before focusing back on the old man.

"Mh, yes. The light's good now." He finally stopped moving the camera around. "Alright kid, we're ready. Now, smile!"

Now, normally I would think nothing of following that request, it wasn't the first time I took a picture for legal reasons. Sadly a certain grumpy ninja in my head was very much against me doing something as simple as smiling because, in his words, 'it would be too suspicious'. Yeah, apparently Sasuke Uchiha was not allowed to be casually happy at this moment in time.

Such bullshit was said with a totally straight face. I missed being Yuuki Rito, I really did.

"Thanks."Said orange-haired boy replied.

"Do I need to?" I told the photographer. "...Rather than excited I prefer to appear serious." I added, as if admitting something I would have preferred to keep for myself.

"As you wish. No skin off my back." He answered, as if it really wasn't such a big deal. Well, considering in canon he accepted Naruto's ridiculous kabuki pose I suppose this guy saw and grew used to all manners of ninja bullshit.

"Ridiculous kabuki pose?"Sasuke asked.

I provided said image, and was rewarded with Sasuke's barely suppressed laughter.

"Everything's in order. Good job coming this far, Sasuke-kun." The one talking so casually to me wasn't a mere office worker. Oh no: it was the Third Hokage himself, Hiruzen Sarutobi. The second God of Shinobi after Hashirama Senju, third if we count the Sage of the Six Paths himself. On appearance alone he was the very picture of a jolly, friendly grandfather.

I knew better. The man before me was a certified badass that could kick my ass in several hundred different ways if given a good reason, and only old age so far managed to weakened him. "Thank you, Hokage-sama." I answered with a polite bow.

"Is he another Happosai?"Ranma asked with (understandable) apprehension.

'God, no! Okay, I can't exclude he may be a little perverted in private-'Going by the first few chapters of the manga anyway, a lot changed since then.'But he's the real deal: a true, proper old master that knows many incredible techniques and has earned the respect of both allies and enemies.'

"Too bad his three most famous pupils eventually turned into a pervert, a traitor and a lush."Sasuke added.

'This and that are different.'I protested, even if he was totally right.

"With this you're now a Genin of Konoha, and in the eyes of the Village's laws officially an adult." The Hokage continued while skimming through some documents. He wasn't looking at me, yet I could swear for a moment a complicated expression appeared on his face. Pushing the last document to the side, where another Shinobi with a serious expression was arranging them with quick and efficient movements, the old man folded his fingers together and looked at me with an expression that somehow managed to blend together seriousness, respect and a certain warm fondness typical of old people addressing a young family member.

Why did I have the feeling an important topic was about to be introduced?

"And, since you're legally an adult, it means you can be formally appointed as Lord of the Uchiha Clan and Clan Head of one of Konoha's founding families." Yep, called it. "I suppose congratulations are in order, though considering the circumstances behind said decision I'd understand if you're not very happy."

"Thank you for your concern, Hokage-sama, but you don't need to worry about me." I politely told him. Sasuke mentioned something like this happening, though the talks never truly went anywhere and him leaving Konoha to follow Orochimaru made it a moot point. "I wouldn't lie and say what happened doesn't affect me anymore, but I am the son of Fugaku Uchiha: my father was a man of few words who didn't openly show his emotions, yet I know he cared about and trusted me. I will prove his trust was not misplaced."

"I'm happy to hear that." A small smile appeared on the Hokage's lips, though it was short-lived. "Still, allows me to be blunt, Sasuke-kun: you are the last Uchiha."

'Within Konoha'was left unsaid. And even if Itachi left some Uchiha alive, as a son of the previous Clan Head Sasuke would remain the best candidate to succeed him.

"You were not the Heir, so you probably were not trained to eventually take up the Uchiha Clan's duties and responsibilities." You confirmed it with a curt nod. Sasuke's education was all about basic knowledge and how to be a Ninja, he only had a vague understanding of what Fugaku and Itachi did outside of missions. Not father-son bonding activities, that was for sure. "And you're... well, you'retwelve."

The Hidden Villages accept twelve years old children into what basically are black ops teams the size of an army, and yet the leader of one of said armies was uncomfortable about me handling responsibilities normally held by an adult?

Talk about values dissonance.

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, you said it yourself: I'm now legally an adult." I answered. "I agree with the first two points you mentioned, but allows me to believe my age isn't going to represent such a huge setback. After all, I wouldn't be where I am today without growing up faster than normal."

The last part was a subtle reminder than Sasuke went through stuff no kid should have to experience, yet he did and not only he survived, hepersevered. A pity that a combination of Cursed Seal and Tsukuyomi's mindfuckery sent him down a bad road.

"You're never going to live it down, are you?"

'Nope!'

Sarutobi didn't flinch. Not really. But I like to believe the slight twitch that preceded him frowning was an aborted attempt to do so. "There is some truth in your words. Nonetheless-" With deliberate slowness he took out a scroll stamped with the Hokage's seal and set it on the table in such a way I would be easily able to take it if I got up and took a few steps forward. "I would like to offer you a choice, Uchiha-san."

From 'Sasuke-kun' to 'Uchiha-san'. I may have be a westerner originally, but even I could pick up the hidden subtext within the change of address: that said offer was something official, with possible ramifications.

"If you wish to focus on your training and career as a Shinobi, then I will appoint able administrators and businessmen to manage your Clan's assets. You will still retain control over your Clan's belongings of course, and the right to override any decision they make. The appointed managers and administrators will report to anddeferto you."

That... was a sensible choice. I mean, I wouldn't bat an eye if it happened back in my own world. Butthisworld had a different system of values so I had to think this through.'Sasuke?'

"Yes, it happened to me too."He actually sounded bored, the bastard."I asked for some time to think, but kept postponing making a decision. Then I left Konoha and you know the rest. Do whatever you want, I don't care."

'What about the Uchiha Clan's secrets? Powerful treasures and weapons? Incredible and forbidden jutsu?'

"You mean, beside what Itachi and Obito took away with them and what Danzo looted in the confusion? Under multiple seal arrays that will blow everything up if released by someone who isn't an Uchiha or it was never kept within Konoha in the first place."Sasuke laughed."Did you forget my Clan was planning a rebellion? It was cut short, but preparations were made."

Fucking Ninja.'How many people died snooping around the Uchiha District after the Massacre?'

"No idea, but I like to think the majority were Root."

Right. Well, if I was to remain a loyal shinobi of Konoha then it wouldn't hurt to have an extra source of income, not to mention I didn't want to invite future friends and potential girlfriends into a ghost district.

"I thank you for the offer, Hokage-sama." I finally replied, making it seems I mulled over the decision during the previous pause. "Even if it is not one to be taken lightly. If I were to accept, what can I expect?"

"You are the rightful owner of the Clan's lands and the buildings on them. You're also the heir of everything your late clansmen owned, both money and material possessions. But everything else, stuff like trade contracts and connections, is pretty much ashes." Sarutobi bluntly replied. "Currently you lack the manpower, expertise and reputation needed to invest and make a profit. Working as a Leaf Shinobi can sustains only yourself and a small family, should you decide to settle down in the future. So, if you plan to rebuild your Clan..."

"I do, Hokage-sama." I nodded. Oh yes, I hadplansfor that, and some helpers for the economic side that actually know what they're doing would only help. Unless they try to fuck me over or slip more money than appropriate into their pockets: while I can understand greed, I don't condonestupidgreed.

"I can understand if you're wary of strangers handling your private affairs, but I assure you every and each of the people listed within this scroll has been personally handpicked by my Office and approved by me." The Hokage gestured to the scroll. By his side the serious-looking Shinobi continued to work as if totally deaf. I was betting ANBU, either ex or potential. "Some of those options are Shinobi, and will double as bodyguards for you."

I didn't really needed the last part as things stood, but they had no way of knowing that. Beside, it wasn't strange for someone living in a Shinobi Village tobea Shinobi.

"Before making a final decision, I would like to go through the candidates' profiles in private." Unlike Sasuke I already decided to accept the Hokage's offer, but it wouldn't do to just jump in blindly.

On the way back home I saw Naruko talking with Konohamaru. I didn't stop, after all the little squirt was in good hands.

More or less.

"Alright, before we begin-" I began as I finished setting the last plate full of snacks on the table. I suspected this was going to take a while, so naturally I wanted to have something to eat while doing it. The food was not as good as Mikan's of course, but judging from the smell what I bought was still of fine quality. "Which one of you guys know something about running a business?"

"It depends on the type of business. I worked in the field of intergalactic bureaucracy, but I don't know how much of what I learned can be applied here."Rito answered."Paperwork is always the same no matter where you are though, so I can definitely help with that."

Wasn't that the truth?

"I know something about it. After all, the Zoldyck's family wealth didn't come only from assassinations."Killua replied."And while working as a Hunter there were cases when I had to put it to use."

"I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but Hyper Intuition helps a lot with things like those."Tsuna said with an hint of mirth."That, and years of experience working as the Vongola Boss: the Mafia is not the Yakuza, but we still deal a lot with real estate and various other business."

"Great! Just what I wanted to hear." I sat down at the table. Now, what to choose... of course, taiyaki. I took a bite, enjoying its crunchy tastiness, then opened the Hokage's scroll and began to read.

Unsurprisingly, almost all of the proposed advisers were from a Konoha Clan: Hyuga, Akimichi, Nara, Inuzuka, even the Sarutobi. "Sasuke, what do you know about the Third Hokage's family?"

"The Sarutobi? Not much, just that they were one of the first clans to join the newly formed Senju-Uchiha alliance. They possess the Monkey Summoning Contract and have a high affinity for Fire techniques. Many of their members are very skilled, but don't like standing out."

I nodded while smearing sauce on the Shimura adviser's name. There was tempting fate, and then there was shooting yourself in the foot.

At the bottom of the list there were two names, both female, that didn't seem to belong to a clan. "Tsubaki Akame and Yue Reiko. Ring any bell?"

"No. First time I hear those names. Not that I remember much of my list in the first place."The dark-haired boy hummed.

I read the two women's profiles: both of them were Chunin, and have been so for more than a decade. They successfully completed a lot of missions, though none of them were very high-ranked. Akame was well-connected among merchant guilds all over the Continent and maintained contacts with the Land of Fire's nobility, while Reiko was an infiltration specialist

able to perform a long list of different jobs, not to mention she was efficient in organization and data analysis.

In short, both women had what I believed were the necessary skills to perform well as an adviser. Not very strong, especially when compared to the canon characters, but it was secondary in this case. Obviously the same was true for the other candidates, but for some reason I found the two clanless options more interesting. The Hyper Intuition at work?

"The Hyper Intuition is not supposed to work on a written report, Lee."Tsuna gently chided me."You need to meet those people in person to get an accurate judgment. Still, it isn't impossible to make some subconscious suppositions out of this much."

Having finished the taiyaki I switched to the dango. This reminded me, I needed to make sure Anko Mitarashi took care of her line from now on, love for dango or not: why did you let such a sexy lady get so fat Kishimoto?! "So at the very least I need to set up a meeting first. Maybe a trial period too?"

"If possible, yes. Some of them may take offense at being treated like novices, but in your situation you're justified. That said, choosing an advisers from another Clan could provide an opportunity to strengthen ties with said Clan."

"Rejected."Sasuke immediately spoke out with a firm tone."I don't want people who may have deeper loyalties than to the Village itself snooping around or making important decisions. It sets a bad precedent."

A precedent to what?

"I see. I take it you want to eventually earn the loyalty of those we will eventually chose?"

"That should be obvious. The Uchiha needs to stand as an equal to the other Clans, no matter how damaged it currently is."

Ugh,politics. I understood the need of and the motivations behind, but it all sounded so...factitious. I really didn't like it, but I still needed to do it if I really wanted to rebuild the Uchiha Clan.

"This reminds me."Tsuna continued."What kind of businessdoesthe Uchiha Clan own? Do we have a list?"

Very good question. Searching through Sasuke's memories I found out he kept the official documents on the second floor, within a closet. The latter hasn't been opened in years.

A few minutes later, after much dust and coughing, I put down on the floor the rather heavy ledger that should contain everything I needed. "Ever heard ofcleaning, Sasuke?" I asked with heavy sarcasm as I went to wash my hands, face and everything.

"What are you implying? Of course I cleaned my house!"

"All of it, not just the rooms you actually use." I rolled my eyes. Seriously, it shouldn't bethathard.

Leaving the bathroom I sat down in front of the ledger and lifted the thick cover. I needed Tsuna's help to understand many of the terms used, but from what I was able to tell the first part of the book detailed the various agreements and partnerships the late members of the Uchiha Clan established with people within and without the Hidden Leaf Village. Perhaps unsurprisingly, those within the Village slowly shrunk over the years until they covered only the Uchiha district. However, a lot of contacts remained outside the Leaf: nobles, lords, merchants, village leaders and so on. Some were commercial partners, others Uchiha subsidiaries.

Regarding the establishments owned by the Clan, there was a wide selection: restaurants, inns, tea-houses, geisha-houses, brothels-

I paused. "Sasuke?" I asked while keeping my voice purposely blank. "I own a brothel?"

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Abrothel. I am quite literallyan accessory in prostitution."

"...Lee. Prostitution is an legally accepted practice in the Elemental Nations. Please stop applying your native morals here."The ninja sounded frustrated."Also, those establishments were likely used as informants and spies."

I rested my face in one hand. The worst part was that Sasuke's argument made sense: I already accepted that the Hidden Villages start training people before they were even ten years old to become mercenaries, something that didn't change even in canon, so why was I reacting so strongly to something that fit perfectly in a setting inspired by ancient Japan? Probably it was the fact that, as the legal owner, I couldn't express my disapproval while pretending to be completely uninvolved. And I couldn't just decide to close them either, because that would mean take away someone else's job without giving them the means to find another one.

A bit hypocritical? Well, yeah: despite my most recent circumstances I was just human, I don't always make sense. "Look, I am not comfortable with the idea of paying a woman to have sex with her, alright?"

"You're a brothel's owner, that means you don't need to pay to use their services."Issei told me with the tone of a sage gifting the world with a holy truth.

"Not helping!"

Yesterday was...something. Yeah, something. Let's leave it at that. Moral problems aside, that ledger revealed a lot of useful information. Like the fact that, while the Uchiha business within the Village may have been declined to just their own District before the Massacre, outside of the Leaf it has blossomed: Sasuke confirmed it, though his knowledge was based on how things will be several years in the future, but Fugaku and the rest of the Uchiha leadership worked hard to make it possible for the Clan to just pack up and leave Konoha.

You honestly doubted the rest of the Village would have let them do that without a fight, and overall things would have gotten very ugly very fast, but it's probable your late clansmen were not exactly thinking straight.

"Are you implying my father was a fool?"

'No, just wondering how the brain chemistry necessary to unlock and use the Sharingan affects judgment.'

"It doesn't."Sasuke immediately denied, but I wasn't so sure.

"Still constipated, Sasuke?" A cheerful voice said from my right. "Have you tried eating Ramen?"

I slowly turned my head around to look at the satisfied blonde sitting next to me. "First, I believe food is best savoured when your stomach is in order. Second, are you going to keep assuming I'm constipated every time I silently think about something?"

Naruko scratched her head. "That's what you were doing? Weird."

"Naruko! Let me through!" A wild Sakura appeared! "I want to sit on the other side of you!"

"Not so fast Forehead Girl!" And now a wild Ino appeared too! Wasn't that against the rules?! I still had only one Pokemon!

"Pokemon jokes? Really?"Rito asked.

'Hey, don't tell me you never thought how cool it would be to do the real thing.'Going to a Pokemon World wasn't high on my list of possible jumps, but I was definitely going to give it a try someday.

"Naruko-chan!" Ino continued as she wrestled with Sakura. "Let me sit next to you and I'll pay all your orders at Ichiraku for the next week!"

Even without seeing her face I knew I had to do something when Naruko's twintails stood up like the tail of a dog who caught the scent of its prey. "Ino Yamanaka. You may be a Clan Heiress, but I doubt your allowance is enough to pay the final bill."

"Yay! Sasuke-kun said my name!" The pale blonde squealed in excitement, palms slapping over her cheeks. That was the wrong thing to do, for it gave Sakura leverage to gain the upper hand.

"My ramen..." Naruko deflated as the brawl between angry teenage girls degenerated into chaos.

It was honestly a pity the school comedy was ending today, but I had enough of that as Yuuki Rito.

"This? This is tame and you know it."Said orange-haired boy pointed out.

'Fair.'

"Settle down!" Iruka-sensei slammed his hands on the table, the words filling the air with an undeniable pressure. "Or I'll have all of you clean the bathrooms until they're sparkling!"

The oldest threat in the academy world, and boy did it work. All the students that were not already sitting down did so in all haste, a bruised Ino and Sakura sitting on opposite sides of one unlucky fellow that ended up squeezed between their hostile auras.

"Starting today all of you are real ninja of the Leaf." Iruka began once he was satisfied. "However, despite all you have achieved in the Academy you are still merely rookie Genin. The hard part has just started!"

"You will soon be assigned duties by the Village. For that purpose, today you will be assigned to three-man Teams, and each one will have a Jounin-sensei." Iruka placed his hands behind his back. "You will follow your Sensei's instructions as you complete the assigned duties."

He revealed his hands, one of which was holding on a list. "I will now announce the Team Assignments! We, the Academy Instructors, tried to balance each team's strength. Know that this assignment is final, and can be changed only after the dissolvement of your Genin Team upon recommendation of your Jounin-sensei, or upon promotion to Chunin."

There were a lot of groans in response, but Iruka continued on. "Team One shall be composed of-"

I remained silent, chin resting on my steepled fingers in the classic Gendo pose.

"Who's this Gendo guy?"Ranma asked.

"Worst father ever."Minato answered.

"Ever worse than Pops?"

"Did your father ever tried to end the world because he wanted to be with his dead wife again?"

I tuned out the Gang's voices, the current event being far more interesting. The game system called it a 'pivotal event', and indeed the choices made today would greatly influence the future. Now, more than even, I needed to pay attention to deviations from canon and react accordly.

"Next, Team Seven." Iruka finally called. "Assigned to the Jounin Hatake Kakashi, it shall be composed of: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruko and Hyuga Hinata."

I kept my face set into a neutral expression, though I could tell Sasuke shared my surprise."An Uchiha and a Hyuga in the same Genin Team? That hasn't happened in, to my knowledge, forever."

'Any reason why?'I asked.

"Unspoken rivalry between doujutsu users. Ah, I wonder how Hiashi is going to react to the news."

That may be something to seriously consider: despite his faults, the man truly loved his daughters. Yes the Hyuga were a mess, and it would really come out only during the Chunin Exams, but everything I knew about the man painted the picture of a man forced to make hard decisions while under hard circumstances. I was already planning to help Hinata with her problems, her being in my team just meant I could start doing it earlier.

You have received an Epic Title!

Time seemed to slow down as the game's notification appeared before me, the surroundings losing color until it was like I was within an old black-and-white picture. My own thoughts felt sluggish, to the point I could do nothing but keep watching as a second window opened under the first.

[The Sage's Legacy]

The most widespread myth within the Elemental Nations is the one about about the Sage of the Six Paths. This legendary figure is said to be the first person to use Chakra in the history of humankind, the founder of all ninja arts and the ancestor of many distinguished clans like the Senju and the Uchiha.

This myth, like many others, contains more concentrated bullshit than normally comes out of bulls.

While Hagoromo Otsutsuki was indeed the founder of the philosophy known as Ninshu, neither his own sons nor his disciples would have been able to develop their ability to use Chakra without the help of Hagoromo's brother, Hamura Otsutsuki. Hagoromo's skills were completely instinctual thanks to the Rinnegan, meaning he was unable to teach his knowledge to people that were not as gifted (read: bullshit eyes shenanigans) as he was.

Hamura Otsutsuki didn't have the same instinctual talent as his brother. What he had, was a scholar's soul that pushed him to study the world around him, understand it and, more importantly, find a way toimproveit. He reverse-engineered all Jutsu Kaguya Otsutsuki taught her sons, formalizing the use of hand seals and methods to mold chakra that will one day become widespread among Shinobi.

Hamura greatly respected Hagoromo, but knew it was only a matter of time before humans chose to use Chakra as a tool of war. Despite it he allowed Hagoromo to take all the credits for their actions, believing the world needed only one savior figure, and retired to a remote location to continue his studies. One of Hamura's own children was the ancestor of the Hyuga Clan, while the other one founded a colony on the Moon, both to guard the seal on the Ten-Tails and watch out for other Otsutsuki Clan Members.

We all know who ended up being right.

[The Sage's Legacy]is the title bestowed upon those who bear part of the Otsutsuki siblings' legacy. As long as this title is in effect it becomes easier for the bearers to reach their full potential, granting them opportunities to unlock the secrets Hagoromo and Hamura left behind for those deemed worthy. All that's needed is the right attitude, lots of hard work and the willingness to change and break the mold. Or something along those lines: if you want a better worded explanation go ask the horned granpas themselves, they are still watching the world from the Pure Land like the fucking voyeurs they are.

Uchiha Sasuke is now part of Team Seven!

Uzumaki Naruko is now part of Team Seven!

Hyuga Hinata is now part of Team Seven!

The effects of [The Sage's Legacy] apply to all members of Team Seven!

After the last message the world returned to normal, with none the wiser but me.

Holy shit. The part about Hamura was new, even if it made sense, but that title... This was big. This wasreallybig.'Sasuke! Did you read it?'

"Of course I did. Have you forgot I see and hear everything you do?"Despite his words it was clear the black-haired shinobi was excited."It remains to be seen how effective this title really is, but considering everything else your ability has shown to be capable of it's worth a try. If anything this should make foiling Akatsuki and Madara's plans easier."

Yeah. Like Sasuke said I needed to test the title's exact effects, but if what I suspected was true I now had the chance to become even stronger than canon!

"Next, Team Eight." Iruka continued calling out teams, unaware that I was plotting how to enter history. "Assigned to the Jounin Kurenai Yuhi, it shall be composed of: Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino and Haruno Sakura."

So Sakura took Hinata's place on Team Eight.'Sasuke, do you think Kurenai will be a good teacher for Sakura?'

"Anyone is better than Kakashi. Honestly, who thought entrusting him with children was a good idea?"He scoffed.

'He taught you the Chidori.'

"Yeah, so here's a piece of advice: if he asks you to spend a month alone with him, refuse."Sasuke replied with a dry tone."If I remember right Kurenai Yuhi is a Genjutsu specialist. Sakura is actually talented in Genjutsu thanks to her high Chakra control, so if she puts actual effort in it right from the start she can become very strong. Though I recommend pushing her to also study Medical Jutsu."

No shit. Sakura ended up being as good as Tsunade, there was no way I was going to let that kind of talent be wasted. But Genjutsu Mistress Sakura also sounded good. Oh well, nothing that a lot of hard work (and the right motivation) couldn't fix.

"We will skip Team Nine since the one created last year is still active." Still active? Oh, he must be talking about Team Guy. That made sense. "Team Ten. Assigned to the Jounin Sarutobi Asuma, it shall be composed of: Akimichi Choji, Nara Shika and Yamanaka Ino."

The Ino-Shika-Cho remained unchanged. No surprise there: it is a very effective combo, the three bloodlines work well together and their Clans share a strong and long-lasting relationship. I would have been more surprised if it was broken, though I acknowledged that there have could been hidden reasons.

"And finally, Team Eleven. Due to special circumstances the formation of this Team has been decided some time ago." Iruka consulted the list again and nodded. Then he looked up to address someone on the other side of the classroom. "Mito-chan, did Mitarashi-san said if she would come here today?"

...Wait, what?

"Yes Iruka-sensei!" A cheerful, bright voice answered. "Anko-sensei, Karin-chan and Yakumo-chan should be here any time now!"

What. The. Fuck.

"What the actual fuck."Sasuke echoed, for he too noticed the sheer wtf-ness of what we just heard.

Faster than should be needed to be considered stealthy I turned around to search for the one who answered Iruka, and found myself staring at a girl with rather average-looking brown hair that reaches down to her shoulder-blades, bright brown eyes and a fairly delicate cast to her facial features. She was also short of stature, just a bit taller than Naruto, so that may have been the reason she was standing on top of the desk and grinning, arms folded over her chest. I saw her once or twice during the last week, what was her na- "This is the start of the great Hyakutake Mito's legend!"

That name.

That fucking name.

What was the protagonist of one of my favorite Naruto quests on QQ doing in my Isekai?!

"The hell is a QQ? And who's that chick? Who the fuck was insane enough to giveMitarashi Ankoa Genin Team?!"Sasuke was shouting. Because he could, while I needed to try very hard to not gape like a fish.

In that moment the door slammed open with great violence, as if someone kicked it. Considering the sexy leg that was lowered before its equally sexy owner strutted inside, that's exactly what happened. "Hi, Iruka-baby!" Mitarashi Anko winked at a quickly blushing Iruka. "I'm here to pick up the last of my new minions. Where is she?"

"Minions? Is that what we are for her?" Muttered one of the two people following after Anko, a girl with crimson eyes, fair skin andvery familiarred hair, though at the moment they barely reached past her ears. The brown glasses, however, were still the same.

"Karin?!"Sasuke shouted. I quickly bit my lips while covering them behind my steepled fingers, lest I ended up doing the same."She should still be in Kusagakure! What is she doing in Konoha?!"

"Karin-chan!" Naruko enthusiastically waved at the red-haired girl. "Why didn't you tell me they put you in a Team?!"

"Eeeh, sorry Naruko." Karin shrugged. "I have been busy until now with some matters, and honestly I learned the details only recently."

"Who is she, Karin?" The second girl beside Karin asked. Long brown hair and light brown eyes, a strange kimono-like shirt with one long sleeve and a short one... Where did I see her befo-'Yakumo Kurama?!'

"Kurama? You mean that clan of Genjutsu freaks?"

It was telling that, despite everything else going on, I was still stuck speechless by Sasuke's sheerhypocrisy.

"Oh, that's Naruko. We're cousins from our mothers' side. Well, distant ones anyway." Karin revealed, as if it was not big deal.

"Come here everyone!"Killua called out."I don't know what's going on, but Lee and Sasuke are freaking out and it's hilarious!"


	12. Chapter Ten (Part Two)

It was in that moment, as I watched Anko leaving the classroom followed by Mito, Karin and Yakumo, that I understood what Jackie Chan felt every time he said 'my brain is full of fuck'.

Because my brainwasfull of fuck. Both metaphorically and also literally, because both me and Sasuke were currently shouting 'what the fuck' over and over again. Furthermore, I suspected my real expression now looked more than a little plastic, because Iruka and Naruko were shooting me worried glances.

"Alternate universe, remember?"Tsuna told me with a soothing tone.

'Alternate universe or not, nothing prepared me for this level of deviation. And I'm calling it deviation to be polite, instead of just using the correct term:mindfuckery!'I protested.'I can accept Anko Mitarashi getting assigned a Genin Team, after all in canon the only thing harming her career was the stigma of having been Orochimaru's disciple-'

"You forgot the Cursed Seal on her shoulder, making her a security risk."Sasuke interrupted me with a dry tone."Considering I revived Orochimaru using it, that label was more than warranted."

'About that. How did you know it was possible to summon Orochimaru's soul using the Cursed Seal? And how did you do it anyway? I thought Itachi sealed him?'

"I knew because I spent months suppressing his consciousness within my own Seal once I realized I couldn't get rid of him. And because of the notes that Orochimaru left around in his various hideouts."He explained."I admit I underestimated how stubborn that snake freak was... Regarding the Sword of Totsuka Itachi used, honestly it was a gamble: I was hoping the Summoning Technique was powerful enough to overcome the seal. Only later I realized the seal weakened with Itachi's death, making it possible in the first place."

'...You sure looked confident back then.'I remarked. Seeing him resurrect Orochimaru with Anko's Cursed Seal and a bit of Kabuto's Senjutsu Chakra happened so out of the blue, I always thought Sasuke always knew how to do it and kept the method as a desperation plan in case things turned dire enough.

"The snake freak spent most of his life searching for a method to become immortal, I just trusted him to know every possible trick to avoid dying. And wow, did I just say I trustedOrochimaruwith something?"

'Yes, you did.'Meanwhile Iruka put an end to the Team Assignation, telling us to wait for our Jounin-Sensei to come before leaving the classroom.

"None of them should be too late." He added. Either he didn't know about Kakashi or he did and was privately laughing at our expense. "But if they do, you're free to take a break and eat something. The Jounin-Sensei have been already warned, so don't worry about offending them."

'How generous of them.'I thought while Iruka left the room. Still, at least that gave me enough time to put my thoughts in order.'Putting aside the matter of Anko, since to find the answer we can just ask around with some discretion-'

"Yes, let's."Sasuke replied."Now, I'll ask once again: who is Hyakutake Mito, and what the hell is a QQ?"

Oooh, boy! How to answerthat? Diplomatically?

Impossible, totally impossible. So I may as well go for the brutal truth and thank my lucky star Sasuke was confined within my mind.'Remember how your world is considered fiction in my own? If a certain story becomes famous enough, then many fans start writing and drawing stuff based on that story: drawings of the main characters, for example, but more often than not they write more stories based on that specific setting. We call them fanfics, and they take many forms: stories that explore how things would change if a certain character survived instead of dying, if something in the background was different and so on. Basically, they are the fantasies of certain people put into words.'

"...I think I understand. But wouldn't that count as copyright infringement if shared? I'm assuming they are shared, otherwise you wouldn't know of them."

'In my world, sharing fanfics breaks the copyright only if you gain money by doing so. Sharing them freely, on the other hand, is perfectly legal.'I explained.'Most people who write fanfics do so for fun, so not making money out of them is not an issue.'

"So Hyakutake Mito is a character in one of those stories?"

'Yes. I already explained the Internet to you, that's how most fanfics are shared. Thanks to its nature it's also possible for writers to make quests, which consist of writing a story in real time taking advantage of the readers' suggestions. An interactive story, so to speak. Mito was the protagonist of one of those quests, and QQ was the site where it was hosted: it's an acronym, the full name is Questionable Questing.'

"That's not a suspicious name. At all."Sasuke remarked with a dry tone.

'Well yes, the content was mostly pornographic in nature.'I admitted without shame, for I got over that a long time ago.'Anyway, in the quest that interest us Hyakutake Mito was one of the civilian-born Academy Students that were part of our class. She was not anything special... well, at the beginning. Long story short, due to specific decisions, a lot of luck and some bribing to the author from the readers -nothing monetary- by graduation's time Mito was a pretty strong Kunoichi, and her actions changed things around her. Mostly for the better. Why, she even helped her version of Sasuke become happier!'

"...Send me the relevant memories."Sasuke asked- no,ordered.

I hesitated.'Are you sure?'

"Do it. Now."He insisted.

'As you wish.'It was one of my favorite quests on QQ, so I had no problems recalling my memories of it and sending them to Sasuke.

"Earth to Sasuke." Naruko waved a hand in front of my face. "Are you alright? You haven't moved at all since Iruka-Sensei left."

"...There's a ringing in my ears." I replied with an even tone while turning my head to look at her. Meanwhile, Sasuke was screaming at the top of his lungs that he didnothave a spanking fetish. "It's strong, and distracting."

"Ah-ha!" The blonde pointed at me. "Someone's thinking about you!"

"That's possible." I acknowledged with a nod, even though I knew in this specific instance it was wrong. "So, we're teammates now."

"Yup! Me, you and Hinata-chan! That's great!" She grinned again, then made a troubled expression while looking behind her shoulder. "Although, since Iruka-sensei announced the teams the other girls kept sending me funny looks."

That was jealousy, and quite fierce to boot. In Sakura and Ino's case I could also see tears of bitter regret, probably because the ones to be put into the same team as me were two of the few girls whodidn'tpursue me in some way beforehand. Yeah, you could really taste the irony.

"And look!" She pointed to the other side of me, where one of what I dubbed 'generic classmates' was sitting on. "There are also some boys looking at you funnily."

"Uchiha, you bastard!" The, honestly, average-looking boy hissed with hatred. "I wanted to be put into the same team as Hinata-chan!"

Wow, the highschool comedy was strong here. "Did a Hyuga that is not Hinata-san ever looked at you before?"

The unexpected question seemed to throw him for a loop. "...No?"

"You have your answer then." I replied with finality before returning to the stoic Gendo pose. If there was one thing I was sure remain unchanged even across multiple universes, is that most of the Hyuga are prideful assholes.

So really, I was doing Average-kun a favor.

Soon only Naruko, Hinata and myself were left within the classroom. Everyone else already left with their own Jounin-Sensei. Beside Anko, Kurenai and Asuma I didn't recognize any of the other Jounin, but memorized their faces and names anyway since it could be useful in the future.

The blonde dragged the stammering and blushing Hinata to the spot Average-kun vacated so I, as the considerate young man I was, nobly and cooly switched seats with Naruko so that the two of them could converse without problems.

"Rather than a conversation, I would call that an one-sided monologue."Rito pointed out.

'Well, Hinata is producing sounds. That counts, right?'

"You guys are having fun at the strangest things."Ranma remarked.

'As if you're any better.'I replied while opening my bento and taking one of the rice balls I prepared this morning. I was starting to miss Western junk food like hamburgers.'How's Sasuke?'

"Currently being teased by Laharl about 'human's degenerate habits' or something. Headbutts are involved."Minato answered. Yeah, he really shouldn't have screamed that shit out loud."By the way, Riku, Tsuna and Issei left to explore a little while ago. Tsuna said he had a good feeling this time."

'Really? Must be true then.'If the owner of Hyper Intuition said he has a good feeling, then it's guaranteed to be something amazing.

Finishing the rice ball I cleaned my mouth before addressing the other girls. "There is something I would like to talk about with you all before our Sensei arrive."

"Sure!" Naruko nodded without hesitation. Hinata's reaction was more subdued, but also positive. That said she was still a pushover right now so, eh. Not that I wanted to bully her or anything. "What do you want to talk about, Sasuke?"

"Starting from now we're teammates, and we're going to remain so for at least several months. While our Jounin-Sensei will surely teach us how to work as a team-" Here I made a great effort to not laugh. "I believe it would be best if each of us know about the strength and weaknesses of the other two. This will make working and fighting together much easier."

"Oooh, I see!" Naruko crossed her arms and nodded. "That makes sense. Right Hinata-chan?"

"Y-Yes. I agree with Sasuke-kun." She replied, index fingers pushed together. Serious shy beauty material there, I could see why some people went gaga over cute things.

"Good. I'll go first then." I said. "I consider myself skilled in Taijutsu, with an emphasis on speed. For Ninjutsu I know a few fire-based techniques of the Uchiha clan. So..."

I smirked and pointed a thumb at myself. "If you need to set something on fire, I am your man."

Both girl's eyes widened as they moved away from him. "Did Sasuke-kun... just made ajoke?" Hinata whispered in horrified awe.

"Who are you and what did you do to Sasuke?!" Naruko yelled.

Wow. Their words actually hurt me. "I try loosening up, and this is what I get?" I dropped the smile into a frown. It was telling, that evenHinataof all people found what should have been just a harmless joke unreal when it came from Sasuke Uchiha.

"You never loosened up before!"

I rolled my eyes. "Whiletechnicallytrue, now I am a Genin and I also officially an adult, which means that,yes, I can afford to loosen up."

Naruko blinked in surprise. "Wait. If you become a Genin you also become an adult? Without having to wait until you're twenty?" Twenty? Now that she mentioned it, I remembered the age of adulthood in Japan is higher than just eighteen. "I didn't know that!"

"Well, it's true." I shrugged. "And since I'm not a minor anymore, that means I can stop being always on my best behavior in order to avoid giving greedy people an excuse to take advantage of the Uchiha Clan's assets."

"Can you shorten all that stuff to twenty words or less?" The blonde asked.

For a split second the figure of Naruko was superimposed with that of a certain overpowered baldie, causing a shiver to travel down my back. Good thing I didn't have the Sharingan activated, otherwise not even literal bleach in my brain would be enough to forget the nightmarish sight. "I own a lot of stuff. I'm an adult now, so people cannot take my stuff using silly excuses. Satisfied?"

"See? That wasn't so hard!" Naruko showed me a bright smile. She crossed her arms and nodded. "It's true, when you become an adult you can do a lot of stuff that you couldn't before. Like... like..."

She stopped, then turned around to look at Hinata. "Hinata-chan, what is it that adults can do but kids cannot?"

"Uh..." She pressed the tips of her index fingers together even harder, the blush intensifying. "I don't... I-I mean..."

I slapped a hand over my face. "We're getting off topic here. As I was saying, I know a few fire-based techniques of the Uchiha clan. I'm very good with shuriken and kunai, and know a few tricks with ninja wire to change their path and trap my enemies. Finally, you already know how good my grades are. There's more, but I haven't mastered it yet so for now I'll keep it to myself." I gestured with my chin to the two girls. "Your turn."

Naruko pointed a thumb at herself, a cocky smile on her lips. "One day I'm gonna master every cool technique in existence!" I raised an eyebrow, silently telling her she's skipping too far ahead. "But for now... Well, Iruka-Sensei said my Taijutsu is almost decent, and he needed to explain what chakra exhaustion is in details because apparently I was never going to experience it on my own..."

Jinchuuriki, 'nuff said. Having an infinite MP bar sure was unfair on so many levels.

"I know the Transformation, Body Replacement and Clone techniques! Even if Clone is my worst skill... But! I learned a much better version called Shadow Clone Technique and it's super amazing!" Naruko punched her palm. "I also came up with my very own original technique, the Sexy-"

"Naruko." I raised a hand to stop her, a fist covering my mouth because the urge to grin was making my lips twitch like crazy. "While seeing you pranking Iruka-Sensei was funny, please don't usethattechnique against an enemy ninja or you'll give Konoha a bad reputation."

Going by Hinata's nuclear blush, she agreed with me.

The blonde pouted, but stopped there and turned to look at Hinata. "Uhm... I know my clan's Taijutsu style, the Gentle Fist, but I'm not very good at it yet." Bullshit of the highest order, but even I knew confidence isn't build in a day. "Iruka-sensei praised my Chakra Control? And... I have the Byakugan." She looked down. "Sorry, that's pretty much it."

Naruko tilted her head. "Byagukan? What's that?"

"Do you know about Bloodlines? Iruka-sensei explained about that when discussing the formation of Shinobi Clans." Naruko seemed to think about it before nodding. "The Byakugan is the Hyuga Clan's Bloodline. To put it simply, Hinata-san's eyesight is extremely good and she can see very far away. There's more to it of course, but that's not for me to say."

I adopted a thinking pose. "Let's see... This is just a preliminary analysis, but here's what I think. Naruko, you have a very high amount of Chakra, which means during a fight you can keep using Techniques without getting tired. Hinata-san, it's the honest truth when I say the Gentle Fist is superior to my own Taijutsu. All three of us can still grow stronger, but for now-" I snapped my fingers. "Hinata-san, you're our short-range hitter. I'll be the medium-range one. Naruko, with your Shadow Clones you can cover the long-range hitter role and everything else that may become necessary, like distractions. Got it?"

"Leave it to me!" Naruko grinned with a thumb-up, while Hinata just replied with a meek 'yes'.

Kurenai may have taught Hinata how to use the Byakugan to scout, and while that was a very good thing I was going to make sure she also knew how to punchgood. In Naruko's case, well... At the moment I just wanted to teach her how tobreath fire.

"You're a madman."Sasuke declared with a deadpan tone.

'If one has the chakra to spare, why not put it to good use?'

"The whole Konoha will turn into a smoking wasteland and it will be all your fault."

The classroom's door opened, followed by Kakashi Hatake taking a lazy half-step inside. Now that I was able to look at the real thing... yeah, I could see why Kishimoto named him 'scarecrow'. Mostly it was because of the hair, did he even comb them at all or was I looking at the worst case of bed-hair in the world?

"Hmmm. How can I say this...?" Kakashi took a few seconds to look at us before raising his eyes to the ceiling, one hand cupping his chin. "My first impression... is that Ireallyhave my work cut out."

Damn, did we really look so unreliable? Or was Kakashi just an asshole?

"You'll learn the truth soon enough."Sasuke's bitter laugh did nothing to help reassure me.

One thing I forgot about the Ninja Academy is that it has more than one rooftop. Sounds strange, but it's the truth: the place where they took a picture of me was a flat circular spot located in the middle of the main building, while the spot where Kakashi dragged us was above one of the side wings. There were trees growing out of medium-sized flower-beds and even a proper balustrade, plus it had a nice view of the Village: add a pleasant breeze and it would make for a perfect picnic spot.

Sadly, nothing as nice as a picnic was going to take place today. Because we, members of the newly established Team Seven, were seated in front of our Jounin-Sensei and with more than half his face covered I couldn't get a good reading on what he was currently thinking. Not an obstacle for Hyper Intuition, true, but at the moment everything else about Kakashi was overshadowed by the general feeling ofpowercoming off him. I needed to interact with him more to start picking up minute details.

"Ok... Let's begin with some introductions." Kakashi mused with a distracted tone, his only visible eye screaming 'lazy, so lazy, I just want to sleep already'. Yeah, it was a very expressive eye.

"What do you want to know?"

"How about your likes, dislikes... Dreams for the future, hobbies, stuff like that." He shrugged, as if making up things on the spot.

"Hey hey! Why don't you introduce yourself to us first?" Naruko asked with an annoyed expression. I definitely needed to teach her how to stop picking fights with everyone, otherwise none of us will ever have some peace and quiet.

"The more people there are after you, the sharper your skills will be honed."

'No Ranma. Just, just no.'There was more to life than fighting and nothing would stop me from enjoying it.

"Oh, me? My name is Kakashi Hatake. I have no desire to tell you guys about my likes and dislikes. Dream for the future...? Hmm..." There was a pregnant pause, as if he never thought about that topic before. "I have a lot of hobbies."

Naruko looked unsatisfied and Hinata was just meekly accepting everything. So I decided to have some fun on my own. "Kakashi Hatake. Known as Copycat Kakashi and Kakashi of the Sharingan. Student of the Fourth Hokage." I began, hiding a smile from seeing Kakashi stiffen and Naruto gaping in wonder at the silver-haired man. Even Hinata was now staring at him. "Despite not being a Uchiha by birth he received his Sharingan from a deceased teammate and became very adept at its use, especially when it comes to copying techniques from enemies. Because of this and many other feats he's on the short list of possible Hokage candidates."

Kakashi rubbed his chin, his sole visible eye staring at me with idle curiosity. Faked of course, but part of the game was to keep certain things unsaid. "Hmm... I'm surprised. I didn't know I was famous about young Genin."

"My father, Fugaku Uchiha, told me about you: he said it was possible you would be chosen as my teacher one day." I answered. It was the perfect cover story: according to the timeframe Fugaku was already Clan Head when Kakashi received the Sharingan, and obviously the Uchiha would pay special attention to someone from outside their Clan being able to use their precious bloodline. Hell, I doubt he could have kept Obito's eye without Fugaku's explicit approval.

"Fugaku-dono spoke about me? And here I thought he considered me a bothersome subject." Kakashi commented. I couldn't be 100% sure he bought the last lie, but there was nothing he could do to demonstrate the contrary. At least for now. "Did he say anything else?"

I pretended to think about it before answering with a light tone, as if it was an everyday topic. "He also said you're hopelessly addicted to pornography."

Being a bastard feltsooogood.

Hinata blushed, Naruko laughed and Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. "I see Fugaku-dono was not a man to mince words even in private."

Well, I couldn't really deny that.

"Enough about me. Now it's your turn." The older shinobi switched to a false cheerful voice. "Let's start from the right."

"Me!!! Me!!!" Naruko waved her hand frantically. "My name is Naruko Uzumaki. I like cup ramen. What I like even more is when Iruka-Sensei pays for it. I dislike waiting for ramen to cook, and my dream..." She raised her bangs to show clearly the leaf symbol on her headband. "Is to surpass the Hokage and then have the people of this Village acknowledge my existence! Hobbies, pranks I guess."

"You have it backward." I spoke before anyone else could say something.

"Uh?" Naruko looked at me in confusion.

"Having the Village acknowledge your existence, in other words earning the respect of everyone, is one of the prerequisites to become Hokage." I explained. "After all, only someone with the support of all of Konoha's citizens can rightfully call themselves their leader."

Then I shrugged. "Well, that's my opinion based on how the past Hokage came to power."

"Not a bad conclusion, Sasuke-kun." Kakashi commented. "The actual selection process is a bit more complicated than that, but it's true having a great amount of respect or influence in the Ninja World is a necessary quality for every prospective Hokage."

"No way!" Naruko looked so shocked, her twintails were standing up. Her arms were crossed, fingers pointed in different directions. "But then why Konohamaru... That brat! Getting my hopes up for nothing!"

That was her fault for taking a kid's words seriously.

"Oh well, this changes nothing! I'll become a super-strong and super-famous ninja, to the point they'll beg me to take the Old Man's hat! Believe it!"

If Tsunade became the Fifth Hokage like in canon then she'll be more than willing to pass the duties to someone else. Well, provided they have a minimum of competence: she wasn'tthatirresponsible. I hoped.

"It's good you're enthusiastic about your dream, Naruko-chan, but give your teammates the chance to make their own introductions." Kakashi looked at me. "Next."

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha." I began. Now, how to say the truth while staying in character as Sasuke? "I like training and tomatoes. What I dislike... a few things, but mostly those who threaten what I care about."

Those were all things I had in common with Sasuke, so it was the truth.

"My dreams... I have both goals and a dream." I took on a more serious tone. "My first goal is to avenge my Clan and kill a certain man."

Note that 'a certain man' does not necessarily mean Itachi.

"My second goal is to rebuild the Uchiha's clan." There I faked a troubled expression, as if my next words gave me mixed feeling. Best to not appeartooconfident. "Even if, since I'm the last Uchiha loyal to Konoha, that means I'll need to revive certain...practicesfrom the Warring States Period. Which I hope are still legal."

"Certain practices from the Warring States Period?" Kakashi tilted his head, as if deep in thought... Until he gifted me what I could only describe as a 'eye-smile'. "Oh, Sasuke-kun. You little rascal. Eheheheh!"

Creepy. I mean what he was thinking was probably right, but still. Way too creepy.

Naruko tilted her head in confusion, arms crossed. "What kind of practices?" Even Hinata looked curious.

Did I really have to explain it in front of this perverted scarecrow? Oh well: in for a penny...

"I need to revive a whole clan, which means at the very least dozens of members." I explained while looking at anything but Kakashi. "But I'm a single man, so sheer necessity dictates I spread my genes as much as possible. That means taking multiple wives, and after what happened to my family I will accept only skilled and dedicated Kunoichi. I don't wish to lose anymore loved ones."

Hinata was now resembling a luminescent tomato, while Kakashi was chuckling even more creepily.

Naruko, bless her pure soul, merely looked interested at what for her must have been something completely new. "I didn't know you can marry more than one person! All the other children always had one Dad and one Mom, I assumed that was the rule."

"Nowadays, yes. Outside of some old-fashioned Noble clans I mean. But during the Warring States Period Ninja died a lot more frequently than today, so to avoid becoming extinct most clans allowed their members to have multiple consorts." Concubines too, but that was another whole can of worms. "The gist of it is that I want a big family, and that means more than just two people."

"Make sense!" Naruko thrust a fist in the air and grinned. "Don't worry Sasuke, even if it's forbidden once I'm Hokage I'll pass a law to allow it. You owe me one!"

"Much appreciated." I nodded to her. Meanwhile Kakashi was shaking in barely suppressed mirth, and Hinata had a glazed look in her eyes. "And for my dream... to change the world in some way, so what happened to me won't happen to anyone else."

"...Change the world, uh?" It was for just a moment, but I could swear a melancholic note entered Kakashi's voice. I wondered if this wasn't the first time he heard something like that from a young boy full of hope. "What kind of change?"

"I don't know yet, but I guess the experience I'll accumulate as a Shinobi will help me find an answer." I scoffed. "Beside, I'm only twelve for fuck's sake: cut me some slack, Sensei."

"Mhhh." Kakashi gave a little hum of acknowledgement, eye still smiling. "Ok. And lastly, the girl."

Hinata tried to sink into her hoodie like a turtle. Turtle-Hinata? Now that was an idea. "Uuh... I am Hinata Hyuga. I like cheerful people... who are kind. I dislike... people who hurt others for no reason. My dream is to become stronger... and be acknowledged by my father."

Could I fix Hinata's disastrous home life? Of course I could, so a better question was: how? Well, increasing her confidence was a good start.

"Alright. That's enough of that." Kakashi clapped his hands. "We begin our duties tomorrow, and we'll start with something between just the four of us."

"What is it? What is it?" Naruko asked.

"Survival Training." Kakashi replied with a half-lidded stare.

Naruko and Hinata were obviously confused at the notion of more training. I, who knew what was coming, just remained silent and waited.

"This isn't normal training." The Jounin added. "I'm your opponent."

"Is that why it's different?" The blonde asked again.

Kakashi merely gave a laugh. "Well, you see, when I tell you this you guys are going to freak out... You see, of all twenty-seven graduates only nine are going to become Genin. The rest will be sent back to the Academy. Tomorrow's training is a super difficult test with a failure rate of over 66%."

Naruko and Hinata made a good impression of someone who caught their parents still having sex. No really, it was just the right blend of existential horror and comical capable of making even a saint experience schadenfreude.

Still, they were my teammates so I was contractually obliged to come to their rescue. "And? 34% are still good odds. We just need to be part of those nine future Genin." I smirked. "You aren't getting rid of us that easily,Kakashi-Sensei."

"Sasuke's right!" Naruko hollered. "Whatever this test is, bring it on!"

Hinata didn't speak, but offered a meekly nod.

"Fired up, are you? Good, good." Kakashi eye-smiled again. "Meet me on training ground number seven tomorrow morning, 7 am sharp. Prepare every advantage you have. Oh, and I suggest you skip breakfast, lest you throw it all up."

With a whoosh of leaves the man Shunshin-ed away, leaving us three behind.

With a fluid motion I stood up and put both hands inside my pockets. "Naruko, Hinata-san. Let's go."

"Go where?"

I showed them a confident grin. "To do what every good Ninja does before undertaking a mission: find outeverythingabout their future target."

The Ninja of this world may be literal Kung-Fu Wizards, but that was no reason to not take inspiration from the traditional sneaky type.


End file.
